"Hip-Hop Hoops" a Tiny Toon Adventures story featuring Bugs and Lola Bunny by Renee L. Carter (January 1997) "Where did she come from?" Buster glanced over where Plucky was looking and raised his eyebrows. "Heaven?" he guessed. The "she" in question was Lola Bunny, a trim, blond rabbit dressed in a short tank top and even shorter athletic shorts. She was standing in the lunch line among the faculty. "I think she's Professor Bunny's new girlfriend," said Hamton from across the cafeteria table, where he was eating his olive loaf. "Lucky guy," said Buster, gazing at her. "Look at her... soft fur--" Plucky suddenly looked very nervous. "Ah, Buster--" "Beautiful eyes," he sighed. "Buster!" Plucky began wildly pointing over Buster's shoulder. Buster ignored him and continued, placing his chin on his palm as his eyes started to glaze over. "Long legs... look at the way she walks! I've never seen anyone more--" "Buster!" Babs, not Plucky-- and she didn't sound too happy. Buster whirled. "Beautiful. Ah..." He laughed nervously. "Hi, Babs." He paused. "Just talking about you." She didn't buy it. Buster cleared his throat, feeling the room getting warmer every second. "So... can I... carry your books?" he ventured. Her response almost gave him frostbite. "I'll carry them myself." And to prove the point, she bopped him over the head with her Cartoon Math textbook. Two hundred twenty-eight pages. And a very hard cover. As Babs stalked off, Buster glared at Plucky from underneath the rising lump on his forehead. "Why didn't you tell me?" * * * * * * * * * Bugs stepped into the gym after school, watching Lola practice on the court. As she retrieved the ball after another clean shot, he spoke up. "Thought I'd find you in here." Lola turned, brushing her damp hair from her forehead. "Oh-- hi, Bugs. Hand me a towel?" "Sure thing." He handed her the towel, then tossed her a water bottle from her bag and sat down on the bleachers. She joined him, taking a few sips of the water as she caught her breath. "So what'd you think of the school?" he asked. "It's nice," she replied. "It must be a good place to work." "It'd be a better place to work if you were here, too," Bugs pointed out. Lola smiled. "Sure," she said, "but what am I supposed to teach?" Bugs stood up, picking up the basketball. "How about coach?" "Coach?" Lola echoed. "Sure." Bugs spun the basketball on one finger, then on one ear. "The way I see it, this Looniversity could use a basketball team. And I can't think of anyone better to coach it." Her eyes lit up, and she threw her arms around him and kissed him. "I'd love to!" The spinning basketball fell off Bugs' ear and hit him on the head, jarring him back to reality. Lola expertly caught the ball and smiled at him. "How about a little one-on-one?" she asked sweetly. Bugs spun around once, reappearing in his Tune Squad uniform. "You're on-- doll." * * * * * * * * * * The fliers were posted all over the Looniversity the next day. Tryouts for the basketball team, the Looniversity Toonsters, would be that Friday after school. From her locker across the hall, Babs saw Buster, Plucky, and Hamton standing in front of the bulletin board. "Like, hi, Babs." Babs stuffed her notebook into her backpack. "Hi, Shirley." Shirley and Fifi were standing at her locker, ready for their next class. "Like, have you heard?" asked Shirley. "The Looniversity's going to have a basketball team or some junk." "Great," said Babs dryly as she slammed her locker shut. When I grow to six feet I'll be sure to try out." "I'm getting some mondo negatory vibes from you, Babs," said Shirley. "What's got your aura so stressed out?" "Just something Buster said yesterday." "But you are going to the movies Friday, n'est-ce pas?" asked Fifi. "Yeah," said Babs. "He'll apologize by then. I bet he's standing over there thinking of just how to make it up to me. Come on." The three walked over to the bulletin board. Babs cleared her throat. "So," she began casually, "are we still on for Friday? I thought we could maybe get something to eat after school, and then--" "Sorry, Babsy, no can do." He pointed to the flier. "Tryouts are that afternoon." "Oh." Babs' ears fell, and she tried not to act disappointed. "Um... maybe Saturday?" she asked hopefully. The bell rang, and everyone headed to class. "I'll call you," said Buster as he dashed down the hall. Babs stood where she was for a moment. Then she glanced at the