Scent-Cement Reason
A Tiny Toon Adventures Fan-Fiction

By Leandro M. Pinto (leandro@generalbrands.com), March 23, 1997.

First off, I want to give my specials thanks to Lee Toop, for his editing
of this story; his revisions and suggestions were very helpfull in improveing the
timing and humor, and the precision of the grammar; to my Pre-Release Revision
Team, composed of Fernanda Z. Pinto, Oriza Martins and Valerie Monteiro; and
to HKUriah, for posting it on the Mailing List.
All the characteres (C) 1997 Warner Bros. Inc, and used without permission.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

	The bell rings announcing the end of the last class of the day. Even
before it stops, Fifi La Fume streaks out of her class in the direction of
the office of Acme Looniversity. Pete Puma, in the Post Office, blinks as a
purple blast stops abruptly at the counter, revealing a smiling little skunk.
	"Monsieur Puma? Did it arrive? Did it arrive?" Fifi asks the janitor,
excited.
	"Let me see, Fifi, wait just a minute." - Pete looks at the board
where the deliveries of the day are listed. - "From Californian Jet
Propulsion Lab, a missile for Calamity... no. From Chuck Jones Enterprises,
a script for Bugs... no. Oh, yes, here it is. I'll get it for you." Pete
soon returns with a package, and hands it to Fifi.
	"Merci, Pete!" The skunk grabs her delivery and runs off again, in
the direction of the Labs. A few moments before she arrives, she sees Hamton
in one of the corridors.
	"Hi, FifiiiIIII!!!" - The skunk grabs her boyfriend by the hand and
drags him 'voluntarily' with her into the lab.
	"How nice you offer yourself to help me with zis, my little
Hamton...", she coos, admiring the package. Hamton drops to the floor,
recovering from the acceleration and aerodynamic drag of Fifi's pull.
	"Yes, Fifi, of course, but... what exactly will I be helping you
with?" - the pig asks, watching Fifi put on an apron. She picks one for
Hamton, too, and straps him into it.
	"Today finally arrived the last and most important ingredient for my
Acme Looniversity Science Fair project of zis year!" Fifi points to the
package, on top of a table.
	"If Buster doesn't do the favour of destroying our projects again,
zat ees..." She makes a face, remembering the destruction. "I know zat I can
win zis year!"
	Hamton looks at the box. There's a label on the top, reading:

Time-Warner - Internal Mail
From:   DC Comics
To:     Fifi La Fume, Acme Looniversity

	The pig holds the packet, and notices that, despite its small size,
it's very heavy; he shakes it next to his ear, but doesn't hear anything.
Fifi takes it and shreds the paper.
	"Zis, Hamton, is a sample of the material zat the DC Comics personnel
uses to make Clayface in the Batman stories!" She shows Hamton the contents
of the box - a light-beige bar of modelling clay, about the size of a VHS
tape. Hamton still looks confused.
	"It's tres simple, mon amour. 'Ave vous seen zat animation where ze
animators use little clay dolls as characters? Zey shape the character with
clay, zey take a picture, and zey reshape the character in ze next pose, and
take another picture, and so on?"
	"Oh, yeah, Fifi! Of course! So you'll make a cartoon in that style,
then? But how will this stuff be helpful?"
	"I will mix zis sample of clay with gypsum and conventional clay
from Acme, to make a paste zat we can use on ourselves to do zat type of
animation in real-time!"
	"Cool, Fifi! Let's do it!"
	"Yes, Hamton. We just need to find the best proportions of each
ingredient to make our superpaste! After that, we can add a few drops of
fixer liquid, to stabilize the mix." Fifi gives Hamton a bit of each type of
clay, and the two begin mixing.

	On the other side of campus, Calamity Coyote was just finishing the
assembly of his newest Acme Missile Kit, complete with a safety certificate
from the Jet Propulsion Laboratory, who had inspected his personal
modifications. Sitting in the cockpit of the missile, he hid behind a shrub,
waiting for his target, Little Beeper. The little roadrunner, however,
sneaks up behind Calamity....
	"BEEP! BEEP!"
	The coyote leaps into the air, shocked. Landing with a "thud!" back
in the cockpit, he glares angrily at Little Beeper, who sticks his toungue
out and takes off running. Calamity starts the engines of his missile and
blasts off behind Little Beeper in hot pursuit, down the stretch of lawn
between the Looniversity and Acme Forest.

