Hello!  I hope you'll enjoy this story.  It's one of the first fanfics to be based on the new show 'Pinky, Elmyra, and The Brain'.  I added Furrball to this story, though he's not in the new show.  Poopies.  Elmyra, Brain, and Pinky are (c) to WB.  Also, Wishbone is (c) to some guy at PBS, I think.  Anyway, enjoy! Feedback is welcome!
-Brooke "Zuzu" Michelle
Zucccini@aol.com
______________________________________________________________________

COOKIES FOR BRAIN

-by Brooke "Zuzu" Michelle

	Brain sighed. Another day with "the oaf" was about to begin.
	Ever since the lab had been destroyed, he and his brainless buddy, Pinky, have spent their days locked away in the depths of Elmyra Duff's home.
	"Brain! Oh, Brain!"
	Brain turned to see Pinky running right for him.
	"BrainBrainBrainBrainBrain- WHA--!"
	As was expected, Brain found himself underneath Pinky, who was laughing histerically at the moment.
	"Pinky, get off of me, or I shall have to hurt you!" grunted the large-headed mouse.
	"Ooh, sorry Brain! NARF!" chuckled Pinky.
	As Pinky continued to laugh, Brain rolled out from under him and smashed his fist onto the tall mouse's nose.
	"Quiet, Pinky!" commanded Brain. "Do you know what time it is?"
	Pinky looked at his watch. "Ooh, time for Wishbone!"
	"And what time would that be, Pinky?"
	Pinky thought for a moment, and then, delighted, said,"Time for Wishbone!"
	Brain conked Pinky on the head.
	"Uh, three o' four, Brain," he said, dizzily.
	"Oh no! The Oaf will be coming home from school at any--"
	"I'm home, cute talking mice!" came a call from downstairs.
	Brain shuttered.
	The bedroom door suddenly flew open, and in trudged a little red-headed girl.
	"Elmyra!" Pinky shouted. "Wishbone is on!"
	Elmyra squealed with delight and tossed her books to the side. The books landed on Brain, while the two idiots sat in front of the television.
	"I just love the cute talking fuzzy puppy head!" cheered Elmyra.
	Brain, however, was struggling from under the books. "I wonder how many Bunsen burners I could put in the space between Elmyra's ears..."
	"Oh, Brain! Come look!" called Pinky, still seated in front of the TV. "Wishbone is on a big ship for a treasure hunt to find the best adventure book in the world!"
	"Oh, goody. Is his friend Fluffy the goldfish on deck?" Brain said sarcastically. "Or maybe the magic toothfairy is swabbing the poop--"
	Elmyra slammed her fist down on Brain. "Naughty mousie! I'm gonna have to wash your mouth out with soap!"
	"Yes!" cried Brain, as he stumbled around, goggly from the blow.
	"Really, Brain," scolded Pinky. "Must you use such a potty mouth?"

	Brain was working on his latest invention for wold domination when the show Wishbone had ended.
	"Mousy, mousy, mousies!" cried Elmyra. "Will you help me sell cookies for my girl scout troop?"
	Pinky hopped up and down with joy. Brain just continued to screw the thimble to the sponge.
	"Will the big headed mousy help too?" asked Elmyra, again.
	Brain looked up from his work. "I most certainly will *not* help you with selling your crumbly cookies to people for some girl scout troop!"
	"But Brain! It's going to a worthy cause!" said Pinky. "Elmyra will get lots of prizes for selling the cookies."
	"What's the worthy cause?"
	Elmyra and Pinky looked at each other with glee. "Prizes!!!"
	"I see," mumbled Brain. "Worthless five-cent toys to add to your collection. No, my imbecilic friend, I'm afraid for the good of man, I shall have to stay here and work on my invention."
	"Ah, suit youself Brain."
	"I will."
	Brain cringed as Pinky let out a hollar of delight. He had climbed up on Elmyra's bow and was playing the role of a policeman's car siren, with Elmyra playing the car.
	"La Femme Nikita, baby!" said Elmyra as she grabbed her girl scout stuff and ran out of the room.
	Brain sighed. "I fear I can relate to Dian Fossey, for I too live amongst apes."