flier and noticed three words near the bottom of the page: LOLA BUNNY, COACH. No wonder he'd been so eager to try out-- and to cancel their date! Well, thought Babs, if he wanted to spend his time with the new coach instead of her, that was just fine with Babs Bunny! She certainly didn't need him. It was easy to think, but not so easy to believe. Babs sighed and trudged to class. * * * * * * * * * The next afternoon, Babs sat in her desk in her last class, Villains 101, aimlessly doodling on a piece of paper. The professor, Bugs Bunny, normally kept his class in stitches. As a matter of fact, everyone but Babs was having a great tame listening to his anecdotes of how he outsmarted all of the best foes. Babs took out another piece of paper and started writing. Maybe if she could write a note to Buster and slip it into his locker, maybe she could tell him how she felt, and maybe.." "So, we know that the first two rules," said Bugs, "are as follows: One, always eat your carrots." The class chuckled. "Two, remember that your adversaries have tapioca for brains. Now-- can anyone tell me the third rule?" He scanned through the rows. "Babs?" Babs looked up. "Ah-- yes, sir?" "Do you know the answer? Or better yet, do you know the question?" The class snickered. Babs blushed a darker shade of pink. "No, sir," she admitted with a sigh, looking at her desk. The bell rang, and everyone scrambled to get their books and go home. "Third rule," said Bugs over the commotion, "is villains always fall for cheesy disguises. There'll be a quiz tomorrow." Babs crumpled the half-written note into a ball and tossed it into the trash can by Bugs' desk. She was the last student left in the room. "Babs? Can I talk to you?" She turned. "I'm sorry I wasn't paying attention. It won't happen again." "That's good to hear," said Bugs, pulling a carrot from his desk drawer and crunching it thoughtfully. "But you haven't been yourself lately, kid. No wisecracks, no sight gags, no impressions-- is anything wrong?" Babs paused. "Anything you want to talk about?" She sighed. "No. Everything's fine." Bugs shrugged. "Okay. But you know where I am." Babs nodded and left. "There goes the bluest pink bunny I've ever seen," said Bugs to himself. "Who're you talking to?" asked Lola as she came into the classroom, wearing the new Toonsters uniform. "Nobody." He took a few more bites of carrot and looked her up and down. "Nice outfit." Lola sat on the edge of Bugs' desk. "Do you think a lot of people are going to show up for the tryouts?" "I hope so." Lola frowned. "What do you mean?" "Well--" "Bugs?" Buster came into the room, saw Lola, and froze. "Hi, kid, what's up?" Buster stared at Lola and didn't answer. Bugs smiled slightly and took a paper out of Buster's hand. "This would be your report from yesterday. Lola, this is Buster. One of my best students, when he can talk." Lola smiled. "Nice to meet you." She paused. "You know, Buster, you look like a guy that might know how to shoot hoops. Are you coming to tryouts tomorrow?" Buster swallowed and nodded. Bugs produced a bucket of water, tossed in some ice cubes and a couple of fish, and dumped the whole thing over Buster. "Thanks, teach," said Buster, wringing water out of his ears. "You looked like you needed it. Hey, Buster," he added, "could you try to recruit some toons for the team? We're kind of in a jam-- see, this team's on a trial basis. If there's not enough interest, or if they don't do well, then--" "Then I'm out of a job," said Lola, looking at Bugs. "Is this what you were going to tell me?" "'Fraid so," said Bugs. He turned to Buster. "So can you help us out?" "No problem," said Buster, bowing slightly. "Thank you, Buster," said Lola. And she leaned down and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. Buster melted, then reformed and zipped out of the room. Lola laughed softly. "Cute kid." Bugs raised one eyebrow. "Competition?" "Never! Come on," Lola purred, "let's go get some carrot juice. My treat..." * * * * * * * * * Buster worked as hard as he could to convince his friends to try out for the team. When Friday afternoon came, he joined Plucky, Hamton, Gogo, Furrball, Dizzy, and a couple of extras he didn't recognize in the Looniversity gym. Tryouts seemed like they lasted forever as Lola, armed with a whistle and a clipboard, ran them through drills and relays. Finally, she made a few notes on her clipboard, then announced, "First