	"And with that, we finish today's lesson, kids. You can go now,"
Honey says into a megaphone, sitting on a director's chair to Buster, Babs
and Elmyra, who are standing on a cartoon stage, all in a 1920's, black-and-
white style.
	"You heard Honey, Elmyra! We can go now! Would you mind letting me
go?" Buster says to Elmyra, who has Buster in a huge bear hug.
	"Ooohhh, my little bunny-wunnyy in black-and-white! You are SO
CUTE like that!" Elmyra squezes Buster tighter, and the bunny's eyes, ears,
arms and legs bulge out. Silent cartoon fright lines shoot from his head,
hitting Elmyra and distracting her. He leaps away from her before she
realizes he's free.
	"You know, Elmyra reminds me of a very young Buddy!" Babs says
to Honey, impersonating Slappy. The bunnies bid farewell to their teacher
and walk out of the classroom, still in the 20's drawing style.
	"Let's go to my locker, Buster; once we get changed out of these
costumes, we can go to the Cafeteria," Babs suggests. Buster nods, and the
two go in the direction of the lockers.

	"Look, Fifi, this seems to be the most appropriate proportion,"
Hamton notes, showing Fifi a sample of the paste in a dish - a little doll
of a generic WB style skunk.
	"Oh, how cute, Hamton!" Fifi exclaims, holding the doll up. Part of
the tail droops a little. "But we need to use more fixer. Hold zees."
	Fifi gives the doll back to Hamton, and picks up the bottle of fixer
liquid, shaking it a few moments. Meanwhile, the black-and-white Buster and
Babs, passing by, look into the lab. Hamton blinks, thinking that Wakko and
Dot Warner were standing at the door, before he recognizes the two.
	"Hiya, Fifi, Hamton! What're you doing?" Buster asks, leading Babs
into the lab.
	"Hi, Buster! Hi, Babs!" Fifi replies, without looking up from the
doll she is spreading fixer onto with a small brush
	Buster steps up behind his friend, and peeks over his shoulder while
Hamton explains what they are doing.
	"So, Buster, we're still in the Phase 1, sort of what our human
Production Staff did in 'Love Among the Toons', small clay dolls. When we
find the right proportion of pastes, we will begin Phase 2, and..." - Hamton
continues explaining to Buster as Babs looks over the several plates with
clay samples.
	"Well, before you do, let me change this look, huh?" Babs says during
a pause in Hamton's explanation. As she breaks into one of her quick-change
spins, Buster notices a noise getting louder.
	"Hey, guys, do you hear something?" Buster asks. Hamton looks around,
trying to find the sound, still holding the doll for Fifi, who continues
working with the fixer.
	"It's true, Buster... sounds like... like..."
	"A rocket!" As Buster shouts, the front wall of the lab explodes,
and Calamity and his unguided guided missile streak through a hole in the
wall and head straight for the four toons, who scatter.
	"AAAIIIIIIHHHH!"
	The missile explodes in the middle of the room. In the explosion,
Fifi loses her balance, and the bottle of fixer flies out of her hands,
pouring all over the rest of her clay. The table with the paste samples, is
blown off the floor, and the clay and fixer fall precisely on top of the
still-spinning Babs. The spin stops abruptly, and the pink bunny falls on
top of Buster, Fifi, Hamton and Calamity, who were piled atop one another,
in the midst of the missile's wreckage.
	"Calamity! Look at what YOU DID!" - Fifi screams to the coyote, who
holds up a sign, saying "Sorry, guys..." Buster and Hamton try to struggle
out from under Babs as the smoke and dust settle.
	"Would someone get this anvil off me?!" Buster shouts. Hamton looks
around.
	"But Buster, there's no anvil on top of us! It's just Babs, I think!"
Hamton, trying to see through a faceful of dust, says.
	"Babs? Did you eat too much carrot cake this morning, dear?" Buster
asks.
	"VERY funny, big ears! Oof!" Babs climbs down from on top of her
friends, and cleans the dust off herself. Suddenly, she notices her friends
all staring at her.
	"What's with all of you?" she demands, then notices her reflection in
one of the polished aluminium panels of Calamity's missile.
	Babs still looked as she normally did - pink fur, yellow shirt and
purple blouse... but she isn't in the 20's drawing style, or her normal model.
	She was clay.
	Her movement and appearance are exactly like those in a Claymation
film. Even her eye-popping, ear-stretching, fur-standing wild take is
different.
	"MOI HAVE SUCCEEDED!" Fifi exclaims as Babs staggers around the room
awkwardly - her clay legs flop around a bit as she walks. The others stare,
astonished.
	"Wait a minute, you! What are you talking about? What have you
DONE to me??!?!?!"
	"Don't worry about eet, Babs!" Fifi inspects the rabbit, from top to
bottom. "You're just in the Clay Doll Animation Style zat moi was developing.
I wasn't testing on one of us yet, but I'm seeing it works, anyway. Probably,
eet ees due to ze paste that hit you during your spin change." The skunk
continues smiling while the other toons edge closer to Babs, looking her over.
	"Wow, Babsy! You're... well... you're beautiful, but in a...
different way... kinda," Buster says.
	"Who are you to talk, Blue Ears?" she demands. "You're back in your
usual Tokyo Movie Shinsha style! LOOK AT ME!"
	"Can I take a bit of this clay sample, Fifi?" Calamity asks (using a
sign, of course.)
	"After ze Science Fair, Calamity... moi want to make some more
experiments, but you could help me. Hamton, c'mon, we need to make more!"
The skunk grabs Hamton and turns back to the lab bench.
	"But Fifi, how do I get back to normal?" Babs asks, feeling her arms
and ears. "I'm all squishy and gross!
	"Well, Babs, perhaps the same way zat we do when we want to get back
to normal from any costume or wild-take. In your case, I believe zat another
quick spin will be sufficient, non?" Fifi twirls her finger in example.
	"All right." Babs begins to spin, but not as fast as she normally
does; after several seconds, she stops, looking exhausted.
	"Man, that's tiring! All this clay is very heavy!" Babs looks at
herself in a mirror and sees that she is still in clay form. "Lemme try
again." Again, Babs spins, this time making her her regular velocity, but it
doesn't help. She keeps trying until she's exhausted.
	"This isn't working, Fifi! What do I need to do?" Fifi thinks for a
few moments, until Hamton steps up and hands her an empty bottle.
	"Look, Fifi, maybe it's due to this?" The skunk looks at the bottle,
sees that it's empty. She looks at Babs, and sighs.
	"What, Fifi? What's that mean?" the perturbed pink clay bunny demands.
	"Wat zees means, Babs, ees zat... well, I believe we have here a
petit problem... no?" - Fade out on the scared faces of Babs, Buster,
Calamity and Hamton.

