AN OFF-COLOR STORY A "Plucky Duck Show" Tiny Toon Adventures script by David Gerstein (C) 1991 David A. Gerstein. This document may not be redistributed without the prior permission of the author. (e-mail: ramapith@ix.netcom.com) * * * * * AUTHOR'S NOTE: I wrote the following fanfic episode of TTA for a screenwriting project in high school, quite some time ago. I'm sure I could certainly iron out some plot discrepancies a little better now -- and keep certain dialogue a little more in-character. But again, this script (and its associated artwork) was created in 1991, when I was sixteen. I hope you enjoy it as a product of its time. * * * * * FADE IN: EXT. ACME LOO -- WIDE-ANGLE. PUSH IN revealing the familiar STATUES OF BUGS AND DAFFY beside the front steps. We slowly focus on janitor PETE PUMA pushing his CLEANING WAGON lazily by the entrance. ANGLE ON GOGO DODO popping out of bell tower, ringing cowbell. SWISH PAN to bird's eye view of students running out of Amce Loo FRONT DOOR, trampling Pete. ANGLE ON PETE, battered and ravaged PETE Only lunchtime and I've got a headache already! EWWWWWWHHH! Camera spins around to follow students. We see BUSTER BUNNY, BABS BUNNY, HAMTON PIG and PLUCKY DUCK walking to the cafeteria. HAMTON Oh, goody! Tuesday is brussel sprout day at the cafeteria! That's always fun! PLUCKY Fun, my foot! Plucky looks knowingly at the audience. PLUCKY (cont) This is the guy who eats vegetables 'cause he likes 'em! ANGLE ON BABS BABS Cool it, Plucky! Hamton can like whatever he wants to! ANGLE ON PLUCKY, strutting along quickly PLUCKY (pompous) So what if he does?! I'm just saying that some people have better (cough! cough!) taste than others. PAN LEFT to Buster, who reacts cynically to Plucky. BUSTER Taste, Plucky? Is this the same guy who stays up late watching Eddie Cougar horror flicks every weekend? PUSH INTO CLOSE ON PLUCKY PLUCKY (haughty and offended) Hmmph! You're just jealous! FADE IN: INT. ACME LOO CAFETERIA - ESTABLISHING We see lots of STUDENTS getting food. We see HAMTON straining under huge PLATE OF GOODIES, LITTLE BEEPER pecking at CALAMITY's food, SHIRLEY THE LOON hovering in the air taking food from SALAD BAR, FURBALL chasing SWEETIE with KNIFE AND FORK and crashing into others among the crowd. TRUCK IN on BUSTER, BABS, PLUCKY and HAMTON at table eating. Camera favors BUSTER. BUSTER You doing all right there, Hamton? SWISH PAN to Hamton, chewing with mouth full of food. HAMTON Nomph, mmph grlzmph fwmb fwmb glbd-- He swallows hard. HAMTON (cont) -- uh, just fine, Buster! (Takes big forkful of brussels sprouts) The more the merrier, I always say. I'm looking forward to today's Toon History class, though. ANGLE ON PLUCKY PLUCKY You'd find a class on putting up wallpaper interesting, Fat Boy -- BUSTER leans into shot and squeezes Plucky's BEAK shut. PLUCKY (cont) -- Mmph! Mmph! WIDE ANGLE ON HAMTON. He looks dreamy. Plucky glares at him skeptically. HAMTON Porky Pig is giving a lecture today about how he first became a star! I can't wait to hear about it. PLUCKY Don't let him fool you. He probably started out washing windows. Every celebrity started out washing windows. They -- ANGLE ON END-OF-LUNCH BELL. SFX: BRRRING! ANGLE ON HAMTON Hamton leaps up from table, tossing tray towards rack and running to door. HAMTON Oh, joy! I mustn't be late! I mustn't be late! Plucky dances INTO SHOT, following Hamton and imitating him with insipid expression. Plucky waves his wrist in front of him like he's using a yo-yo. PLUCKY (cynically imitating Hamton) Oh, joy! I mustn't be late! I mustn't be late! (Back to normal, slowing down) Oh, brother. FADE IN: INT. ACME LOO SCHOOL AUDITORIUM - ESTABLISHING We slowly move in over the HEADS of the squirming STUDENTS (some seated, some taking seats) toward the PODIUM, directly over heads of BUSTER, BABS, HAMTON, and PLUCKY. Plucky (on right of group) is leaning over the back of his CHAIR talking with SHIRLEY THE LOON, in chair behind him. Buster and Babs are talking to each other. Hamton is inert, staring ahead at the podium. FOGHORN LEGHORN walks out onto STAGE, in his TEACHER'S OUTFIT. ANGLE ON FOGHORN LEGHORN, marching out onto stage. A PAPER AIRPLANE flies overhead, which he catches and tosses into GARBAGE CAN near podium. FOGHORN (proudly) Oh, joy! I mustn't be late! I mustn't be late! Ah say, ladies and gentlemen, fo' your listenin' pleasure here this afternoon, we bring you Professor Porky... Porky, that is, Pig. ANOTHER ANGLE ON FOGHORN FOGHORN (cont) He's been workin' for Warner Bros. fer nigh onto fifty-five years, and Ah'm sure you'll all want to hear his interestin' story. Lights... ah say, LIGHTS please! Everybody keep yo' eye on the pig. Eye! Pig! Pig's eye! Ha, ha, ha! That's a joke! ANOTHER ANGLE ON FOGHORN. He walks away from the podium as LIGHTS go out. FOGHORN (singing "De Camptown Races") Dum dum dum de-de dee dee dum, oh, doo-dah day! CLOSE ON HAMTON In the reflections of his eyes, we see PORKY PIG coming onto the podium. ANGLE ON PORKY PORKY Good eve-uh, good eve-uh, good eve-uh, hiya, folks! I think I'll start from the beginning. My c-c-career began back in 1935 when I was a school kid, just like you out there. I was doing an act for a t-t-talent show at our school. I was a n-n-nervous kid, and my teacher wanted me to recite "The Midnight Ride of Paul R-Revere." ANGLE ON BUSTER AND PLUCKY IN AUDIENCE PLUCKY Ya mean, he didn't start out washing windows? BUSTER Quiet! CLOSE ON PORKY PORKY T-t-turned out that an a-a-agent from Warner Brothers was there. He wanted to make a cartoon outta my act, and he did! ANGLE ON PLUCKY PLUCKY Will wonders never cease? TRUCK OUT to reveal Hamton complaining to Plucky. HAMTON Quiet! I'm reflecting! ANGLE ON PORKY PORKY After that it was nowhere to go but up! Th-th- th-they had me act in lots of cartoons! And I became famous. ANGLE ON BABS AND PLUCKY PLUCKY (muttering under breath) Also modest. BABS (irritated) Plucky!! CLOSE ON PORKY PORKY When I was working for those guys in the early days, all the cartoons we made were in black and white. ANOTHER ANGLE ON PORKY PORKY (continued) That's 'cause color was uneconom-econom- econom... uh, it cost too much money! Here are a few scenes from some of them. WIDE ANGLE ON AUDITORIUM The room blacks out, and to the title music from early Warners Looney Tunes, we see black-and-white animation of Porky in some scenes from early cartoons. ANGLE ON PORKY He stands in shadow next to the podium, then turns in shock as he hears PLUCKY (O.S.) Stop! Fraud! I demand an explanation! A SPOTLIGHT whisks past Porky's face. SWISH PAN to Plucky in his seat amid the AUDIENCE, which lets out a collective sigh of wonderment. SFX: AHHHH! PLUCKY (agitated) Wait just a minute, fat boy! You just ran that cartoon in black and white, and just last weekend I saw it in color on television! Hah! You can't fool me! ANGLE ON PORKY The SPOTLIGHT shoots over to illuminate his face, leaving his back in shadow. He tugs on his TIE and sweats nervously. PORKY Well, I thought everybody knew. When we released those cartoons to telev-tele-TV about ten years ago, we thought you kids wouldn't like to watch them in black and white. So.... ANGLE ON PLUCKY PLUCKY So you went back and acted in 'em again, huh, fat stuff? Yeah, I'll bet my grandma's false teeth! Ya couldn't have acted in them again! ANOTHER ANGLE ON PLUCKY, BABS, AND BUSTER PLUCKY (cont) You've grown up since you made them pictures, and when I saw one of 'em in color, you was knee-high to a grass hopper and fat as a doorjamb, and ya didn't look a bit like ya do now! WIDE ANGLE ON AUDIENCE, letting out a gasp. SFX: GASP! ANGLE ON FOGHORN LEGHORN He stomps out onto the stage and waves his arms, trying to restore order. FOGHORN Quiet, ah say! QUII-ET!! A beat. Foghorn turns toward Porky's place on the stage. FOGHORN All right, Porky. Go on. ANGLE ON PORKY PORKY (disgusted) Of course I didn't act in 'em again! Why, they just re-drew 'em... the anim-an-ah-artists traced the pictures! ANGLE ON PLUCKY PLUCKY Traced 'em, hah, you're so smart! That'd mean they created new Toons! ZOOM IN TO CLOSE-UP PLUCKY (cont) Now if you know yer oats so well, where are those Toons? ANGLE ON PORKY PORKY They -- uh -- He looks around nervously, then tugs at his tie, and a huge JET OF STEAM squirts out of his collar. SFX: BOAT WHISTLE. PORKY (nervous) A'bdee, a'bdee, ah... I don't know. No one ever told me! WIDE ANGLE ON AUDIENCE, very unsettled. They are starting to get restless and looking around anxiously. Plucky is still intently staring at Porky, while Babs and Buster just stare at Plucky and Hamton holds his head in his hands disgustedly. FURBALL is leaping over the seats to catch SWEETIE, and MARY MELODY reaches up to grab him by the tail and yank him back to his seat. GOGO DODO is letting his head turn in 360-degree circles as everybody around him watches intently. SFX: CROWD MUMBLING. ANGLE ON END-OF-LUNCH BELL. SFX: BRRRING! VARIOUS TOONS IN SILHOUETTE run past the bell as it rings on their way out. As they swish past, some carry DUST, SMOKE, or even LEAVES in their wake. SFX: CROWD NOISE OVER RINGING BELL ANGLE ON BUSTER, BABS, PLUCKY AND HAMTON. They get up and walk down the aisle. PORKY Ya know, Plucky, I don't think you should've done that. PLUCKY You're just jealous. BUSTER No, really, Pluckster! It doesn't make your fellow students proud to see you stand up in your chair and start an argument with one of our teachers! ANGLE ON PLUCKY, marching to the auditorium lobby determinedly. He gets CHEWING GUM briefly stuck to his foot, pulls up, it snaps and he continues stomping along. PLUCKY It's not like I don't have rights, goodness knows! And it's not like I don't have a veritabobble argument, goodness knows