of all, I want to tell you that you've all done a great job, and I want to thank you for trying out. I'll be posting the roster at lunch on Monday. The five of you that make the team will need to see me that afternoon about uniforms. Good luck, and I'll see you then." * * * * * * * * * Saturday afternoon, Babs lay on her bed, both ears turned toward the phone. Buster hadn't called Friday night, and she was working on a book report, trying to keep busy. So far she had two sentences, including the title of the report and her name. She couldn't call him. She was supposed to be mad at him! But... what if he just wanted to be on the basketball team? What if it didn't matter that Lola was the coach? This was too complicated. It was much easier just to be mad at Buster than to try to see his side of it. Then, suddenly, she had an idea. She wouldn't be able to do anything until Monday, but in the meantime, she could think about just how great and perfect an idea it was. * * * * * * * * * "You're going to what?" chorused Shirley and Fifi. "I'm going to join the team," Babs repeated. "It's perfect. I can keep an eye on Buster, and he'll never know it." And maybe if I can play basketball like she can, she added silently to herself, maybe if I were more like her, then... Babs looked at the clock in the hallway. "Gotta motor-- I have to find the coach." * * * * * * * * * Bugs knocked on the door of Lola's new office, where she was going over her list of potential team members. "What's up, jock?" Lola smiled and displayed the clipboard with a flourish. "Just putting together a championship team." "Good job. I'll see you after classes?" A mischievous sparkle lit her eyes. "If you're lucky." "Fair enough." Bugs slipped out, closing the door behind him. Lola copied the names onto the sheet that would be posted at lunch. As she finished, there was a soft knock on her door. "Come in." Babs stepped hesitantly inside. "Ah--Coach Bunny?" "None other. Can I help you?" Babs paused, feeling shy for the first time in her life. It was now or never. "I'd like to try out for the team." Lola thought it over. "Well-- you missed tryouts. But let's see what you've got." The two went out into the gym, which was just across the hall from Lola's office. "Here you go," said Lola, tossing Babs a basketball. Babs tried to calm the butterflies in her stomach. After all, she'd certainly hung around Buster long enough to remember how he played. With some concentration, she dribbled the ball for a moment, then shot. The ball bounced neatly off the rim, missing the basket. Lola caught the ball and passed it back to Babs. "Try it again." The second shot was no better. "Here," said Lola, "let me show you a few things..." Several moments later, Babs' fifth shot went in. "Maybe there's hope for you after all, um-- what was your name?" "Babs Bunny." Lola nodded. "Babs. You wouldn't be related to a Buster Bunny, would you?" "You wouldn't believe how much I get asked that," said Babs dryly. "Well," said Lola as they went back to her office, "I can't offer you a spot on the team-- the decision's already been made-- but I'll tell you what. You can warm the bench for now and step in if we need you." She took a few quick measurements for a uniform, then wrote Babs a pass to homeroom. "Oh, and Babs?" called Lola as she left. "Yeah?" "Keep practicing. Trust me, you'll be amazed what it does." * * * * * * * * * The roster was posted at lunch, and everyone crowded around to see who would be on the team. Babs wasn't surprised when she read the list of players: +-----------------------------+ : BUSTER BUNNY, FORWARD : : DIZY DEVIL, GUARD : : PLUCKY DUCK, FORWARD : : FURRBALL, GUARD : : HAMTON J. PIG, CENTER : +-----------------------------+ Below the names was a reminder that the first practice would be Wednesday afternoon. And then, thought Babs, we'll see what's really going on.." * * * * * * * * * "Like, are you sure this is such a good idea?" asked Shirley as she and Fifi walked with Babs down the hall to the gym. It was Wednesday afternoon, and practice would begin in just a few minutes. "It's a great idea," Babs corrected her. "Besides, I'm on the team -- sort of -- and I can't back out now." Shirley and Fifi looked at each other and shrugged as Babs went inside. "We will see you at Weenieburger apres practice, oui?" called Fifi. "Sure," said Babs, closing the door behind her. See you then!" Shirley turned