	"No, no, no!" shouted Brain, kicking the aquanator. "This can't be! It *has* to work!"
	Brain began bashing his head into the table he was working on when he suddenly felt the tight grip of a young girl.
	"Mousie! Elmyra's home!"
	Brain gasped for air. "So you've proven to me quite vividly!"
	"Oh, Brain!" laughed Pinky from atop Elmyra's bow. "Guess how many cookies we sold!"
	"No!" said Brain, pulling himself free from Elmyra's grip. "I have work to do!"
	Elmyra ignored him. "We sold twenty-five boxes! I even sold one to Rudy's mom!"
	"And if we can just sell twenty more, we'll get a big stuffed bunny!" finished Pinky.
	The two idiots began jumping around gleefully. Brain felt his temper rising. His face turned bright red when he heard the sloshy sound of Elmyra's foot stepping on his sponge.
	"Would you two please stop it *NOW*!!!??!!!"
	They both fell over.
	"Gee, Brain! I think you need to talk to Moo."
	"Moo?" asked Brain. "Who on earth is Moo?"
	"My invisible kangaroo."
	Brain slapped his forehead. "Pinky, I've no time for your shenanigans! I'm trying to make a sponge that will soak up the world's water supply and leave every lake, river, ocean and reservoir filled with V8-Juice!"
	"Eww, I hate icky-poo drink!" gagged Elmyra.
	"Yes!" continued Brain. "Nobody in their right mind would drink that beverage, if you can call it that."
	Pinky thought awhile.  "Um, what about all the big muscular people that work out?"
	"Like I said, nobody in their right mind would drink it, not excluding people without them."
	Brain walked over to a piece of paper and began drawing pictures and graphs on it to illustrate his plan.  "I will then use all the water to open the largest bottled water company in the world... 'Thirsty Brain'.  People will flock from all corners of the world just to get a swill of the stuff!  Are you listening so far, Pinky?"
	"Yes, Brain, but how can the world have corners if it's round like a big fuzzy bear's belly?" asked Pinky, emphasizing the world's size with his hands.
	Brain grabbed Pinky's nose.  "It is written that idiots should be seen but not heard."
	The two mice could hear Elmyra playing with Furrball.
	"Kitty's gonna look like a cute has-been, never-was teen heartthrob and like it!"
	Pinky sighed. "Elmyra's making Furrball pretend he's Maculy Culkin again."
	"How disreputable.  Continuing on, people will be so relieved of not having to drink vegetable juice, they will pronounce me as Ruler of the World!"
	Pinky began jumping up with joy.  "Egad, Brain!  You astound me!"
	He stopped and looked thoughtful.  "Oh, no, wait.  What if people start to *like* the taste of V8-Juice?"
	Brain froze.  "Then... people would thank us for showing them the magical taste of liquid celery.  But use your head, Pinky!  That would never happen."
	"*MEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOWWW*!"
	Elmyra scrambled after her pet.  "Come back, kitty!  We're gonna play Home Alone!"
	Brain ignored her and got back to his plan.  "All we need to do is find a sponge that can hold twenty-billion gallons of water..."
	Brain turned and saw Pinky was gone.  He soon found him turning the pages of the Girl Scout prize brochure.  "Pinky, weren't you listening to a word...I..."
	Looking over his shoulder, Brain saw a picture of a giant sponge as one of the prizes.
	"Furrball!!! Turn the page, you mighty Pagemaster, you!" cried Elmyra.
	Brain grabbed the packet from his friend.  "Pinky! It's a giant sponge! It's exactly the right size!!!"
	"Huh? Oh, right. That's if you sell a certain number of cookies."
	"Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?" asked Brain.
	Pinky thought awhile.  "Mmm, I think so, Brain.  But if Barbie is so popular, why do you have to *buy* all her friends?"
	Brain took a nearby pencil and smashed it on Pinky's head.  Then he continued.  "If I can get Elmyra to sell four-hundred thousand cookies, I can posses the world's largest sponge, thus enabling me to *take over the world*!
	Suddenly, during Brain's moment of triumph, Furrball leapt onto the table and on top of the two mice, with Elmyra clutching his tail.
	"Hee, hee, hee! Sharron Stone on line one, Maculy!" giggled Elmyra.