	The Acme Loo nurse's room. Granny and the Toons all surround a
stretcher, where Babs is sitting.
	"Really, kids, I must confess I don't know have the slightest idea of
what we can do for you, Babs," Granny says, poking the bunny's shoulders and
back with one finger and noting the texture is a lot like cake frosting.
Buster is reading the book 'Toon Trauma'.
	"Yeah, and this don't say nothing about 'Paste Animation'. Maybe
because we don't use that style, we don't know all the techiniques very
well." Buster steps up and gives the book to Granny.
	"Well, kids, let's do the following. I will research a few things and
talk with some of the others teacher. Let's see if any of us has a good
suggestion to find a solution."
	"Meanwhile," Hamton suggests, "how about we wait in the Cafeteria?
All this agitation makes me hungry." The group heads towards the Cafeteria,
as Granny starts to search for a solution.

	"Wait! I'm not going in there! I can't!" Babs stops in front of the
Cafeteria's entrance, and crosses her arms. "Not like THIS!"
	"C'mon, Babsy!" Buster steps behind the agitated bunny and tries to
push her inside, but he can't move her at all. "Don't be silly! I am sure
that nobody will notice anything wrong!"
	Babs eventually gives up. "Fine, but you give me some cover. After
all, all of you are at fault for me being stuck in this ridiculous situation."
	Buster, Fifi, Hamton and Calamity surround Babs and walk into the
Cafeteria, whistling inconspicuously. They walk through the room towards the
patio, and despite the Cafeteria not being too busy, many people are there.
Plucky and Shirley move to greet the five toons.
	"Hey, guys? What're you doing?" Plucky notices that they are in front
of something. Plucky goes to the left, trying to see what they could be
hiding, but all of them go left, too. Plucky goes to the right,  but again,
they all do the same thing.
	"Hey! Look there! Isn't that our coach Lola Bunny in a bikini, coming
from the swimming pool?" Plucky shouts, and Buster, Calamity and Hamton jump
away from Babs, looking all around, with binoculars, cameras, and camcorders.
	"WHAT? WHERE? WHERE?" The three toons look around, excited.
Fifi, alone, keeps trying to hide Babs, but nothing can be more do. Plucky
and the rest of the Cafeteria can already see Babs' current situation.
	Dead silence... then...
	"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!"
	Babs starts to steam, angered by the reaction.
	"WILL ALL OF YOU STOP THIS?!! IT ISN'T FUNNY!!! GGRRRRR!!" - Babs
screams, jumping and shaking her fists angrily. The bunny's clay movements
just get even more laughs.
	Fifi storms over to Hamton and the others, who are still looking for
the nonexistent bikinied bunny. "Moi weel talk with you later!" she growls in
the pig's ear; he droops and looks scared.
	Plucky walks up to Babs, recovering from his laughing fit.
	"What happened, Babs, ha, ha? One too many workouts, trying to build
up? Qua, qua, qua!" Plucky sucks in air and bulges out his chest and biceps.
	"I said... to stop... THIS!" Babs shouts, shaping herself into an
anvil and jumping towards Plucky, who tries to run, but gets flattened by a
pink and yellow anvil with arms.
	Babs smugly reshapes herself as Shirley pulls Plucky, still dizzy,
to one side as the laughter dies down in the Cafeteria.
	"Stop this, Plucky, you're insensible! Don't you see that Babs is,
like, having serious troubles?" Shirley steps up and hugs Babs. "So, like,
what happened, Babs?"
	"Ohshirleyfifiwasdoingsomeexperimentswithclayandcalamity..." Babs,
crying, pours the story out to Shirley, small clay tears dripping down her
cheeks.  - "Do you see this? I can't even cry properly!"
	"Like, don't panic, Babs! Maybe all of us can do something!" Shirley
says, encouragingly.
	Plucky thinks a little, and a lightbulb (short-circuiting, of course)
appears above the duck's head.