to Fifi. "Like, I'm getting some really bad karma about this." "Oui," Fifi agreed. "I hope she knows what she is doing." * * * * * * * * * The rest of the team was already in the gym, shooting hoops, talking, and laughing. When Babs made herself comfortable on the bleachers, Buster noticed her and came over. "I didn't know they'd had tryouts for cheerleaders yet," he said. "I'm not a cheerleader," Babs replied icily. Buster couldn't hold back a smile. "You mean you're on the basketball team?" She crossed her arms. "Absolutely." "What gives? You never liked basketball before." Before Babs could answer, Lola stepped onto the court and blew her whistle sharply. Buster ran back to join the rest of the team, and Babs settled back to watch. "We're going to work on defense this time, crew," said Lola. "I'll start with a demonstration of man-to-man defense -- or in this case, rabbit to rabbit. Buster?" Buster stepped forward, and Lola picked up the ball and started dribbling. "Now-- here we go. She advanced toward the basket, Buster guarding her every step. When she tried to shoot, Buster stole the ball. "In man-to-man defense," said Lola, "each of you will guard a player on the opposing team." She took the ball from Buster. "Thanks, Buster. Good job." Buster beamed. Babs seethed. She had never liked basketball very much before. Now she was beginning to hate it. * * * * * * * * * "Next practice is this Saturday," said Babs as she sipped a carrot milkshake at Weenieburger. "And the first game's a week after that." "But you haven't told us anything," Fifi protested. "Yeah, like, what about Buster?" Shirley chimed in. "Uh..." Babs stirred her milkshake with the straw while the others waited expectantly. She had chosen Buster for her demonstrations all through practice, but it wasn't exactly as bad as she had imagined it to be. "It's hard to say, really." "Like, is he falling all over her or some junk?" asked Shirley. Babs didn't want to sound like she could maybe just possibly be wrong, so she nodded. "It's completely disgusting. I don't know what he even sees in her anyway. He saw me at practice today, and he thought I was a cheerleader-- can you believe it?" Fifi rolled her eyes. "Boys! They are so-- how you say?-- stupid!" Shirley glanced at the door. "Like, don't look now, Babs," she said, "but there's Mister Observant coming in the door." Babs took another gulp of her milkshake as Buster approached. "Babs?" "Yes, Buster?" she replied coolly. "I was wondering if you wanted to catch a flick this Friday p.m.-- ah, since we couldn't last time?" "Somehow I recall being free," said Babs, stirring her milkshake nonchalantly. "Well-- do you want to? My treat." Babs thought it over. Maybe this had gone on long enough. Maybe it was time to try to patch things up. "Are you sure you don't have to practice?" she asked. "Practice? Nah-- Lola thinks I've pretty well gotten it down." Lola? thought Babs. Maybe it wasn't yet time to patch things up. "So," Babs purred, "we're on a first-name basis with the coach?" Buster started to catch on. "Babs, you can't really think-- I mean-- what I said last week-- I was just--" "Just what? Don't bother to make excuses!" Babs hopped up on the table and grabbed Buster by his shirt collar. "I know what you're thinking, Buster Bunny, and I know why you're really on the team!" "Babs, I--" Don't even try it, mister!" By now, Babs was doing what she did best: making a scene. "If you'd rather be with her than me, pal, that's just fine with Babs Bunny!" With that, she stormed out. Buster turned helplessly to Shirley and Fifi. "What was in that milkshake?" * * * * * * * * * "So how was the first practice?" Lola turned. She had been putting the basketballs back into the equipment room. "Bugs-- what are you still doing here?" "Hoping for a glimpse of the elusive rabbitus foxius." "Cute." "Characterized by fur like silk--" "Uh-huh." "--muscles of steel--" "Mm-hm." "--and great agility and intelligence. Have you seen any around?" "If I do," Lola teased, "I'll let you know." She stuffed her uniform into her bag. "How was practice?" "Great. And I've even got a replacement player, just in case." "Anyone I know?" asked Bugs, curious. "Maybe." Lola searched for the name. "Babs Bunny?" "One of my students," said Bugs. "And Buster's girlfriend. Hmm..." Bugs frowned. "What?" asked Lola. "It just seems strange. I think there's something going on between those two-- and