	Pinky was playing with a ball of string when he abruptly fell down the stairs and into Mr. Duff's laboratory.  There, he saw Brain toiling away at a large, gray machine.  "Brain!  Elmyra's been looking all over for you!  'Seems she's needing a chimney sweep for her dollhouse and- what are you workin' on down here?"
	Brain turned and smiled.  "Feast your eyes on this!  An exact duplicate of my cloning machine from the old lab!"
	"But Brain!  That plan didn't work, remember?  We haven't heard from Romey in months!"
	"Yes..." thought Brain.  "He must be busy with his 'friend', Bunny.  Roman Numeral One was a failure, but with the proper adjustments, this shall not be."
	Brain explained how he would duplicate Elmyra and sell more cookies that way.  "I would myself, but nobody can resist Elmyra's young girlish face."
	"Your's is all lumpy and round!" squealed Pinky.
	*WHAM!*
	"Er... the world is round...fuzzy bellies..."
	"Poor stupid ignoramus," thought Brain.
	Elmyra came thudding into the room.  "Mousy! It's time to sing about Mary Poppins!"
	Brain smiled.  "Elmyra... would you like to see a really neat thing?"
	"Yeah, yeah!"
	"Well, there is a giant puppy inside this machine-" Brain pulled a curtin to show where Elmyra should stand for the cloning.  "-and he has large eyes and wants to be hugged."
	"Yeah, yeah!" cried Elmyra, who then sprang into the machine calling for her "puppy-wuppy".
	Brain ran over to the machine and flipped on some switches.
	The cloning machine began to beep and flash lights, with Elmyra laughing inside.  Brain gasped as he heard the machine begin to rumble loudly.
	"Pinky! We must turn it off!" he shouted as he lunged for the "off" switch.
	Pinky hit it and the machine turned off.  Gas leaked out of the machine, and when it cleared, Elmyra stepped out.
	"Blasts!" shouted Brain.  "It still doesn't work!"
	From behind Elmyra stepped an exact duplicate of her.  Then another, another, and another!  Elmyras began flowing from inside the machine, all laughing and looking for puppies.
	"Brain! You did it!" Pinky exclaimed.
	Brain looked all around him and grinned from big ear to big ear.  Then he gave his own little battle cry of victory.  "YEEEEEEEEESSS!"


	The week went by and everyday after school, Elmyras by the dozen began selling cookies.  After the fifth day, they had sold three-hundred thousand, nine-hundred and ninety-nine boxes of cookies.

	"Brain!" called Pinky.  "Brain, the Elmyra's are getting restless!"
	Brain looked up from the papers with sales on them.  "Sit them in front of a Janet Jackson special.  That'll quiet them."
	Like wildabeest on the move, the terrifying and thunderous sound of twenty-four Elmyras stampeding dowstairs filled the house.  They were all screaming and ran to the garage.  Pinky was slow to follow.
	"Sorry. It seems they have a phobia of anyone from the Jackson 5."
	"Hmm, I can't blame them.  But do you realize that we only have to sell one more box of cookies and we'll have the sponge!?!"
	"Oh, that's great, Brain," said Pinky, uninterested in what Brain had to say.
	Brain read his tone of voice.  "What?"
	"Oh, I dunno.  I just thought it must be nice for other rodents who don'thave to live with the stress of having a best-friend bent on global domination. ZORT!"
	"Pinky, what's the problem? I already promised to appoint you 'Keeper of the Cheese', 'Amusement Park Administrator', and 'Leader of the Jello Molds'! What more do you want?"
	"I want a little love."
	Brain frowned.  "Pinky, I have often wondered about your sexuality.  Keep your thoughts on 'straight' and go play with The Oaf."
	"Which one?"
	"Oh yeah..." sighed Brain.  "How does one ditch twenty-three dolts?"
	As Brain wondered, the original Elmyra skipped into the room and held out an order form.  "I sold another box of cookies!  Can I watch Teletubbies, now?"
	Brain snatched the form away from her.  "Yes! Always!"