it's not that! It's only that I... ERK! Plucky walks right into Porky Pig, who is waiting for him, breathing hard and looking very angry. Plucky gets a very embarrassed look on his face. As he says the following, he's trying to make amends, wiping off PORKY'S TIE and straightening his HAT. PLUCKY Gee, I'm s-sorry, Professor Pig! I didn't mean to cause such trouble, it's just that my voice just kind of runs away with me sometimes. Porky stomps toward Plucky, who backs up toward the AUDITORIUM EXIT DOOR. PLUCKY (cont) You know... "inquiring minds want to know," don't you... or don't you? I'll make it up to ya, I promise! I'll scrub your erasers, I'll beat your desks together... why, I'll even find out for you what happened to the new Toons who acted in those colorized pictures, I will! CLOSE ON PLUCKY AND PORKY. Porky leans right into Plucky's face. PORKY You b'dee-b'dee-better believe you will, or else... Porky whirls toward the exit and points (from his point of view) to the SUPERINTENDANT OF SCHOOLS' BUILDING. A dark cloud hangs over it and indeed, the building looks somewhat like a huge tombstone. We ZOOM IN on it in a split second and a funeral march plays on the sound track, rung out by grim-sounding bells. A beat. ANGLE ON PLUCKY -- TRUCK OUT SLOWLY He is sitting dazed on the ground trying to collect himself. Buster, Babs and Hamton walk up to him and crouch down to get at eye level to him. Plucky turns up and looks at Babs. CLOSE ON BABS BABS Plucky, you're in over your head! CLOSE ON BUSTER BUSTER You'll never find those missing Toons! Why, no one has ever seen them in years! ANGLE ON PLUCKY AND BUSTER -- FAVOR PLUCKY He starts up with a jerk and stares disgustedly at Buster. PLUCKY Au contraire, bub! You fail to reckon with my superior senses! Why, I'm the greatest detective that ever found a clue! ANOTHER ANGLE ON PLUCKY PLUCKY (cont) A random joe on the street may not know his odds from his bodkins, but the great Plucky Duck is sure to solve this case! I'll be the greatetht detective in the world! ANGLE ON THE WHOLE GANG Buster looks wittily at Babs, nudges her with his elbow. BUSTER Also the most modest. Plucky butts his head INTO SHOT. PLUCKY I heard that, carrot breath! I'll find those missing Toons! Just see if I don't! SUDDEN TRUCK OUT. Plucky grabs Hamton by the arm and strides off pompously. For a moment, Hamton loses his balance, but gropes briefly and then walks along behind Plucky, looking back vaguely at Buster and Babs (and the camera). PLUCKY (cont) Come along, hambrain! We have work to do! FADE OUT FADE IN: EXT. PLUCKY'S HOUSE ON THE SWAMP - ESTABLISHING We zoom in on a WINDOW as we hear HAMTON (O.S.) Don't you think there's such a thing as overdoing it, Plucky? INT. PLUCKY'S HOUSE - ESTABLISHING We see Plucky in a SHERLOCK HOLMES OUTFIT. He's wearing the traditional JACKET, DEERSTALKER HAT, MEERSCHAUM PIPE etc. with none of it fitting him. He is struggling in an attempt to pull his BELT as tight as it will go without his hat falling down over his eyes. He is stumbling around in circles. PLUCKY (pompous) Elementary, Hamton! To a good detective, appearance is everything! Both things give way at once: Plucky's hat falls down over his eyes and at the same time, his belt breaks. Spinning out of control, Plucky careens around the room, crashes into Hamton and is enveloped in a PILE OF WRECKAGE. ANGLE ON HAMTON emerging from the wreckage. HAMTON (dubious) If appearance is everything, Plucky... you haven't got it! Plucky emerges from under him. Plucky's hat is down around his neck, with a huge hole ripped on top through which his head emerges. His meerschaum pipe is inverted with its huge bowl on his head much like a baseball cap. Plucky's beak is on sideways, as so often happens to him. PLUCKY (disgusted) Thanks for the sour persimmons, cousin. Plucky jerks his beak into the right position just as he says the second syllable of "persimmons." ANGLE ON HAMTON HAMTON Well, what do we do now? ANGLE ON PLUCKY, scoffing in disbelief PLUCKY What do we do now, he says! Look at this guy! "What do we do now?" Sidekicks are supposed to do all the dirty work... it says so in his contract, and he asks me what we do now! Plucky's expression changes to wonder. PLUCKY (cont) Good question! What DO we do now? WIDE ANGLE ON HAMTON AND PLUCKY HAMTON I have an idea, Plucky! If we're ever gonna find Porky's doubles, there's nothing to do but go out there and look for them! Maybe they've been around here for years... and we've just been not noticing them! Plucky slaps Hamton on the back. PLUCKY (delighted) You're right, loyal sidekick! Nowhere to start but the beginning! Plucky turns sheepishly to the camera. PLUCKY (cont) I wish I'd thought of that. DISSOLVE TO: EXT. CENTER OF ACME ACRES PLUCKY and HAMTON walk through a cityscape PAN BACKGROUND. PLUCKY wears his DETECTIVE OUTFIT and tries very hard to look elegant, but fails. He is staring with one eye through a HUGE MAGNIFYING GLASS, and his other eye is shut, and as a result he's stumbling over OBJECTS ON THE GROUND which he can't see clearly. He's also weaving back and forth on the sidewalk and bumping into TELEPHONE POLES and PASSERSBY. HAMTON, following Plucky, sees PORKY walking along the street on the other side. Porky's in his NORMAL COSTUME and carrying his ACME LOO OUTFIT AND MORTARBOARD under his right arm. He's going in the opposite direction. MUSIC: TINY TOON ADVENTURES THEME IN HARPSICHORD-TYPE STYLE ANGLE ON HAMTON AND PLUCKY Hamton waves at Porky. Plucky ignores him. HAMTON Hi, Porky! PORKY Hi, Hamton! I s-see Plucky's keeping up on his promise to me! HAMTON You betcha! Porky exits to right. Hamton is now feeling pleased with himself and is striding along with his hands in his pockets now. He is whistling along to the "Tiny Toons" song on the soundtrack. Plucky is still not saying a word as he bumbles into things. ANGLE ON A DUPLICATE OF PORKY This pig looks about like Porky did in 1940. WIDER ANGLE TO ENCOMPASS HAMTON Hamton doesn't react at first but then freezes, with one FOOT in the air. Plucky is almost off screen to left when Hamton shrugs and begins walking forward again. ANGLE ON HAMTON He doesn't make any attempt to catch up with Plucky, but walks on, slightly nervous now. SLOW TRUCK OUT. After about ten seconds, ANOTHER FATTER DUPLICATE OF PORKY walks by. ANOTHER ANGLE ON HAMTON Hamton again freezes. He looks at the camera with a goofy and slightly insane look on his face. HAMTON (sounding insane and nervous) Heeheeheeheehee! Hamton grins in a bizarre way towards the camera. Plucky is now gone off screen. The theme song is now in a minor key. WIDE ANGLE ON HAMTON AND SIDEWALK MOVING OFF INTO DISTANCE Now extremely insecure, Hamton walks nervously on, looking ahead and behind him. A THIRD PORKY DUPLICATE walks by across the street. This one yet is plumper (as Porky looked around 1938), but it's still pretty obvious as to who it is. HAMTON Waah! Haa! Haa! Haa! Hamton flubs his lower lip a few times. HAMTON (cont) Blub! Blub! Blub! Ha Ha Ha Ha Haaaaa-haa ha! Hamton rolls around on the sidewalk in a fit. TRUCK OUT as A FINAL PORKY DUPLICATE -- looking like the very first Porky Pig model -- walks on from left, this time from the same side of the street as Hamton. FINAL PORKY DUPLICATE Y-y-y-you look b-b-b-bad, little b-b-boy! W-w- want a handkerchief? CLOSE ON HAMTON He goes into a double take and lets out a huge scream. HAMTON (screams) He runs around in circles wildly with smoke and flames behind him, splitting into several duplicates of himself which continue to run, crashing into each other several times and then fusing back into one. ANOTHER ANGLE ON HAMTON He finally gets himself collected and runs off to the left at about light speed. ANGLE ON PLUCKY Frontal view of him walking along looking through his magnifying glass, with the street (in perspective) going back behind him. He's shifting his MEERSCHAUM PIPE (which has BUBBLES coming from it) from one side of his BEAK to the other. From behind, the extremely frightened Hamton comes running INTO SHOT and collides with him from behind. HAMTON Pluccckkk-eeee!!!! SFX: WHONK! ANOTHER ANGLE ON PLUCKY AND HAMTON When Hamton runs into Plucky, a spew of PINK BUBBLE LIQUID spurts from Plucky's PIPE, which he then promptly swallows whole. A moment later (as the full force of Hamton's weight hits him) Plucky slams against the ground face first. PLUCKY (swallows hard) Gljyunk! HAMTON (desperate) Help me! I've gone gooney! Looney-tuney! Touched in the head! Waah, hah hah haaa! ANGLE ON PLUCKY He gets up with his BEAK again sideways. PLUCKY This is getting to be a habit. Plucky turns his beak right-side up again. SFX: CLUNK! CLOSE ON PLUCKY AND HAMTON. Hamton's TEETH are chattering and SWEAT is rolling down his face in large, unhealthy-looking DROPS. PLUCKY Okay, hambrain! What's with you? Or are you suffering from low calorie content? Plucky's HAT falls down over his eyes again. He pushes it back up. WIDE ANGLE ON HAMTON AND PLUCKY Hamton gesticulates wildly and shouts to Plucky in desperation. The SKY darkens behind them with dramatic impact and thunder crashes. HAMTON I saw it! I saw it, I tell you! Millions of Porky Pigs! Millions of 'em! PLUCKY How many? HAMTON Four. They looked just like he did when he was a kid! And each one was fatter than the last one!! Waaaah, haahaah ha! CLOSE ON PLUCKY His face is shrouded in darkness. As he talks, lightning cracks behind him and his face is briefly lit-up in nightmarish fashion. PLUCKY DO YOU REALIZE WHAT THIS MEANS? DO YOU REALIZE WHAT THIS M-M-MEANS? HAMTON (O.S.) W-what? WIDE ANGLE ON HAMTON, PLUCKY AND THEIR SURROUNDINGS Suddenly, the sky is sunny, BIRDS are singing -- SFX: CHIRPING -- and the music is happy