whatever it is, I don't think it's good." He shrugged. "Oh, well. Try to keep up with the ins and outs of this school, and you'll know why they call it a Looniversity." He cleared his throat. "So... I hear there's a pretty good movie at the Acme Multiplex." "Oh, really? What's it about?" "Some hotshot basketball player wants to be movie star, I think." Lola zipped up her bag and slung it over one shoulder, tossing her ears back. "Not a bad way to spend a couple of hours... if the company's good." "I'll be on my best behavior." She smiled coyly. "Now I'm disappointed." "Is that a yes? For Friday night?" "Absolutely." * * * * * * * * * "Babs," said Fifi at lunch on Friday, "have you thought about talking to Buster?" "Yeah, like, tell him what you're feeling," Shirley suggested. "He can't read your aura or some junk. Why don't you go to the movies with him on Friday?" "The movies?" said Babs. "I'm supposed to fit all of my innermost feelings between the dancing candy and the coming attractions?" "It is a start," said Fifi. Babs sighed and gave in. "I'll call him after school." * * * * * * * * * "Popcorn?" Buster offered her the box as they found their seats in the crowded theater. The movie would start in just a few minutes. "No, thanks," Babs replied. "Um... I wanted to talk to you..." "Sure." Buster slurped his soda and leaned back. "Go ahead." "Well, I..." As Babs struggled to find the right way to start, the lights dimmed, and the screen flickered to life. "What'd you want to tell me?" Buster whispered around a mouthful of popcorn. "I'll tell you during the credits," Babs replied tiredly. * * * * * * * * * "Not a bad movie," said Buster. The credits had begun, and the other theatergoers were filing out. Buster picked up his empty popcorn box and drink cup. "I'll just go toss these," he said, and headed for the trash can by the exit. "Hi, kid." Buster looked up. "Hi, Bugs." "What'd you think of the flick?" asked Bugs, crunching on a carrot. "Not bad. What are you doing here?" "What, you think I live at the Looniversity? I'm here for the same reason you are, doc." "Which is?" "Treating a lady... Speaking of which, ah, how are things with you and Babs?" "Great," Buster replied. "At least, right this minute." "Bugs, did you want to-- oh, hi, Buster, how's it going?" asked Lola, coming up to them. Buster swallowed hard. Lola had traded her usual outfit for a low-cut blue dress that skimmed her figure and ended mid-thigh. The color made her eyes glow, and not a particle of the effect was lost on either of the male rabbits present. "Nice dress," Buster managed. Lola glanced at Bugs and smiled. "So I've been told." "Buster?" Babs came to stand beside Buster. She gave Lola a once-over. "Nice dress," she said finally, with the slightest hint of sarcasm. "Buster, we'd better get going..." Just a minute, babe," Buster replied, not taking his eyes off Lola. "Do you think we're really ready for a game new Saturday, after only two practices?" "I have faith in the team," said Lola. "Buster--" Babs tried again. "Just a sec, toots. So, do you think there's anything I need to work on?" Bugs raised one eyebrow and glanced at Babs. "Nothing I can think of," Lola replied. "Buster?" Finally he turned back to Babs. "Yeah?" "I'm going home." And she left the theater, not once looking back. "Babs, wait--" But Bugs laid a gloved hand on his shoulder. "Let her go," he said. "Lola, could you meet me in the lobby in a few minutes? Come on, kid," he told Buster, taking him outside. "We gotta talk." * * * * * * * * * "Look, kid, whether you want to tell me or not, carrots do wonders for the eyes--and I can see you've got something of a crush on the coach." "Bugs, I--" "Hey, I'm not mad at you." He chuckled softly. "Don't blame you either. But the truth is, she's out of your league. And what's worse, you're hurting Babs at the same time." "I didn't mean to," said Buster, abut she's taking everything the wrong way." Bugs shrugged. "Maybe so. But if she's jealous, the question you've gotta ask yourself, doc, is if you've given her a reason to be. Besides," he continued, leaning against a tree and pulling out another carrot, "whether you've done anything wrong or not, she still feels how she feels." "What am I supposed to do? I can't quit the team." "I'm not saying that's the answer," Bugs replied. "But if you don't start paying her more attention, you're going to lose her. Think about it: I've