	The day had finally come.  Brain and Pinky hid under the original Elmyra's burette as she and twenty-three clones in hiding went to collect her prize.
	For selling more cookies than any other scout in history, Elmyra would be awarded her prize by a celebrity at a fancy banquet.
	"Gee, Brain," started Pinky as he played with Elmyra's hair from under the cap. "Who do you think the celebrity presenting the sponge will be?  Hugh Grant?"
	Brain frowned.  "I wouldn't consider him an ideal presenter for a bunch of Girl Scouts, Pinky."

	An announcer got up in front of everybody and cleared her throat.  "Welcome everyone to Acme Acres! We are here because one little girl named Elmyra Duff sold the record amount of cookies in Girl Scout history!..."

	Time passed and the two mice were getting hotter and hotter under Elmyra's hat.  Finally, after what seemed like the longest speech in history, the announcer handed the microphone to a tall, well dressed man.
	"And now, to present Elmyra with her chosen prize, the...uh...giant sponge, is none other than..."
	"Yes...yes?" Brain said with enthusiasm.  "Get on with it!"
	"The smartest dog in the world..."
	Brain's joy turned to disbelief.  "Dog...?"
	"Wishbone!"
	A small terrier pulling a large sponge walked onto the stage as everone clapped.  Elmyra was extatic.
	Brain trembled.  "Wishbone?"
	"Wishbone!" said the man.
	"Wishbone!" repeated Pinky.
	"Wishbone!" cried Elmyra.
	"WISHBONE!!!" shouted all the Elmyra clones as they all leaped from their hiding spots.
	The little terrier lifted an ear in concern.
	"Wishbone..." repeated Brain.
	All the Elmyras, including the original on stage, made a mad dash for the little dog.  Pinky and the Brain went flying out of Elmyra's burette and landed on the sponge.  Wishbone ran out of the building with the Elmyra's close on his tail, leaving a baffled crowd and two very upset mice.
	"I wanted to meet Wishbone," whimpered Pinky.
	The announcer stepped up to the two mice.  "Who are you?"
	Brain answered.  "We are pets of Elmyra's, and we'll be taking the sponge."
	The announcer smiled.  "I'm sorry, but nobody can take home the sponge but the designated winner, that is, Elmyra Duff."
	"But it's not hers! It's mine!" shouted Brain.  "She sold those cookies for me!"
	"This is not your sponge!"
	"Think, dimwit, think!  What little girl would ask for a sponge?!?!  *I* sold those cookies!"
	The announcer frowned.  "You did?  Are you a Girl Scout?"
	"Um, no..."
	"Than this prize isn't yours *or* Elmyra's!  It's going right back to the warehouse!"
	As two moving workers began to haul the sponge away, Brain pleaded.  "No wait!  I didn't sell those cookies!  It really *was* Elmyra!  Wait!  Please!  Please wait..."


	Back in the cage at Elmyra's house, Pinky and the Brain sighed as they watched Elmyra play with Furrball and Mr. Shell-butt.
	Brain sighed.  "Merchandising scam."
	Pinky looked confused.  "What?"
	"Merchandising scam.  Matel sells friends for Barbie seperately so that little children have to buy more items to have a complete set.  It has nothing to do with her popularity, it's a merchandising scam."
	"Oh," replied Pinky.  "Thanks, Brain."
	Brain sat up and walked over to his bed.  "Come Pinky.  We need to rest up for tomorrow."
	"Well, why Brain?  What are we going to do tomorrow?"
	"Same thing we do every day, Pinky," grinned Brain.  "Try yto take over the world!


"They're dinky,
they're Pinky and the Brain
Brain,
Brain,
Brain,
Brain!"



THE END