again. Plucky is delighted. PLUCKY We've found the missing pigs, Fat Boy! Those are none other than the Toons Warner Bros. created to act in those re-colored cartoons! I've done it! I've found them! I've done it! And I'm not gonna get expelled! Woo-woo-woo- woo-woo! (SFX: DAFFY DUCK-TYPE LAUGHING) ANGLE ON PLUCKY He springs around on his hands in joy, grabbing the slightly confused Hamton and beginning to dance happily in a circle with the poor pig... who still isn't sure what's going on. ROLLING PAN TO LEFT as Plucky runs quickly back in the way he came, hoping to find the Porky duplicates whom we saw before. He is holding Hamton's hand and running so fast that Hamton is dragged behind him like the tail of a kite. ON HAMTON AND PLUCKY Suddenly the two characters stop. Even the music slows for a moment as Plucky looks around and blinks twice. SFX: XYLOPHONE BLINKING SOUND (a la Wile E. Coyote). A beat. TRUCK IN -- FAVOR PLUCKY PLUCKY (skeptical) Well, where are they? Hic! As Plucky hiccups, BUBBLES come out of his mouth. HAMTON They-- they were just here a minute ago! Honest they were! I saw them all go by right about here! ANGLE ON HAMTON His hand points to a place on the street. There is a PUDDLE OF WATER there. From the puddle on one side, we see the FOOTPRINTS OF SEVERAL PIGS. PLUCKY Perfect! ANGLE ON HAMTON AND PLUCKY They follow the footprints. PLUCKY All we've got to do now is follow those footprints and we'll have our man! Or pigs, as the case might -- SUDDEN TRUCK OUT as the duo see the footprints break off next to a PICKET FENCE. Hanging on the fence is a scrap of a ROPE NET. PLUCKY (cont) -- be? Sufferin' succotash! The footprints all stop... right here! Something's rotten in Denmark! HAMTON You'd better believe something's rotten! Look! Those guys were kidnapped by someone! Look at this... it's a piece of a net! Maybe they were captured by someone who wants to ransom them for a lot of money! TRUCK IN -- FAVOR PLUCKY PLUCKY A lot of money, huh? The logithtics point to one person! Person in the loosest sense of the term, of course. EXT - MONTANA MAX'S HOME As usually depicted, with HAMTON and PLUCKY at FRONT DOOR. CLOSE ON PLUCKY'S HAND He rings MONTY'S DOORBELL. SFX: "MON-EEE" MONTY (O.S.) (irritated) Hold yer horses! I'm comin'! I'm comin'! ANGLE ON PLUCKY AND HAMTON They stand in front of the DOOR from back view. Plucky is standing in such a way that when the door opens, it will flatten him. PLUCKY (authoritarian) And come quietly! Anything you say will be used -- ANGLE ON FRONT DOOR AREA, HAMTON, AND PLUCKY MONTANA MAX enters the scene by opening the door outward very quickly, smashing Plucky against the OUTER WALL of the house. Hamton jumps back apace when he sees the door coming. SFX: SLAM! A beat. TRUCK OUT a little. Having heard the noise, MONTY pulls back the door to reveal a beaten Plucky with his beak again sideways. CLOSE ON PLUCKY PLUCKY (cont) (dazed) -- against you! Sheesh! Plucky turns his beak rightside up. Then with a thud, he falls to the ground. MUSIC UP IN LOUD FLOURISH. SFX: THUD! ANGLE ON MONTY, HAMTON, AND PLUCKY Monty looks down at fallen Plucky as Hamton looks on. MONTANA (angry) Be more careful, Poirot! You almost dented my door! Doors cost money, ya know! A beat as he looks around impatiently. MONTANA Well, whaddaya want? ANGLE ON PLUCKY, as seen from the rear. He looks at Monty (who we see from Plucky's perspective). PLUCKY (in a beaten voice) Don't try to deny it! Hic! Plucky hiccups and bubbles shoot up. PLUCKY (cont) You're too cheap to hire employees, so now you've started stealing them! Hic! Bubbles shoot up again. Then Montana sticks his face against Plucky's. MONTANA Stealing them? Whaddaya mean, stealing them! I don't have the faintest idea what you're talking about! CLOSE ON PLUCKY PLUCKY Don't play innocent with me! Just five minutes ago, there were five Porky Pigs walking the streets around here, and now there's only one! Pretty sneaky! But you're no match for me! ANGLE ON MONTY As he names the following attributes, he counts on his fingers. MONTANA There never was more than one of that stuttering slob! And if there were more, I didn't swipe any of 'em, anyway! I may greedy, cheap, stingy, amoral and unscrupulous, but I am not a crook! Well, not in this episode. ANGLE ON HAMTON, WATCHING THE OTHERS As he looks on, bewildered and blinking occasionally, we see Plucky and Montana in SILHOUETTE leaning in and out of the scene into each other's faces. PLUCKY You're wrong! MONTANA I'm right! PLUCKY Wrong! MONTANA Right! PLUCKY Wrong! MONTANA Right! PLUCKY Wrong! MONTANA Right! PLUCKY Wrong... uh, Right! CLOSE ON PLUCKY. He looks confidently at the camera. PLUCKY (quietly) Pretty suave of the little green duck, hmmm? Now by cartoon law, he'll have to say... ANGLE ON PLUCKY AND MONTANA, continuing to argue. MONTANA Wrong! PLUCKY Right! MONTANA Wrong! Plucky wiggles his EYEBROWS at the "fourth wall" as the argument continues. PLUCKY Right! MONTANA Wrong! PLUCKY I'm right! You're not a crook, just like you said! CLOSE ON MONTY MONTANA Fine! Have it your way, duck! CLOSE ON MONTY'S HAND He's pushing a button on the side of the DOOR. ANGLE ON PLUCKY AND HAMTON They stand on MONTY'S DOORMAT. Suddenly, doormat opens into square hole in pavement. Plucky and Hamton linger for a moment in thin air. PLUCKY Could it be I went wrong somewhere? After hanging in air for a minute, they shoot downwards. INT. UNDERGROUND TUNNEL We look up out of a dark, featureless underground tunnel beneath Monty's doormat as PLUCKY AND HAMTON hurtle towards the camera. Hamton yells as Plucky looks up in the direction from which they fell. PLUCKY You'll hear from my lawyer! WIDE ANGLE ON ENTIRE TUNNEL IN CROSS-SECTION-TYPE VIEW - ESTABLISHING The tunnel is shaped like a "V". Plucky and Hamton descend down the left side painfully. They hit a TRAMPOLINE at the bottom, then roll up the other side. EXT - A DARK ALLEY SOMEWHERE IN ACME ACRES - ESTABLISHING There's a MANHOLE on the sidewalk with a GARBAGE CAN next to a BUILDING nearby. Nothing happens. A beat. Suddenly the manhole bursts open, Plucky and Hamton shoot out, and they land in the garbage can, Plucky first, Hamton on top of him. CLOSE ON HAMTON coming from can. Plucky is not visible. HAMTON It seems we're not wanted there. PLUCKY (dazed) What was your first clue? ANGLE ON TRASH CAN Plucky leaps out, and pulls Hamton out after him. Then they begin to walk along again. PLUCKY Well, every good detective has something else up his sleeve! So what if Monty didn't steal them? Somebody did! And I aim to find out! HAMTON How about the Big Bad Wolf? PLUCKY He's contracted to Disney! He might get sued if he even tried it! PAN RIGHT to follow our heroes as Plucky strides along, followed by Hamton in a more timid fashion. PLUCKY There's only one thing to do! If we're gonna find out where those pigs are, we've gotta ask guys who might know! HAMTON Plucky, one small question... what do you mean? ANGLE ON PLUCKY He stumbles in circles, grasping at the air and looking disgusted. PLUCKY What do you think I mean? I mean retired stars of those old Looney Tunes! Anybody else whose appearances got colorized! Where their doppelgangers are, so are Porky's! TRUCK IN ON HAMTON. He is mystified. PLUCKY (O.S.) Every senior citizen cat, dog and chicken in Acme Acres! HAMTON And where are they? ANGLE ON PLUCKY Very determined, he reaches for Hamton, pulls him THROUGH SHOT and out. PLUCKY The Acme Acres Retirement Home, where else? Come along, hambrain! We have work to do! FADE IN: EXT. ACME ACRES RETIREMENT HOME - ESTABLISHING It's a big, mansion-looking building with an enormous GATEWAY and a castle-like DOOR. Off to the left, we see just the edge of a fenced-in SWIMMING POOL. There is a big GATE at the entrance, where Plucky and Hamton stand. ANGLE ON HAMTON AND PLUCKY They stand at the gate. BRICK COLUMNS flank either side of gate. On the right-hand column we see a DOORBELL, which Plucky rings. MUSIC UP: The seven opening notes of "Merrily we Roll Along" (the Merrie Melodies theme song), as enunciated in doorbell-like tones. PLUCKY (huffy) Well, where is somebody? They've gotta have somebody to open the gates, goodness knows! With time, goodness knows, they'll have no visitors! HAMTON (cautious) Uh... Plucky... ANGLE ON THE GATE FROM HAMTON'S VIEW We see a WALKWAY which trails back a few feet, then goes up over a slight INCLINE; beyond that, nothing is visible. ZOOM IN on a large, foreboding shadow slowly grows over the hill. HAMTON (O.S.) Plucky, someone's coming! PLUCKY (O.S.) (impatient) Well, it's about time! I'm not about to wait all day, goodness knows I won't do that! HAMTON (O.S.) (cautious) Be c-c-careful what you say, Plucky! He may not be friendly! He -- ANOTHER ANGLE ON THE INCLINE From nowhere comes EGGHEAD, early Warner Bros. character. He's a short, odd little fellow with a red "parp" nose, a high STARCHED COLLAR, flat FEET, a red toupee, and carrying a large VIOLIN CASE. He has big white eyeballs with blue-rimmed pie-cut pupils inside. [Note: "Egghead" appeared in "Egghead Rides Again" (1937), "A Lad in Bagdad" (1938), "Daffy Duck and Egghead" (1938) and "Count Me Out" (1938) among other cartoons. He has the distinctly strange mannerisms of Joe Penner, a 1930s radio comedian, and a slurred manner of high-pitched, drawling speech.] EGGHEAD (singing) Oh, the merry go round broke down! And it made the darndest sound! Dum dum dum dum, duh-dum dum dum, duh-dum diddle dum dum dum. Hai-LO! Anybody here? ANOTHER ANGLE ON EGGHEAD. A beat. TRUCK IN slowly. EGGHEAD (cont) (squeaking) Huh, huh, huh. Every day, the same thing! Everybody rings this bell 'xpectin' me t' come, and when I do, they just head out! It drives me