seen the way you look at Lola. How do you think Babs feels when she sees the same thing?" Buster thought about that. "Oh," he said finally. "Yeah." "What should I do, Bugs?" "My advice is, try to talk to her while she's still speaking to you." "Thanks, teach." "No problem, kid," said Bugs, heading back to the theater. "But, hey, Buster--?" "Yeah? "Next time, get a crush on Petunia Pig, will ya? Leave me out of it!" * * * * * * * * * Buster decided to wait until Saturday's practice to talk to Babs. But practice came and went, and Babs never showed up. Lola came over to him afterward. "I need someone to tell Babs." "I'm going over to her place in a few minutes," said Buster. "I'll tell her about it." Unfortunately, Buster never even got to see Babs. Her mother told him she wasn't home. He tried calling later that day and the next, but apparently she wasn't answering her phone. "Whatever I've done," Buster sighed as he hung up the phone again, "I've really done it this time." * * * * * * * * * When Babs showed up in homeroom on Monday, she was handed a note: +-----------------------------------------------+ : Missed you at practice Saturday -- : : Hamton pulled a hamstring, so we'll need : : you to take his place in the game. : : You can pick up your uniform after school. : : Congratulations - : : here's your chance to play! : : -- Coach Bunny : +-----------------------------------------------+ All the pink faded from Babs' fur. What was she going to do? She couldn't actually play basketball! Could she? * * * * * * * * * "I think she's avoiding me," Buster said to Bugs on Tuesday afternoon. "She doesn't talk to me, she passes back the notes I give her in class, she doesn't answer my phone calls. I don't know what else to do." "Give her some time," Bugs suggested. "You can always see her at the game on Saturday." * * * * * * * * * "And you, like, haven't spoken to him at all since Friday night?" asked Shirley at lunch on Wednesday. "Not a word," Babs replied. "Why should I bother? He's too busy gaping at her to pay any attention to what I say." "But the two of you were such a cute couple!" said Fifi. "Yeah," said Shirley. "You were, like, even the same species!" "Well," sighed Babs, "that was then." "So, like, are you going to quit the team or some junk?" Shirley questioned. "That's the worst part," said Babs. "If I quit, we'll have to forfeit to Perfecto Prep." She laughed dryly. "Of course, if I play, we'll probably lose, but what choice do I have? She tossed her lunch bag into the trash. "Like, where are you going?" asked Shirley. "To the gym," Babs replied. "Every few minutes of practice will help. I've only got two and a half days to learn how to play basketball." * * * * * * * * * Babs pulled on her uniform and glanced in her bedroom's mirror. If she hadn't been so nervous, she might have thought it looked pretty good on her. "Babs, hon," her mother called. "Are you ready for the game?" "As ready as I'll ever be," Babs muttered, grabbing her bag. "Might as well get the humiliation started." * * * * * * * * * "The starting five for the Looniversity Toonsters," the announcer introduced. "First, hailing from the back alleys of Acme Acres, the guarding tiger on the team, Furrball!" "Next," the announcer continued, "the purple powerhouse guard, Dizzy Devil!" Babs swallowed, trying to psych herself up for the disaster to follow. "Playing center, a substitution for the Toonsters-- standing at just over three feet-four if you count the ears-- the pink sensation, Babs Bunny!" Babs ran out, trying not to see or think about all the spectators who were in the stands. And then they started cheering. She could definitely get used to this part. After taking a slight bow, she took her place on the court. "Toonster forward," the announcer called out, "and hopefully the only fowl we'll see on the court, Plucky Duck!" Plucky stepped out in sunglasses. "A-thank you, a-thank you, a-thank you." About three people applauded. "My public," Plucky said sarcastically. "And finally," said the announcer, "busting loose in the forward position, Acme Loo's own Buster Bunny!" As the crowd cheered, Buster strolled out coolly, waved once, and took his place opposite Roderick Rat, one of Perfecto's forwards. The referee, Porky Pig, came over holding the ball. "Have a good g-uh-g-g-ga-uh-ga-- have fun, fellas." He tossed the ball, and both players leapt for it. Buster leapt higher, though, and