	"Maybe all that stuff is just some kind of crust, like heavy make-up.
We could..." Plucky whips out a huge electric saw, turns it on, and stalks
towards the pink clay bunny. Scared, Babs jumps on top of Buster, who loses
his balance, because of the weight, and falls over, Babs landing on him.
	"HEY, HEY, keep away, duck!" Babs screams. "I am absolutely sure
that I'm this way inside, too! Don't come close to me with that idiotic idea!"
	"All right, all right! Fine, I won't help at all, then!" Plucky walks
off, muttering.
	Buster reappears, followed by Dizzy.
	"I have an idea, Babs! Maybe if you do your spin with the help of
Dizzy's power, you can revert the process."
	"Oui, oui, maybe it's worth it, Babs," Fifi comments, and
reluctantly, Babs accepts the suggestion.
	Calamity attaches some pulleys and straps from Dizzy onto Babs, then
steps back.
	"All right, Dizzy, GO!" Buster exclams.
	"Oooogh! Dizzy SPIN! Thppppbhttt!!"
	Dizzy begins to spin, and Babs follows. An RPM display held by
Calamity starts to show faster and faster, with the two toons spinning faster
and faster, increasing the power. The suction created by the spin begins to
pick up all the objects in the Cafeteria - cutlery, snacks, plates, glasses,
cows, farm tractors, and so on. All the toons grab onto the Cafeteria columns
to keep from being picked up, drifting like flags.
	Plucky, holding onto a column, looks around and does a wild take as
he sees Helen Hunt hanging from the column next to him.
	Several chunks of clay begin to fly out from the spin, which gets
smaller and smaller.
	"STOP, DIZZY, STOP! IT ISN'T WORKING!" Buster screams. Dizzy abruptly
stops, woozy, and the junk that had been scooped up flies all over.
	The toons look at where Babs was, but there is now just a thin column
of smoke vanishing into the air.
	"Oh, My GOSH! SHE DISINTEGRATED HERSELF! NO!" Buster screams in
panic, and jumps to where Babs was. - "No!! It can't be! What have we done?"
	"Pssst, hey, Mr. Hysterics! How about getting me out of here, huh?"
	Buster spins around to see a fragment of Babs's mouth, stuck to one
of the walls, with several other pieces stuck to all the other Cafeteria
walls. Buster grabs a scraper, and removes all the Babs pieces from the
walls, reshaping her again.
	"This didn't help at all, guys!! Now what? Am I stuck like this
forever? What will I do? How will I ever be a star, now? Nobody will make a
contract with a clay doll?" Babs sobs.
	"C'mon, Babs, it isn't so bad! You can still make movies!" Buster
takes her hand. "You could do... er... well, look, you can work in
'Terminator 3', for instance!"
	"Yeah, Babs, or be one of those repulsive swamp monsters, dripping
slime from every pore, with hundreds of tentacles and all that." Plucky
shapes Babs into an example of what he is describing, getting a round of
screams from the audience.
	Buster quickly reshapes the bunny into her normal appearance.
"Plucky, DO you mind?" Buster growls at the duck. "We need to encourage Babs,
not tell her that now she can only get roles on educational TV channels in
Oriental Europ... ooopppss!" Buster stops abruptly. Babs glares at both of
them impatiently.
	"DO SOMETHING!!!!" the pink bunny screams.
	The door swings open and Granny, Bugs Bunny and Egghead Jr. come into
the Cafeteria, and walk over to the group.
	"Ehhh, kiddos, Granny told me what happened." Bugs steps close to
Babs, and examines her, eating a carrot. "Well, will ya look at dis, huh?
How do you feel, Babs?"
	"Actually, I'm a little hungry, Bugs... do you have any more of those
with you?"
	Bugs takes a carrot out of a pocket and gives it to Babs, but when
she crunches it, the clay that makes up her mouth forms itself around the
hard carrot - she can't eat it.
	"Oh, no! We need to find a solution very soon, Babs, or you will
starve!" Buster consoles his girlfriend.
	"Don't worry about it, kids," Bugs says. "I talked with Egghead here,