CA-RAZY! ANGLE ON EGGHEAD He approaches the gate. Not sure what to make of him, Plucky and Hamton have edged away a few feet. When Egghead reaches the gate, he doesn't see them at first. EGGHEAD Ain't nobody here? Huh, huh, huh! Doggone it! I've been suh-windled! Thar ain't nobody here again! Nobody here but... He sees Plucky, who has returned to the gate, and stops short. CLOSE ON ONE SECTION OF GATE Egghead pushes it open somewhat and looks out at Plucky, who is staring at him, eye to eye. They both blink several times at once. SFX: XYLOPHONE BLINKING SOUND (a la Wile E. Coyote). ANGLE ON EGGHEAD AND PLUCKY They both look at each other from different angles at once, sort of as if Egghead is Plucky's "reflection" in a mirror. Plucky turns his head upside down, so does Egghead. SFX: TROMBONE WAH. Finally PLUCKY'S HAND comes forth very slowly and suddenly honks EGGHEAD'S NOSE. ANGLE ON GATE AREA Plucky and Hamton are both visible, Hamton toward extreme right of frame. In response to having his nose honked, Egghead is running around in circles wildly as Plucky stumbles back. EGGHEAD (wildly gibbering) Egghead's stream of gibberish stops as he hides behind one of the brick columns. CLOSE ON BRICK COLUMN Egghead's face very slowly comes from behind the post. He blinks twice -- SFX: XYLOPHONE BLINKING SOUND. PULL BACK as he very slowly walks up to Plucky. BEGIN TO FAVOR PLUCKY Plucky looks very strangely at Egghead, trying to size him up. Suddenly, Egghead sticks his face far into Plucky's. While he says the following, he sticks his face slowly but much farther into Plucky's, as Plucky moves backwards into a rather uncomfortable position. EGGHEAD (serious in his silly way) Don't ever DOOO-OO that! CLOSE ON PLUCKY PLUCKY (cynically) One of your intellectual types, here. ANGLE ON EGGHEAD EGGHEAD Hai-llo, folks! My name's Egghead! Egghead acts as if he's going to tip his hat, but his entire head and neck come off and he tips that instead, putting it back in after. SFX: COO-COO! PLUCKY I believe it. WIDER ANGLE ON ALL THREE AND SURROUNDINGS EGGHEAD Anythaing I can help ya with? I'm the watchman here! I'm also the janitor, cook, office boy, you name it, I do it! ANGLE ON PLUCKY AND HAMTON PLUCKY Well, I'm here to find Porky Pig's old co- stars! Are they here? You know... the guys who got... ANGLE ON PLUCKY AND EGGHEAD. Plucky leans into Egghead's face as he slowly says -- PLUCKY COLORIZED! EGGHEAD (excited) Woo! Woo! Woo! Excited, Egghead's feet "skitter" back and forth. EGGHEAD (O.S.) (thoughtfully) Now let's see, they're here somewhere! Huh, huh, huh. Walk this way! ANGLE ON EGGHEAD, HAMTON, AND PLUCKY Egghead shuffles away from the camera in his usual fashion, followed by Plucky, walking the same way, and Hamton, also walking the same way. Plucky turns back briefly to the camera. PLUCKY I bet you didn't think I'd do it. Egghead lets go of the gate, which slams back into Plucky just before he's gotten out of its reach. He is thrown to the ground. WIDE ANGLE ON ALL Egghead and Hamton run to Plucky's aid. HAMTON (excited) Plucky! Plucky! Are you all right? CLOSE ON PLUCKY He arises with his beak on correctly. Birds, stars and comets swirl around him, His eyes are large and rolling in a daze. PLUCKY (like Jerry Colonna) Greetings, Gate! Let's hallucinate! Thinking his beak is on wrong, Plucky reaches up and turns it sideways. After waiting a moment, he falls over, out cold. ANGLE ON PLUCKY, HAMTON AND EGGHEAD Rear shot of the three walking towards the building. Plucky is stumbling slightly. Just as they approach the LARGE CASTLE-LIKE DOOR to the building, two identical twin dogs scoot in from the right at incredibly fast speed. They are HAM AND EX from "I Haven't Got a Hat" (1935). ANGLE ON HAM AND EX. They stop, hold, and sing. MUSIC: "I HAVEN'T GOT A HAT" (PLAY THROUGH TO END) HAM AND EX (together, in song) I'd tip my hat for you / I'd do just that I'd tip my hat for you / but I haven't got a hat. ANGLE ON PLUCKY, HAMTON, AND EGGHEAD Plucky begins to get restless. HAM AND EX (CONT, O.S.) I'm just a college boy / Even at that I'd tip my hat for you / But I haven't got a hat. WIDER ANGLE ON PLUCKY, HAM AND EX He waves his hand in front of Ham and Ex's EYES, but they don't react... they don't even blink. As they keep singing, Plucky jumps up and down, claps his hands together, shouts, but nothing seems to faze them. HAM AND EX (cont) I'd like to wear a cap, as you can plainly see. But if I did try that, They wouldn't let me back in the university. A CHICKEN with a WHEELBARROW (he's drawn in the 1930s style) walks past Plucky. Plucky picks up the still-singing Ham and Ex and tosses them, like chunks of bric-a-brac, into the wheelbarrow as the chicken pushes it offstage. HAM AND EX (cont) I think you're swell, I do, I'm standing pat. I'd tip my hat for you / But I haven't got a hat. MUSIC UP -- CLOSE ON EGGHEAD He offers a KEY to the door's LOCK. The lock opens its "mouth" and bites down on the key, at which point the door opens. TRUCK INTO INT - ACME ACRES RETIREMENT HOME. A hotel-type LOBBY filled with many pie-eyed cartoon characters from early Warners' cartoons. There's OWL JOLSON from "I Love to Singa" (1936), W. C. SQUEALS from "At Your Service, Madame" (1936), many PIGS, DOGS, GOATS, AND CHICKENS, some in "black-and-white" and others in color, running around the huge lobby, some playing INSTRUMENTS (or each other), all really whooping it up in true 1930s style. Egghead is gone and not seen again until further mention. A few beats. CLOSE ON PLUCKY -- HEAD AND SHOULDERS ONLY He is holding out a vast, silver WARNER BROS. LOGO and looking very fierce. A beat. MUSIC: "THEME FROM DRAGNET" WIDE ANGLE ON CARTOON CHARACTERS IN RETIREMENT HOME LOBBY They collectively gasp and immediately grow still. ANOTHER ANGLE ON PLUCKY He takes the logo, pitches it away (SFX: TINKLE!) and gets a sheepish look on his face. PLUCKY Let's just say I like to make a big entrance, okay? ANGLE ON PLUCKY AND SURROUNDINGS A little BLACK-AND-WHITE MOUSE scurries up to Plucky. He's wearing a Sniffles-style outfit and is almost nauseatingly cute. CLOSE ON PLUCKY AND MOUSE The Mouse jabbers excitedly as Plucky gets more and more irritated. MOUSE Oh, golly gee! You're a big F. B. I. man, on a big exciting case, I beeettttcha! Can I help you Mr. F. B. I. man Sir, can I help you, can I help you? I'm sure I'd be a lot of help to you, you're so big and powerful and strong that if a big bad crook saw you, I think he'd just run for the hills, I beeetttcha! Can I be your helper, can I? Can I? Can I? Can I? Plucky reaches forward and with a flick of his wrist and an outstretched pointer finger, sends the mouse flying through the air to get lost somewhere in the crowd. ANGLE ON PLUCKY PLUCKY You can't help me here. Where I come from, it's every man for himself to solve mysteries like this! Tell me now, folks, what do you know about... colorizing? WIDE ANGLE ON CROWD All the TWO-TONE TOONS leap into the arms of the COLOR TOONS, shivering. ANGLE ON PLUCKY -- PUSH IN SLOWLY He looks back and forth and waves his hands around as he talks. PLUCKY (disgusted) Come on, now! Hic! BUBBLES shoot out of his mouth. PLUCKY (cont) I'm not out to do that to you! I just want to talk to the guys whose cartoons got colorized... the ones who were in those original black-and-white cartoons with Porky! WIDE ANGLE ON CROWD With a collective sigh, the black-and-white characters get out of the color characters' arms. Some of the characters walk away, leaving a few standing in the room. PUSH IN ON PLUCKY AND HAMTON One character, a goat who is the size and general shape of Porky in black-and-white, comes to the front of the room. This is GABBY GOAT, who appeared in some early Porky films. ANGLE ON GABBY AND PLUCKY -- FAVOR GABBY Gabby Goat walks up to Plucky. PLUCKY Well, who are you? CLOSE ON GABBY PLUCKY I'm Gabby Goat. I was in some o' Porky's cartoons... not that it mattered. ANGLE ON PLUCKY PLUCKY Go on, go on! Did your appearances get colored? GABBY (O.S.) Yeah, yeah, some of 'em did. WIDE ANGLE ON PLUCKY, GABBY, AND HAMTON A few other cartoon characters walk by in the background. PLUCKY And what happened? Did they draw a new Toon to act in your role? GABBY Naah, I was one o' the lucky ones. They didn't need to do that to me. Why, I had a cousin, Gerald, who already looked a lot like me. What's more, he was born after they started making color cartoons, so he was already in color. ANGLE ON GABBY, PLUCKY, AND HAMTON -- FAVOR HAMTON Plucky is starting to get excited. PLUCKY Oh, boy! Oh, boy! Now we're starting to get somewhere! What happened to your cousin after he acted in those remakes? CLOSE ON GABBY GABBY (maudlin) Well, he called me from somewhere where those pictures were being made and then... and then... and then I didn't see him for ten years! Gabby pulls out a SPOTTED HANDKERCHIEF and blows his nose into it. SFX: HOOOOOONK! Plucky moves INTO SHOT, patting Gabby on the back. PLUCKY (sympathetically) Aw, don't take it so hard! That's where I come in... I want to find where all those actors went after they acted in those pictures! CLOSE ON GABBY He brightens up. GABBY Well, why didn't ya say so? You can come and ask my cousin right now! He came here when he found his way back, after all! Whattaya think? CLOSE ON PLUCKY PLUCKY Thwell! Hic! Bubbles shoot out of his mouth. PLUCKY (cont) Let's go! INT -- HALLWAY IN ACME ACRES RETIREMENT HOME It's a generic hallway with room doors on either side. This is a perspective shot as PLUCKY, HAMTON, and GABBY walk down the hallway away from us. A beat. Suddenly, a DOOR on the right opens. EGGHEAD enters the room, whistling "The Merry-Go-Round Broke Down" and carrying his violin case. A beat. ANGLE ON