he tapped it to Plucky. Plucky managed to pass it to Babs, who by some stroke of luck had made it near Perfecto's basket. With opponents fast approaching, Babs gulped, shot, and missed the entire basket. One of Perfecto's players grabbed it on the rebound and headed down the court. This was not a good start. * * * * * * * * * By halftime, the score stood Toonsters 20, Perfecto 55. Most of the Toonsters' score was due to Buster and Plucky's skill. Most of Perfecto's score was thanks to Babs' lack of it. Babs trudged into the locker room and slumped onto a bench. This was terrible. Not only was she playing badly, she was ruining the game for the rest of the team. "Babs?" Buster sat down next to her. "What's wrong?" he asked. "What's wrong?" Babs echoed. "Where have you been the last twenty minutes?" "I wanted to tell you you're doing a good job." "Were we playing in the same game?" Babs countered. "You're doing your best," said Buster. "And my best is terrible. Why did I ever think this was a good idea?" Buster frowned. "Why did you join the team, Babs?" Babs was too depressed to care anymore. "I thought I could... well, I could keep an eye on you." "What for?" "Um... because of the coach." "Babs..." "It wasn't just because I didn't trust you. I just.... well," Babs sighed, "I thought if I could be more like her, then... you'd notice me the way-- um... the way you noticed her." "That's why you joined the team?" asked Buster softly. "Yeah. I thought it was a great idea until today." "Babs, we've known each other all our lives. I'd never want to try to replace you. Besides, she's not like you at all-- there's no one else in Acme Acres or anywhere like you. And I don't want you trying to be anybody else. I mean, you and me... we're perfect together. We're a team. At least... we were a team." He paused. "Look, I'm sorry if I made you think I wanted her instead of you. I never did. I mean, Babs, I... well, I..." "Yes, Buster?" asked Babs sweetly. "I... uh..." Buster struggled. "You were saying?" she purred, edging closer. "I really like you," he finally finished. Babs decided to take what she could get. "You're not so bad yourself," she said, and kissed him. Plucky came over and grabbed a towel and a water bottle. "Get a room, you two," he said. "We've got a game to lose-- I mean, to play." He took a gulp of water, then headed back out. "What can I do to make it up to you?" Buster asked Babs. Babs looked wearily at the clock. "Can you teach me how to play basketball in two minutes, so I don't blow this game for the whole team?" Buster thought a moment, then brightened. "Not quite-- but I've got a better idea!" He leaned over and whispered a few things into Babs' ear. Babs giggled. "I like it." Lola came in. "Back on court, guys. Remember, there's still time to turn this around." "Come on," said Buster. "Let's go win this game-- Buster and Babs style!" * * * * * * * * * "Now," said Buster as they took their places, "when I give the signal, you do your stuff. Got it?" "Got it," Babs replied. The Toonsters were on offense, and as the game began again, Furrball passed the ball to Plucky. Buster waved to Babs-- time for her move. Babs spun around a few times and reappeared in a clinging red dress and heels. The entire Perfecto team crowded around her, staring, whistling, and drooling. With Babs as a distraction, no one stopped Buster from scoring a slam dunk. "Great work, Babs," he said, passing by her. "Keep it up!" Babs spun back into her uniform. "No sweat-- I got a million of "em!" "C-c-uh-c-can she do that?" Porky wondered. Lola laughed. "I've seen it done." As Perfecto put the ball into play and neared the basket, Babs yanked down a late-night talk show set and seated herself at the desk. She shoved the player with the ball into the guest's chair. "So, what have you been working on these days?" she asked, tapping a pencil on the desk. "Sports? Wow, that's gotta be a fascinating job-- and you're so successful!" She snatched the ball from the player. "Would you autograph this for me?" Then, in one swift motion, she tossed the ball over her shoulder to Plucky. "Whoops, clumsy me, I dropped it," she said. "Oh, well-- see you next week!" And she dashed off, rolling up the scenery-- and rolling the player up inside it. Babs laughed as she passed Buster. "This is more fun than a girl oughta have!" For the next twenty minutes, Babs pulled every cartoon trick she could