and he can fix all dis confusion. Egghead, do you mind, please?"
	Egghead comes close to Babs and stares at the bunny for several
seconds, in silence. Then he grabs her and drags her towards the kitchen.
	"Hey, hey, where are you taking me? Rabbits and kitchens don't mix,
you know?" The little chick ignores the bunny as he makes some calculations
on a slide rule and a scientific calculator. Suddenly he puts a shouting Babs
into a cake mold, which he puts inside an Acme oven.
	The chick sets the temperature to 'Metallurgic Oven', and waits at
the side of the oven. The timer rings, and Egghead, now dressed in a
radiation suit, holds a superhardened Babs Bunny, and puts her in a bucket of
water to cool off. He puts several different compounds into the bucket, along
with a dash of tabasco sauce and a pinch of salt, stirs, lifts the statue out
and, with a hammer, hits the bunny at the top of her head.
	She cracks into small pieces, which Egghead puts in an Acme Ink can,
and shakes. Carrying the can back to the Cafeteria's main room, where the
others are waiting, he picks up a cocktail shaker, drains the contents of the
ink can into it, and shakes again.
	Egghead opens the cocktail shaker again, and pours Babs onto the
Cafeteria floor. She emerges this time in her completely normal, regular
and cute 2D TMS animation.
	"THANK YOU, Egghead Jr.!" Babs cries, picking the little Looney Tune
up and giving him a big kiss.
	"Wait a minute, little fellow, how did you do that?" Plucky asks
Egghead. The little chick begins to quickly write a complicated equation on
a piece of paper, starting with a clay Babs, and finishing with the normal
Babs. Egghead turns the paper over to Plucky.
	"Oh, yeah, sure... well, I said, well, said, forget it, kiddo, I
never will understand, anyway!" Plucky says, in his best Foghorn Leghorn
voice. Egghead gives the clay that stayed in the shaker back to Fifi.
	"So, is that it, then? She's all right?" Hamton questions. Fifi, at
his side, makes a dissapointed face.
	"Le sigh! I zink that my invention isn't so good, after all... moi
just make troubles with zis..." Babs puts her hand on her friend's shoulder.
	"Forget it, Feef... it wasn't your fault."
	"I personally want to see your formula at the Science Fair, Fifi. I
know dat ya have a great chance," Bugs says to the skunk, who brightens up.
"Well, kids, if ya needs me, I will be in my office, reading a script. So
long." The three Looney Tunes leave the Cafeteria.
	"Vous were right, folks... Moi just need adjust a few zings in the
formula, to make it lighter and less viscous." Fifi concentrates on the
bottle of fixer. "And it could have been worse. If two of zis bottles had
hit Babs with the clay, the formula probably would have stayed so hard zat
it could be impossible to revert! Babs could have been changed into just one
more statue for the Looniversity hall!"
	Calamity holds up a sign. "Can I take some of the clay, now, Fifi?"
Fifi gives the coyote a little of the clay. The toons begin to leave the
Cafeteria, chatting. The skunk, however, is interrupted by another request.
	"Hmm, perhaps you could give me some samples of your formula too,
Mademoiselle La Fume?" Fifi looks down, shrugs, and gives the big-headed
white mouse some of the clay.
	"Thank you," the mouse nodded, and walked out of the cafeteria,
followed by another, taller mouse, who is carrying TWO bottles of fixer.
	"Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?" Brain asks.
	"Yes, Brain, but maybe we don't need so much fixer to keep our hair
in place! NARF!"
	Fade out on the confused face of Fifi.

				    The End

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Well, that's it, and I hope you have enjoyed; feel free to send me any comments
that you have about it, either in the TTAFF Mailing List, or direct to me, at
leandro@generalbrands.com