EGGHEAD - CAMERA FOLLOWS HIM Egghead walks through the scene in front of Plucky, Hamton and Gabby. Without once looking at anybody, he just walks through the scene, opens the DOOR ON THE OPPOSING SIDE OF THE HALLWAY and exits. EXT -- RETIREMENT HOME'S SWIMMING POOL A standard large pool with a DIVING BOARD. Around the pool we see many cartoon characters. HAM AND EX are swimming in the pool. TOMMY TORTOISE (from "I Haven't Got a Hat") is lying on his back in the water, with a SAILBOAT-TYPE SAIL strapped to his belly which he is blowing with an electric fan. DOPEY THE GORILLA (from "Porky's Moving Day" (1936)) is jumping up and down on the diving board, which breaks causing the poor sap to fall into the water. ABNER THE MOUSE BOXER from "The Country Mouse" (1935) is punching a PUNCHING BAG near poolside, while BEANS CAT is watching him and playing his HARMONICA. A WOLF in SHAKESPEARIAN DRESS (from "Hamateur Night," (1939)) is standing by the side of the pool, holding a SCRIPT, as TOMATOES hit him. We linger on this "peaceful" scene for about ten seconds. PUSH IN as HAMTON, PLUCKY, AND GABBY walk in on the path. They approach the Wolf. ANGLE ON PLUCKY, GABBY, HAMTON, AND WOLF - FAVOR WOLF WOLF (pompously) To be, or not to be, that is the... A TOMATO hits the Wolf. SFX: SPLAT! ANGLE ON GABBY AND WOLF GABBY Hiya, Shakespeare! Have you seen my cousin? WOLF (British accent) Why, come to think of it, I have. He was swimming here before and he left to go back to his room. Pardon me, my good fellow. To be, or not to be. That is... TRUCK OUT TO INCLUDE PLUCKY AND HAMTON -- FAVOR PLUCKY A TOMATO hits the Wolf. SFX: SPLAT! PLUCKY This is getting to be a habit. A TOMATO hits Plucky. SFX: SPLAT! He aggressively shouts in the direction from which the tomato flew. PLUCKY (angrily) Very sloppy, Roscoe! You could at least aim your shots, goodness knows! It's not like... TRUCK OUT as EGGHEAD walks INTO SCENE, whistling to himself and carrying his VIOLIN CASE. Hamton, Plucky, Gabby and the Wolf all stop to look at him. The noise around the pool grows silent. He exits to the right, and everybody immediately goes on with what they were doing. ANGLE ON WOLF AND GABBY WOLF To be, or not to be, that is... A TOMATO shoots toward him (SFX: WINDY WHISTLE). He ducks, and it hits GABBY who being in black and white looks unusual with the color tomato dripping off of him. Gabby explodes with disgust. GABBY Whattaya mean, hitting me with a tomato, yuh big sap? I get paid twenty dollars a day on retirement pension -- PUSH IN ON GABBY GABBY (cont) -- but it doesn't include the tomatoes, stupid! Another tomato hits Gabby. GABBY (strangled cursing) TRUCK OUT TO WIDE-ANGLE SHOT OF POOLSIDE as Plucky and Hamton drag Gabby away, yelling and kicking. PLUCKY Ahem! Come, now! Let's go see your cousin! Gabby comes down somewhat and willingly walks along with Plucky and Hamton, although he's still muttering unintelligibly. In the distance, another tomato hits the Wolf just before this scene ends. WOLF Raw-thuh! That's the fortieth one today. I say, it's not proper. MUSIC: "LULU'S BACK IN TOWN" INT. RETIREMENT HOME HALLWAY WIDE ANGLE ON GABBY, HAMTON, AND PLUCKY walking up to one DOOR in the hall, which Gabby knocks on. ANOTHER ANGLE ON DOOR GERALD GOAT, Gabby's cousin, comes out of the door. He looks almost exactly like Gabby except he's in color and just a tad bit taller. He has a green shirt and has yellow fur. TRUCK OUT to show Gabby waiting to greet him. GABBY Gerald, I'd like you to meet... Plucky elbows INTO SHOT and past Gabby. ANGLE ON PLUCKY, GABBY, AND GERALD - FAVOR PLUCKY PLUCKY Hiya, Gerald! Plucky Duck's the name. I'm here to ask you a few questions about those remade cartoons ya acted in a few years back. GERALD Sure! CLOSE ON PLUCKY PLUCKY Okay, then. What happened to you after the filming was over? CLOSE ON GERALD We TRUCK OUT as he turns away from the camera, opens the door all the way, walks into HIS ROOM and sits down in a CHAIR inside. The camera follows him. By the end of the shot, he's again looking at the camera. INT. GERALD'S ROOM - ESTABLISHING. It's a fairly standard room such as one finds in a hotel or retirement home, with few distinguishing characteristics. A PICTURE of two BOXING GOATS is on the back wall. GERALD It's about time someone asked that. I was the only Toon in those films who really was a relative of the original actor. CLOSE ON PLUCKY AND HAMTON Plucky leaps forward in excitement. PLUCKY Well, don't spare the details! Hic! Bubbles shoot out of his mouth. PLUCKY (cont) Who were the others in those films? CLOSE ON GERALD GERALD They were Toons drawn specially for the occasion! Of course, after the films were made, they wanted to come back to Acme Acres and live here with us. But that ain't what happened. PLUCKY (O.S.) Oh joy, oh joy! Now we're getting somewhere! Hoo, hoohoo! GERALD'S POV - he looks at Plucky, Hamton and Gabby. GERALD We were all getting a bus to Acme Acres when whaddaya know, the thing was hi-jacked! HAMTON Gee, who did it? A crook? Plucky nudges Hamton irritatedly. PLUCKY Hmmm, could be! ANGLE ON GERALD He looks wistfully upward as he talks. GERALD Some black-and-white Toons drove us to a big, abandoned building. CLOSE ON PLUCKY PLUCKY (happily excited) Holy Cannoli! This is right out of Batman! GERALD (O.S.) They kept us there for ten years. SWISH PAN to Hamton. HAMTON Well, what did they want you to do for them? WIDE ANGLE ON ALL CHARACTERS IN THE ROOM GERALD Funny thing! They wanted us to invent some color paint that would stick to them! They wanted to be in color like we were, and remake their old cartoons in color! CLOSE ON PLUCKY He has big, empty eyes as he looks excitedly at (offscreen) Gerald. GERALD (O.S.) I guess they must have been in some of the old Looney Tunes that didn't get colored! FAST TRUCK OUT to show the characters around Plucky, as Plucky himself suddenly leaps into the air with excitement. Then he dances around Gerald's room, knocking VARIOUS UNSPECIFIED OBJECTS over. PLUCKY (happily excited) I have it, I have it! CLOSE ON GERALD AND PLUCKY Gerald grabs Plucky and forces him to slow down. GERALD Wait a minute, I'm not through! ANOTHER ANGLE ON GERALD GERALD Then one day, I was mixing some paint with the other Toons when I made some remark about not having been created just for these new color cartoons. SLOW TRUCK OUT TO REVEAL OTHERS GERALD (cont) When the boss heard that, he sure was surprised! He said that he had nothing against me -- but THEN he threw me out so hard that I was out cold for a day! ANGLE ON PLUCKY AND GERALD PLUCKY (with sympathy) Nothin' against you? Yeah, I bet! Oh, my achin' head! ANGLE ON PLUCKY, HAMTON AND GERALD GERALD When I woke up, I couldn't remember where the building was, no matter how hard I tried. PLUCKY (disgusted) Oh, of course there's a wrinkle like that in the plot! ON ALL FOUR TOONS GERALD And this morning, the strangest thing happened. The pigs who played Porky in those remakes called me up to say they'd escaped and were coming to meet me. But they never showed up. ANGLE ON PLUCKY He leaps into the air amid exaggerated beams of light sort of like Duck Dodgers in the 24th Century. PLUCKY (vindictive glee) Aaaah, HAAAAAH! It all comes together now! As Plucky hangs frozen in midair, EGGHEAD walks THROUGH SCENE with his VIOLIN CASE, still oblivious to everyone around him. Plucky lingers in midair until Egghead is gone, when he drops down and lands on his fanny. SFX: HONK! ANGLE ON PLUCKY, sitting on the floor PLUCKY Do all the old characters from your old black and white cartoons still live here? CLOSE ON GABBY, looking thoughtfully at nothing. GABBY Oh, no! Not all of them. WIDE ANGLE ON ALL PLUCKY (happily excited) Oh, bruh-THER! Have I got a hunch?! Suddenly, Plucky leaps off and runs out the DOOR with such speed that the others are spun in circles. ANGLE ON GABBY, GERALD, AND HAMTON The trio rather nervously look toward the door through which Plucky disappeared. Gabby turns to Hamton. GABBY How long has he been feeling this way? HAMTON He's always like that. And you know what? I think he has an idea. TRUCK OUT TO WIDER ANGLE The three get up to run after Plucky, but stop at the doorway to Gerald's room; EGGHEAD crosses INTO SHOT in front of them, and when he's gone, they run again. EXT - MOTH-EATEN BUILDING SOMEWHERE IN ACME ACRES - NIGHT It's a brick building several stories tall with a big chimney on top. There are balconies and fire escapes on some of the higher floors. The building's rather run-down -- it was a hotel once, but it's been a long time since anyone lived there legitimately. PLUCKY races INTO SHOT and screeches to a halt. A moment later, HAMTON, GABBY, and GERALD all come in behind him, and crash right into him. Plucky is knocked to the ground. A moment later, he comes up with BEAK sideways. A beat. ANGLE ON PLUCKY AND HAMTON HAMTON I'm sorry, Plucky! Are you hurt? Plucky fixes his beak. PLUCKY (weary) Not so you'd notice. ANGLE ON ALL CHARACTERS PLUCKY Every day on my way to Acme Loo, I pass this place! It's always been boarded up, but there's always been smoke coming out of the chimney. HAMTON So why haven't you knocked on the door? PLUCKY Call it a phobia, okay? GERALD So why are we here? PLUCKY (proudly) Well, let it suffice to say that I think I know what's going on in there. CLOSE ON HAMTON HAMTON So what do you mean? Plucky intrudes on the close-up, shoving INTO SHOT and leaning up against Hamton. PLUCKY So what do you think I mean, hambrain? The colorizing! That's where all those Porkys escaped from, and that's where somebody took them back, and I think I know who. CLOSE ON PLUCKY'S HAND He knocks on the DOOR OF THE BUILDING (SFX: QUIET KNOCKS). A beat. FAST TRUCK OUT TO