remember from her classes: tunnel painting, walking on thin air, feeding the ball to Dizzy, using wellplaced anvils-- everything. And it paid off. With just less than a minute left on the clock' the score stood Toonsters 56, Perfecto 58. "I've got to hand it to you, Babs," said Lola during the time-out. "Without you, I don't think we'd have had a chance in the second half... but if we can pull off this last play, we've got it. Now, we're on defense, so someone has to steal the ball." "If someone can get it to me," said Buster, "I'll get it in, no problem." Lola turned to Babs. "Got something up your sleeve for this one?" Babs thought, then grinned mischievously. "I think I have something.." * * * * * * * * * Meanwhile, Perfecto's team was also in a time out -- and making a few plans of their own... "Turnabout's fair play." Roderick Rat sneered. "Let's give the Acme Loo losers a taste of their own medicine." He then produced the basketball from behind his back and with a typically evil grin, stuffed a stick of Acme dynamite into it, wired into a remote control-style detonator. Roderick slipped the detonator into an unseen pocket of his uniform just as play began. As Roderick moved down the court with the ball, Babs put her own plan to work -she spun around once and changed into a Perfecto Prep uniform. "I'm open!" she called, waving her arms. Roderick smiled a bit and passed her the ball. Babs grinned -- this was working great! She passed the ball to Buster, already hearing the excited cheers of the Acme Loo fans in her mind. "Great move, Babs!" he called. Then she glanced at Roderick, who had pulled out the detonator and was pressing the button. "Buster!" She tried to warn him, but it was too late. The dynamite exploded with the ball in Buster's hands. On the sidelines, Lola was fuming. "Of all the dirty -- " Porky was flipping through the rulebook. "It doesn't say anything about balls that expl-uh-ex-exp-uh -- blow up." Lola grabbed another ball. "Babs! Heads up!" Stunned, Babs caught the ball and glanced at Buster. His fur had been scorched black from the explosion and his ears and whiskers were frazzled. As she glanced at the clock-- only seven seconds left -- the realization suddenly hit her. No tricks. No gimmicks. No excuses. She was going to have to do it on her own. The next moments passed before Babs' eyes -- and everyone else's -- in the typical sports slow motion. Trying to remember everything Lola had shown her, she shot the ball toward Perfecto's basket, rolling it evenly off her furry fingertips. Babs closed her eyes, not wanting to watch as the ball descended toward the rim with agonizing slowness. When she heard the cheering start, she opened her eyes and looked at the court, certain that Perfecto had won the game. Then she felt Buster hug her hard. "Babs! You did it! We won!" Shocked, she opened her eyes. Her teammates had crowded around her, everyone smiling, everyone excited. She looked at the scoreboard, and her eyes lit up more than the numbers. The final score: Toonsters 59, Perfecto 58. "Great job, Babs!" Even Plucky threw his arms around her... so much, in fact, that Babs could hardly breathe. "Thanks, Plucky," she said in a strained voice. Lola came onto the court. "Great work, everybody. You deserve it. And Babs?" "Yeah?" Lola leaned down and hugged her. "Good job. I knew you had it in you." Babs glowed. "Thanks, coach." Bugs came over. "Great game, guys." "Do you think the team's done well enough to stay?" Lola asked him. "Stay?" Bugs echoed. "This team's done well enough to move in." "Sounds like we'd better start practicing for the next game," said Lola with a smile. "Next game?" said Babs, suddenly realizing-- she was only taking Hamton's place. "Ah, just between you and me," said Buster, "I don't think Hamton would mind taking your place--" Babs' ears fell. "--on the bench," Buster finished. Babs smiled and hugged him. "I'm sorry I ever doubted you, Buster." Buster laughed. "I'm sorry I called you a cheerleader!" "Hey, guys," said Plucky as they gathered in the locker room, "let's go to Weenieburger and celebrate!" Buster turned to Babs. "Wanna come?" "Sorry, Buster, no can do." "What?" Babs smiled and turned to go. "I have to practice. I'll call you..." And with that, she picked up her bag and sauntered out, already thinking up new tricks-- and new techniques-- to use in the next Acme Looniversity basketball game. That's all, folks!