WIDE-ANGLE reveals Plucky very clearly in the path of the door (so that when it opens, it will hit him). Out of the door's way are Gabby and Gerald, standing together. Hamton stands behind them. PLUCKY (commanding) Open the door, bub, and I do mean -- The door is suddenly opened by a FIGURE shrouded in shadow. Plucky is violently sandwiched between the fully opened door and the WALL of the building (SFX: CLANG). He emerges from behind the door dazed, with his beak sideways. PLUCKY (beaten) -- you. Plucky faints, out cold. SFX: PLOP! ANGLE ON GABBY, GERALD, AND DOORWAY PUSH IN. Accompanied by organ chords, a tall man in formal concert dress, THE MAD MUSICIAN from "Buddy the Detective" (1934), rendered here as a Two-Tone, steps out of the door. He stands there for a moment. Looking down at Gabby and Gerald, his EYES grow huge (SFX: AH-OO-GAH!). ANGLE ON MAD MUSICIAN MUSIC UP. Immediately the Mad Musician races back into the building and slams the door behind him (SFX: SLAM!). CLOSE ON PLUCKY, reviving PLUCKY Would anybody care to tell me what happened? CLOSE ON HAMTON -- PLUCKY'S POV HAMTON Well, the guy inside that building wouldn't let us in -- and he was black and white! ANGLE ON ALL PLUCKY Then I'm on the right track. But if he won't let us in, we'll have to go down the chimney. PUSH IN ON GABBY GABBY (muttering as usual) I knew this was impossible. All the time people think things are great, but when you get right down to it, nothing works out. Erk! Plucky yanks Gabby back by his shirt collar. SWISH PAN to Plucky and PUSH IN on him. PLUCKY All's not lost yet! Hic! Bubbles shoot out of his mouth. PLUCKY Going down the chimney will be EASY! All we need to do is form a human ladder! WIDE ANGLE ON TOONS AND BUILDING The characters climb on each other's shoulders, swaying around dangerously near the EDGE OF THE BUILDING'S WALL. We have Plucky on top, then Gabby and Gerald, then Hamton on the bottom. HAMTON I don't know about this, Plucky. GABBY It's not gonna work, it's not gonna work, its not gonna work, it's -- ANGLE ON GERALD, pointing upward toward rooftop GERALD Look! The top of the building is twenty feet over our heads. How'll we ever reach it? On top of each other, we still aren't anywhere as big as it is. SLOW PAN UPWARD to Plucky, on Gerald's shoulders. PLUCKY There's only one thing to do. You know how logic works in these cartoons, right? Well, Hamton, get out from under Gabby, and climb up onto my shoulders. And NOBODY LOOK DOWN! WIDE ANGLE ON ALL We get a clear view of this "human ladder." As Gabby, Gerald and Plucky all look up, whistling and sweating with worry, Hamton very gingerly climbs above them. Gabby lingers in midair at bottom, solely because he refuses to look down. CLOSE ON HAMTON He has reached the top of the ladder, and wipes his sweaty brow with relief. HAMTON Whew! I did it! Okay, Gabby, your turn! WIDE ANGLE ON ALL In turn, all the characters climb up onto each other's shoulders without falling, even though there's only thin air under them. A few beats. ANGLE ON TOP OF BUILDLING Finally, our heroes have succeeded. Plucky, on top of the stack, has his hands on the EDGE OF THE ROOF. MUSIC UP - a beat. CLOSE ON PLUCKY PLUCKY (happily excited) I did it! Okay, hambrain, climb over me! CLOSE ON HAMTON, hanging in midair. Gabby is on his shoulders. HAMTON Okay, Plucky! Just wait 'til I tie my shoelaces. Hamton looks down. HAMTON Whoops, I forgot, I don't even wear -- PUSH IN. Hamton's eyes grow huge in the best Tex Avery manner. SFX: AH-OO-GAH! ANGLE ON THE TWENTY-FOOT DROP TO THE GROUND - HAMTON'S POV A few beats. The view starts to get blurry and out of focus. ANGLE ON ALL Hamton is now under the force of gravity and is exerting quite a pull on Gabby, who's just holding on. HAMTON Gabby! Do something! Do something! GABBY Okay, Hamton, I... Gabby looks down. A beat. A moment later, he too is heavy. ANGLE ON GERALD Gerald looks down after Gabby and now weighs his normal wait. ANGLE ON ALL While Plucky restrains from looking down, the others struggle to hang on. They are all yelling and causing chaos. SFX: YELLS. Finally, they all struggle to the top of the building safely. ANGLE ON PLUCKY AND HAMTON - FAVOR PLUCKY PLUCKY (sarcastically) And you got an "A" in Toon Science. HAMTON Well, we all make mistakes! CLOSE ON GABBY GABBY Well, what do we do now? ANGLE ON PLUCKY, waving his fists about. PLUCKY (disgusted) What do you think? Hic! Bubbles come out of Plucky's mouth. PLUCKY (cont) We go down the chimney! What else? Plucky spends a moment looking impatiently around as if he's waiting for somebody to say something. A beat. PLUCKY Well, who's going to go first? Plucky again starts waiting. No cut to other characters! He begins to look nervous. TRUCK OUT SLOWLY to reveal the others standing around him. PLUCKY Well, say something! A beat. Everybody else looks rather menacingly at Plucky. Then Plucky begins to talk, and we PUSH IN slowly. PLUCKY (exasperated) All right, all right already! I thought of it, so I'll go first! Any stupid idiot who had half the IQ points of a rock would know this was the thing to do anyway, goodness knows, and anybody with half the bravery of a sap would step in and try it! All it takes is a little get up and -- Disgusted with Plucky's bragging, everyone else leans INTO SHOT, picks Plucky up and heaves him unceremoniously into the building's CHIMNEY. PLUCKY (cont) -- gooOOO! HAMTON His get up and go got up and went, all right. FADE IN: INT. VILLAINS' HIDEOUT INSIDE BUILDING - DARKENED DINING ROOM There's a DINNER TABLE with a WHITE TABLECLOTH to stage right, and one ELEGANT-LOOKING CHAIR. To the left is an OLD-FASHIONED BRICK FIREPLACE. A beat. PUSH IN - FOCUS ON FIREPLACE Plucky falls down the chimney and lands in the fireplace with a dull thud, causing a huge CLOUD OF DUST to materialize briefly around him. SFX: THUD! A beat. The moment the dust cloud dissipates enough to see, Hamton falls down the chimney on top of Plucky. CLOSE ON HAMTON AND PLUCKY, who disentangle themselves. PLUCKY (disgusted) Don't you think this is getting to be a habit? Mmmph! Hamton puts his hand over Plucky's mouth. HAMTON (whispering) Keep quiet, Plucky! The people who live here might not want to see us! PLUCKY (quiet, but not quiet enough) Oh, whatever gave you THAT impression? The way they slammed the door? CLOSE ON HAMTON, sitting in fireplace. HAMTON If you forget, that guy who answered the door seemed to know something about Gabby and Gerald! ANGLE ON PLUCKY - HAMTON'S POV HAMTON Whether they like us or not, I think here's where we get the answers to a lot of questions! Plucky leans toward Hamton. PLUCKY That's just why I brought us here! Now I'm just gonna look up the fireplace and call for Gabby and Gerald. CAMERA FOLLOWS PLUCKY as he gets right under the gap in the chimney through which he fell. He cocks his head up and opens his mouth very wide. Cupping his hand around the edge of his mouth, he says: PLUCKY (calling quietly) Yoo-hoo, Gabby! Come dow-own! Gabby drops down the chimney rear-end first to land in Plucky's open beak. SFX: HONK! GERALD That you, Plucky? Plucky replies as best he can, given that he has Gabby's fanny in his mouth. PLUCKY (muffled) Who elthe? WIDE ANGLE ON FIREPLACE Plucky climbs out, followed by Hamton. As they talk, Gabby comes partially out, then leans back in, reaching out to catch Gerald as he falls. PLUCKY Come on! We don't have a second to lose! GABBY (muttering) I'm comin'! I'm comin'! Guys can accept it when someone else climbs down this chimney slowly, but when I come down it's "Gabby, come on," and "Gabby, hurry up!" That's gratitude for yuh! HAMTON Shhh! THE CAMERA FOLLOWS OUR HEROES towards a HALLWAY with a bit of LIGHT coming from it. Just as they approach the hall, they stop. ANGLE ON EGGHEAD, walking out and past the others, lifting his head like a hat as before (SFX: COO-COO!), and carrying his VIOLIN CASE. The others stare in the direction he went and blink (SFX: XYLOPHONE BLINKING SOUND). A beat. ANGLE ON ALL They continue on and enter the hallway, then walk out of view. INT. VILLAINS' HIDEOUT INSIDE BUILDING - DARKENED HALLWAY ANGLE ON ALL A back view of the four sneaking down the hall. Several beats so we can absorb the scene; then we see Hamton lean over towards Plucky. HAMTON Why do the bad guys' hideouts always have such long hallways? CLOSE ON PLUCKY PLUCKY It's just a script-writer's hangup, Hamton. Goodness knows they use up less animation just showing us walking in the same positions all the time! ANGLE ON ALL The group continues to sneak along the hallway. PLUCKY (cont) So the more time that the audience sees us walking through this hall, the less money it costs them to animate us and the more goes into my paycheck. HAMTON Does somebody pay you to say that? PLUCKY Well, I've got an option coming up. ERK! ANGLE ON PLUCKY AND HAMTON Plucky falls through a TRAP DOOR (or, rather, a large and very obvious gap in the floor). Hamton leaps down to try to grab him, but misses and ends up leaning over the trap door for a minute. TRUCK OUT as Hamton leaps up, hitting Gabby behind him (SFX: HONK!). Then he spins around. HAMTON Plucky's gone! GABBY (sarcastically) Brilliant observation. Let's go find him! MUSIC UP - FADE OUT FADE IN: INT. VILLAINS' HIDEOUT INSIDE BUILDING - CENTRAL ROOM The room looks like an artist's studio with many TOONS inside, all mixing PAINTS. None of the Toons are in black and white, but all have been in colorized Porkys. Each one is manacled with a BALL AND CHAIN to his ARTIST'S STAND. There are DOUBLE DOORS on the back wall. PUSH IN slowly on two Toons in particular. We see KANSAS CITY KITTY, from "We, the Animals Squeak," (1940) as she looked in the colorized print, and also the unnamed (Rochester) MOUSE from "Pied Piper Porky" (1938). MUSIC: FINAL TUNE FROM "A WILD HARE" (1940) SCORE KITTY Begorrah! Another day, another bucket! MOUSE You ain't kiddin', woman! It's enough to make a guy sick! CLOSE ON KITTY KITTY I ask ye, do we really deserve this? Oon meal a day, and it's jest bread an' gruel! Oh, my kilt for a good haggis! And not a single mouse anywhere! MOUSE (O.S.) Watch yoah language, lady! It ain't sanitary! KITTY (embarrassed) Oops, pardon me. Kitty gets a sad look on her face. ANGLE ON KITTY AND MOUSE KITTY (sarcastically) Years and years we've been here! We've been mixing paints for so long, and begorrah! Not one combination worked! None satisfied the boy-y-y-ys on top! REAR ANGLE ON KITTY, MOUSE AND SURROUNDINGS MOUSE (sarcastically) I'se disgusted, puss'nally. Every day, de same thing! KITTY Begorrah, I guess they just weren't painted the same way. CLOSE ON MOUSE MOUSE If dat ain't de truth, I hopes somepin awful fall on me! TRUCK OUT QUICKLY as Plucky falls (SFX: WHAM!) right on top of the Mouse, upsetting the TABLE and POTS OF PAINT. Kitty leaps back in amazement. MOUSE (mimics Fats Waller) Well, wot's de matter wif HIM? ANGLE ON PLUCKY, KITTY, AND MOUSE Plucky straightens up, somewhat dazed, but trying to seem excited. PUSH IN SLOWLY as he splutters out the following. PLUCKY Whoa, BOY! You don't know it, but you're gonna be free! Woo, hoo hoo hoo! KITTY Does this duck look okay to you? MOUSE Twenty-three skidoo! PLUCKY You don't realize it! But I'm gonna get you guys out of here! And nobody's gonna be the wiser! TRUCK OUT SLOWLY to reveal many, many TWO-TONE CARTOON VILLAINS standing around Plucky in a huddle. PLUCKY (sheepish) I could be wrong, you know! MUSIC UP - FADE OUT FADE IN: INT. VILLAINS' HIDEOUT INSIDE BUILDING - DARKENED HALLWAY ANGLE ON HAMTON, GERALD, AND GABBY, who have tied a ROPE to a nearby BANNISTER and are beginning to lower themselves down it through the gap in the floor, through which Plucky fell. HAMTON Every smart pig brings rope with him at all times! You never know when it'll become handy. GERALD For what? CLOSE ON HAMTON HAMTON Lassoing cakes on high shelves! Stopping cattle stampedes! Bridging dangerous gaps in the plot! You name it. ANGLE ON GERALD GERALD But what are we gonna use it for now? ANGLE ON HAMTON, GABBY, AND GERALD - FAVOR HAMTON (HIS POV) HAMTON We aren't just gonna fall through that hole the way Plucky did! CLOSE ON HAMTON, gesturing as he speaks. HAMTON We're gonna be careful about it! We'll climb down and see what Plucky's gotten himself into, and then we'll take action! GABBY'S AND GERALD'S VOICES: Right! WIDE ANGLE ON ALL They jump on the rope, one after another, and briskly slide down it through the gap (which has light coming from it) and out of sight. First Gabby, then Gerald, then Hamton. INT. VILLAINS' HIDEOUT INSIDE BUILDING - CENTRAL ROOM We see the three "rescuers" coming through the gab. GABBY Well, will yuh look at that! POV SHOT with Gabby, Gerald and Hamton looking down at the many paint-mixing colorized Toons. The scene slowly turns and PUSHES IN as they watch them. HAMTON Millions of Toons! And it looks like they're all mixing paints! CLOSE ON GABBY, clinging to rope. GABBY (whispering) Not because they want to. They're all bolted there with balls and chains! Hamton's pointing hand sticks in front of Gabby's nose, brushing by it. SFX: HONK! SWISH PAN to Hamton. HAMTON And look! Those are the doubles of Porky I saw before! WIDE ANGLE ON PORKY DUPLICATES As seen earlier, these are four pigs all who look like early versions of Porky: one c. 1935 (small, round pig), one c. 1936 (bigger, very fat pig) and c. 1938 (Frank Tashlin Porky as in "Wholly Smoke"). Also a close-to-modern Porky (but just a little less refined) c. 1940. PUSH IN on 1935 PORKY. 1935 PORKY And I-I-I thought we h-h-had a way outta here for good!! PAN PAST THE OTHER PORKY DOUBLES 1936 PORKY (lower voice) S-s-so did I! P-P-Phooey! TASHLIN PORKY (higher voice) D-D-Double phooey! And n-n-n-nuh-nuh-Rats! ANGLE ON HAMTON AND GERALD - FAVOR HAMTON. They hang from the rope. HAMTON So I wasn't crazy! They were going to find Porky, and somebody captured them again! GERALD Look! There's Plucky! SWISH PAN down to Plucky, who is now balled-and-chained next to Kansas City Kitty and the Mouse. All are busy mixing paint on the side of the frame. Plucky does not see his friends on the rope above (immediately O.S. to top) HAMTON (O.S.) Somebody tied him up! GERALD (O.S.) You mean BOLTED him up! That chain won't rot and fall off! PUSH IN ON PLUCKY He mixes paint as he talks. Some of it keeps spilling, and he does misc. goofy stuff to keep it from getting it all over the floor but ends up with most of it on his hands. PLUCKY (disgusted) Another fine mess I've gotten myself into! I thought I was smart! Well, don't I take the cake, finding where the bad guys are and then getting caught by 'em! Yeah, I'm really smart! Smart as a doorstop! It just ain't fair! He pounds his FIST on the desk with a thump (SFX: WHAM!), at which one PAINT CAN flies up in the air and lands on his head (SFX: SPLAT!) PLUCKY (bawling idiotically) Wah, hah hah hah! Waaah! ANOTHE ANGLE ON PLUCKY He takes off the paint can, takes out a HANDKERCHIEF, and dries himself off with it. Then he blows his nose in it (SFX: HONK!), at which point he lifts it up and wrings it out into the paint can. About a gallon of paint comes out of it into the can. TRUCK OUT TO MAKE OTHERS VISIBLE Suddenly the Mouse leans over to talk with Plucky. MOUSE Watch yoah step, bud! Heah come de bosses! WIDE ANGLE ON PLUCKY AND SURROUNDINGS Plucky turns his head away from us and watches as the DOUBLE DOOR at back of room opens. First thing that comes out of the door is a big BLAST OF BRIGHT LIGHT, from which a group of large sillhouetted cartoon characters appear, stomping toward the hall. MUSIC: "THE TEDDY BEARS' PICNIC" (IN MINOR KEY; PLAY THROUGH TO END) PLUCKY (awed) Do these guys know how to make an entrance, or what? ANGLE ON THE VILLAINS A group of unsavory Two-Tones marches out through the DOUBLE DOORS and around the room, confronting various CHAINED-UP COLOR CHARACTERS at their ARTISTS' DESKS. The villains themselves include THE MAD MUSICIAN from "Buddy the Detective," (1934), the SMALL BIRD GANGSTER from "One More Time" (1932), the PEG-LEG VILLAIN of "Big Man from the North" (1930), the CONVICT from "Buddy's Beer Garden," (1933), the PIRATE CAPTAIN from "Shanghaied Shipmates" (1935), one of the SAVAGES from "Buddy's Lost World" (1935), the MEAN FARMER from "Gopher Goofy" (1942), the BULL from "Porky's Last Stand" (1940) and the BLACK KNIGHT from "Bosko's Knight-Mare" (1933), all marching straight at the camera and led by SPIKE THE SPIDER, a huge, grotesque and evil monster from "Red-Headed Baby" (1931). Spike is grinding his teeth together (see that cartoon for exact way that this looks). ANGLE ON ONE ARTIST'S DESK AND RUDOLF CAT Rudolf is the house-cat from "Puss 'n' Booty" (1943), here depicted as a color Toon, sitting at a table and chained like the others. SPIKE THE SPIDER lumbers INTO SHOT. PUSH IN ON RUDOLF, who's very nervous Rudolf takes the arachnid's HAND like a manicurist and applies a BLOB OF YELLOW PAINT. After a moment, it drips off. We see Spike push Rudolf's face into the can of paint (SFX: SPLAT!) and stomp away. ANGLE ON ONE ARTIST'S DESK AND DIPPY GOOSE Dippy is from "It's an Ill Wind" (1939). As above, SPIKE THE SPIDER lumbers INTO SHOT. PUSH IN ON DIPPY, who's quite determined Dippy tries applying his RED PAINT to Spike's hand, but it too drops off. Disgusted, Spike picks up DIPPY'S CAN OF PAINT and dumps it on Dippy's head, to his chagrin: then, he marches off. ANGLE ON PLUCKY, KITTY, AND MOUSE PLUCKY May I ask what they're doing? MOUSE Ainnit obvious? Their old cartoons wasn't in culluh! CLOSE ON KITTY KITTY When they found out that the cartoons that were being colorized weren't the ones which they'd acted in, they got angry! ANGLE ON PLUCKY, quite emboldened PLUCKY Oh ho, I get it! And those stupid lunkheads want you color actors to paint some color on them! WIDE ANGLE ON ENTIRE ROOM MOUSE Dat's it, all right! But they is made an awful mistook! KITTY They didn't know that we were hired specially for the new color cartoons. They thought we were the original black-and-white actors, painted in color! MOUSE They didn't know 'at color paint didn't stick to black-and-white Toons. ANGLE ON KITTY, PLUCKY AND MOUSE We can see the air above them (into which Hamton will shortly drop on his rope). PLUCKY (distressed) They still don't know it, I guess! They still think it's the mixture of paint that does it! MOUSE Dat's de ticket, brother! You ain't just whistlin' Dixie! The ROPE lowers into the top part of the frame. Hamton climbs down to Plucky. HAMTON Hi, Plucky! We're gonna help you get outta here! PLUCKY Gee, hambrain, it's good to see ya again! Now how are you gonna -- uh oh! Plucky suddenly looks offscreen. Then he looks back at Hamton. CLOSE ON PLUCKY, nervous PLUCKY Look out! Here come those villains! And they're gonna inspect my paint, oh, me, oh, my! CLOSE ON HAMTON HAMTON Don't worry! Here's something that'll make that paint stick to them! He pulls a BOTTLE OF ACME GLUE out of his pocket, and tosses it to (o.s.) Plucky. ANGLE ON HAMTON AND PLUCKY, FAVOR PLUCKY Hamton climbs quickly back up the rope again as Plucky grabs the glue bottle mischievously. PLUCKY Oh, bruh-ther! It's gonna stick to them all right! Hoo, hoo, hoo! CLOSE ON PLUCKY'S HANDS, hitting the glue bottle so that BIG GLOBS OF GLUE go into his cans of paint. SFX: GLORP! GLORP! ANGLE ON THE VILLAINS Similar to the earlier introductory shot of them confronting various CHAINED-UP COLOR CHARACTERS at their ARTISTS' DESKS. A few beats. MUSIC UP - QUICK DISSOLVES to many different tableaus of Toons getting their paint "tested" and then getting punished in some silly way. PUSH IN a little more for each shot in this melange. ANOTHER ANGLE ON THE VILLAINS They lurch to a stop in front of Plucky's table. PLUCKY (swallows hard) ANGLE ON SPIKE, PEG-LEG VILLAIN, BULL, AND PLUCKY. SPIKE Okay, let's see what you'se got! PEG-LEG Yeah! Haw haaah! BULL (snorting sounds) CLOSE ON PLUCKY, quite nervous PLUCKY You really want to be in color, don't you? Goodness knows, don't you know that you guys are ART FORMS in black and white? PAN OVER CHAINED-UP COLORIZED TOONS. They watch Plucky in admiring awe. PLUCKY (cont) You're a monument to your time! A testament to your traditions! ANGLE ON PLUCKY AND VILLAINS PLUCKY (cont) You ought to be ashamed, trying to do this. If I was in black-and-white, I'd be glad! I'd let these poor Toons go and enjoy life -- they way they ARE! ANGLE ON ALL VILLAINS BUT SPIKE They watch (O.S.) Plucky in stunned silence. PLUCKY (cont) Okay now! Raise your hands if you REALLY want to be in color! A beat. The villains are motionless. PLUCKY I thought so -- ANGLE ON PLUCKY PLUCKY (cont) -- that's using the noggin! CLOSE ON SPIKE The angry spider roars at the top of his furious lungs, slobber flying from his mouth. SPIKE (disgusted) Forget those muggs, duck! I wanna be in color, and I won't REST 'til I AM! ANGLE ON PLUCKY AND SPIKE'S ARM Putting his LEFT HAND, trembling, over his EYES, Plucky dips his PAINTBRUSH into a can of red paint (with glue in it). He gingerly reaches forward to dab a little bit on the spider's arm. As he puts it there, he loses his timidity and begins to enjoy the realization of what's about to happen. A beat. CLOSE ON SPIKE AND PEG-LEG They look at each other in confusion. SPIKE Well? PUSH IN ON SPIKE SPIKE shakes his arm up and down, expecting the paint to drop off. But it doesn't. He looks at his arm very carefully. A beat. SWISH PAN to Peg-Leg. PEG-LEG (amazed) Well, I'll be durned! HE DONE IT! Now I wanna be in color again, TOO! WIDE ANGLE ON VILLAINS They are screaming and cheering, turning somersaults and the like. MUSIC: CELEBRATORY MUSIC ANGLE ON HAMTON, GABBY, AND GERALD They continue to hang on the rope up near the ceiling, looking down excitedly as we continue to hear the villains whooping it up. (SFX: VILLAINS CHEERING) MUSIC: "POWERHOUSE" QUICK DISSOLVES to many different tableaus as Plucky, Kitty and the Mouse paint the various villains with the glue-paint mixture: some scenes in close-up, others in long shots. Also a few shots of Hamton, Gabby and Gerald on the rope and other Toons at desks, their work stopped, looking on and growing increasingly more excited. DISSOLVE TO: CLOSE ON WALL CLOCK The hands turn slowly, revealing that the painting job takes two hours. Somewhere in the middle of the shot, ONE CAN OF PAINT flies up in a graceful arc through the scene, to land with a clatter. MUSIC DOWN ON PLUCKY, KITTY, AND MOUSE They sit at their desks, exhausted and panting. MOUSE We dood it! KITTY Begorrah, we did! PLUCKY And wait 'til they get what's coming to 'em, oh, woo-woo! ANGLE ON VILLAINS They stand, now painted in rather gaudy colors and looking excited. Then suddenly, the PIRATE CAPTAIN gets angry and lurches toward the front of the frame. ANGLE ON PIRATE CAPTAIN PIRATE (disgusted) What does ye mean, "what's comin' to us"? If ye have somethin' up your sleeve, tell it or ye'll walk the plank, matey! CLOSE ON PLUCKY He has an "innocent" look on his face and a halo over his head. PLUCKY Oh, nothing! Nothing but -- THIS! ANGLE ON PLUCKY AND SOME VILLAINS Plucky lurches forward and pushes the pirate into the others, who all fall down in a pile. ANGLE ON VILLAINS PEG-LEG Why, you little rat! BIRD GANGSTER I'll moider da bum! SAVAGE (jungle jibberish) BULL (snorting sounds) Snort! Snort! MOOOO! Wheeze! ANGLE ON BULL, OTHER VILLAINS, AND PLUCKY - FAVOR BULL The Bull attempts to charge at Plucky. But the glue has stuck him to the other villains. The bull races toward the duck, but hits the glue's full tension. A beat. Then he snaps back, and the villains all collapse back into a pile. CLOSE ON VILLAINS They find that they are all stuck to one another and completely helpless. MUSIC: "MERRILY WE ROLL ALONG" - IN MARCH TEMPO ANGLE ON PLUCKY He waves clasped hands over his head as everyone cheers for him. Suddenly Kitty and the Mouse lurch forward INTO SHOT in surprise. ANGLE ON SPIKE, FARMER AND PIRATE CAPTAIN Spike is now a bright red, having been painted. He reaches into his POCKET with his one free hand and takes out an AEROSOL CAN. CLOSE ON AEROSOL CAN. It reads: "Paint Remover." A beat. WIDE ANGLE ON ENTIRE ROOM Many Toons at the desks lurching back in fear, letting out a collective gasp of amazement. (SFX: GASPING CROWD) ANGLE ON HAMTON, GABBY, AND GERALD, hanging on the rope HAMTON I can't look! Hamton puts his hand over his eyes as Gabby and Gerald look down, worried. ANGLE ON SPIKE He sprays the areas of himself which are stuck to the farmer and the pirate, which turn their former black color, but come loose. CAMERA FOLLOWS as he marches over to Plucky and slowly draws his FIST back for a massive sock. CLOSE ON SPIKE He suddenly looks worriedly to the left. SWISH PAN TO LEFT. A HITHERTO-UNNOTICED DOOR opens and in comes EGGHEAD, still whistling and carrying his VIOLIN CASE. He slowly walks past OTHER TOONS and finally stops right in front of Spike. The monster spider lets down his fist to look, stupefied, at Egghead. SPIKE All right, bub, who are you? MUSIC: "ORGAN GRINDER'S SWING" Egghead lifts his head like a hat, as he did before (SFX: COO-COO!). Then he puts it back. ANGLE ON EGGHEAD EGGHEAD Huh, huh, huh! I'm the hero in this picture! ANOTHER ANGLE ON EGGHEAD AND SPIKE Egghead opens his violin case, takes out an ENORMOUS MALLET, and clobbers Spike with it. Spike wobbles and sinks groggily to the FLOOR. WIDE ANGLE ON ENTIRE ROOM Everyone is cheering. Hamton, Gabby and Gerald leap down to where Plucky and Egghead both stand triumphant. CLOSE ON HAMTON AND PLUCKY HAMTON You did it, Plucky, old pal! He slaps Plucky on the back. With a cough (SFX: COUGH!), Plucky spits out the bubble pipe which he swallowed earlier. PLUCKY Thanks, hambrain! It was nuthin'! PLUCKY turns and gives Hamton an enormous sock (in childlike "retribution" for the slap), landing his SNOUT in a BUCKET OF BLUE PAINT. When Hamton takes off the bucket, his snout is blue. MUSIC UP WIPE TO: EXT - MOTH-EATEN BUILDING SOMEWHERE IN ACME ACRES - MORNING WIDE ANGLE SHOT as MILLIONS OF TOONS come streaming out. After they have cleared away, we see the villains, still stuck together (with the rope tied around them) marching out in unison. Behind them we see Plucky, Hamton, Gerald, Gabby (still black and white), Egghead, and the four Porky doubles. PLUCKY Well, that's that! All in a night's work! GABBY Aw, phooey! Did I do anything to help solve the case? I only supplied the evidence everyone else needed. But aw, don't mind me, nobody ever notices me anyway. SLOW FADE TO: EXT - GRASS IN FRONT OF ACME LOO MUSIC: BASIC ACME LOONIVERSITY THEME WIDE ANGLE - PLUCKY and the FOUR PORKY DOUBLES stand with HAMTON, GABBY, GERALD, and PORKY. BUSTER and BABS, both pretty amazed, are off on the edges of the crowd with MARY MELODY and FURBALL. PUSH IN SLOWLY - FAVOR PLUCKY AND PORKY PLUCKY (disgusted) Well, I told you I'd find those colorized Toons! Now that I saved them, they'll lead normal liveth again here in Acme Acres! And, heh, heh, I'm sorry I interrupted your speech yesterday, Porky. ANOTHER ANGLE ON PORKY AND PLUCKY PORKY That's o-o-okay, Plucky. I'm sorry I got so m-m-m-angry at ya. B-b-but one thing for sure, y-y-you're true to your word, all right! ANGLE ON PLUCKY PLUCKY I sure am! Goodness knows, with the world the way it is, someone has to tell the truth now and then! ANGLE ON PORKY AND HIS COLORIZED DOUBLES PORKY (disgusted) Well, w-w-what are you guys gonna do now? TASHLIN PORKY (disgusted) Well, we were hoping to stay at your place. 1936 PORKY At l-l-l-least until w-w-we could b-b-buy a home ourselves. CLOSE ON PORKY PORKY Well, I g-g-guess so, guys. After all, you're r-r-re-re-family, aren't you? ANGLE ON PLUCKY, HAMTON, AND EGGHEAD HAMTON And what about you, Egghead? EGGHEAD Huh, huh, huh. Ah guess it's just back to the retirement home fer me. CLOSE ON EGGHEAD EGGHEAD I seen my duty and done it! Why, huh, huh, I might even get promoted for this! That'd be swell! TRUCK OUT as Egghead turns around. EGGHEAD Orchestra, please! WIDE-ANGLE SHOT as a HATCH opens in the grass and a HUGE ORCHESTRA rises up out of the ground. A CROWD gathers to hear them, mostly composed of OTHER TINY TOONS STARS. DIZZY DEVIL begins eating things. MUSIC: "MERRILY WE ROLL ALONG" (ORCHESTRAL) ANGLE ON PLUCKY AND EGGHEAD PLUCKY I've always wondered how old cartoon characters did that. Oh, well, it must be a gift! He leans over and squeezes Egghead's NOSE. SFX: HONK! PUSH IN on Egghead. EGGHEAD WoooOOOOooo! Wow! Yeow! Wattlawattlawattla! Egghead's FEET jitter around in a bizarre, tap-dancing kind of way. MUSIC OFF FAST TRUCK OUT to reveal the whole crowd turning to watch Egghead's wild reaction. For a moment, all is silent. A beat. PUSH IN SLOWLY on Egghead and Plucky. EGGHEAD (serious in his silly way) Don't ever DO-OOO that! TRUCK OUT to encompass entire area. The orchestra begins playing again as Egghead shrugs, embarrassed at his wild reaction, and looks at Plucky sheepishly. A beat. MUSIC: "MERRILY WE ROLL ALONG" (ORCHESTRAL) - PLAY THROUGH TO END IRIS OUT - INTERRUPTED as GOGO DODO holds the iris open to stick his HEAD through it. EGGHEAD Baaayyyoooooooowhoop! IRIS OUT