(Authors' note:  Hello.  Yes, It's just me again.  And as usual I've been
thinking (and it hurt) about yet another adventure.  So here it is.  For
those of you who may be looking for plot-holes in this story, let me
explain one that may be found.  When Chris and Babs both get out of the
car, Chris grabs his backpack out of the backseat.  This is where he always
keeps it, so that he hopefully won't loose it.)

Skunknapped
by The HellCat

        Int.  A dark, dank, dungeon.  There is water dripping down the old
moss covered stone walls.  The only light in the room is coming from an old
kerosene lamp sitting on a small table next to a large mobile chalkboard.
There are two figures standing in front of the chalkboard.  We cannot tell
who they are because they are both wearing long black hooded-robes.  The
only way to tell the two apart, is from the color of the fur on their
hands.  One has dark brown fur, and the other has brownish-tan fur.  [ As a
side-note, these characters will be referred to in this script as "Brown"
for dark brown fur, and "Tan" for brownish-tan fur, because we don't know
who they are].
        Brown (pointing to a spot on the chalkboard with an instructors'
stick, and talking to 'Tan'):  "_Now_ do you understand?"
        Tan (in a winy sort of voice):  "I think so.  But what happens
after we take care of them?"
        Brown:  "Then we just do as planned.  After that, we go for the
big-time!"
        Tan:  "You don't mean we're _really_ going to set-up the Looney Tunes?"
        Brown:  "Exactly.  And when _they're_ out of the way, there'll be
no stopping us!"

Fade out

Fade in

        Ext. A street in Acme Acres.  It's late evening.  About ten
o'clock.  Chris Pew is walking down the street alone, in his usual attire,
and whistling the tune Proud Mary by C.C.R.  After a short time, he passes
by the Acme Gigaplex.  The streets are fairly crowded with toons leaving
the movie theater.
        Chris (to himself):  "Huh.  I wonder what was playing?"  He then
looks at the sign on the theater across the street that reaches to the
heavens, labeled with all of the movies that were playing.  "On second
thought, I wonder what  _wasn't_  playing."

        He 'shrugs' the question away, and begins walking again.  As if to
come from out of nowhere, he hears somebody holler,  "Chris!  Hey Chris!
Wait up!"  The confused skunk turns to see who it is.
        Chris:  "Huh?  Who wants what?"

        Babs comes running out of the crowd, and across the street towards
him.
        Chris:  "Oh!  Hi Babsie!  How's it goin'?"
        Babs (now walking beside him):  "Oh, not too bad.  So, what's up?"
        Chris:  "Just taking an evening stroll.  It helps me clear my mind."

        Babs spin-changes into an impression of Shirley the Loon sitting on
a beanbag chair, with her legs crossed and and her eyes closed.  She opens
her eyes and looks up at Chris (who has also stopped walking to see what
she is doing).
        Babs:  "But in order to be at peace with yourself, you have to,
like, totally center your aura, er sum junk.  Then, you will be at peace."

        Babs spin-changes back to her normal self (well, as normal as Babs
gets anyway).
        Chris:  "Babs, that was priceless.  It truly was a Kodak moment."
        Babs (taking a short bow, rather quickly):  "Well, thank yoooouuuu!"

        They continue walking for ways, and then turn a corner by an old
wooden fence.
        Babs:  "Chris?"
        Chris:  "Hum?"
        Babs:  "I don't suppose I could ask you one teeny, tiny, itsy,
bitsy, little favor, could I?"
        Chris:  "I wondered why you were following me.  Yeah, sure Babs.  I
can give you a ride home."
        Babs:  "Oh, Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou!"
        Chris (Italian accent impression):  "Eh!  Is no problem!"

        Soon, the tall wooden fence that they have been walking along comes
to an opening.  The Acme Acres Junkyard.

        Chris:  "First however, I have to rest for a couple of minutes.
You mind?"
        Babs:  "Not at all.  Say, do you know if Fifi's home?"
        Chris:  "Well, there's one way to tell rather quickly."

        By now they have walked into the dump, and are about equal distance
from walking to either Chris', or Fifis'.
        Babs:  "Really?  How's that?"
        Chris:  "Watch and learn.  Just be sure to stand clear."
        Babs:  "Clear of what?"
        Chris:  "You'll see."

        Chris takes a couple of steps in the direction of his own home, and
then turns to face Fifi's place.
        Chris:  "HEY FIFI!  I'M BACK!!!"

        The 'front' door of Fifis' Caddy opens very omnimously.  Suddenly,
a purple streak comes flying out of the door, makes contact with Chris (who
suddenly disappears as this happens), and 'slams' against the fence with a
loud "CRASH!"  Babs just stares at this site in amazement.
        Babs:  "Now I remember why I suggested that Fifi try-out for the
school track team."

        We can see Fifi is kneeling on the stomach of a rather dazed Chris Pew.
        Fifi:  "Mon amour!  Ah meesed vous!  Where have vous been?

        Chris sits up so that Fifi is now sitting on his lap.  He is
leaning back on his right arm.  He shakes his head vigorously for a moment,
and then looks at Fifi.

        Chris:  "Just going for an evening stroll chére.  If I may?"
        Fifi:  "But of course."

        She gets up, and off of him.  He than stands up.
        Chris (dusting himself off):  "Well, if you girls will excuse me, I
need to rest for a few moments."

        Chris gives Fifi a quick romantic kiss, turns, puts his hands in
his pockets, and then walks over to his Lincoln.  Fifi turns to Babs, whose
jaw is hanging open about a foot.  Fifi places her index finger underneath
Babs chin, and shuts it with the cash-register  *Ka-Ching*  sound-effect.
        Fifi:  "Ah suppose zat vous want to talk about zees now?"

        Both girls turn, and begin walking to Fifis'.
        Babs:  "Yes.  I want _all_ the details!"

Fade out

Fade in
        Int. Chris' home.  It looks rather nice, if you remember that it is
just an abandoned old car.  The shag carpet has a white peace sign in the
middle, with a black outline, and the rest of the carpet is a rather deep
shade of navy blue.  There is a red overstuffed couch, and a wooden chair
with blue and pink colored needlepoint on it.  There is also a wooden
coat-rack next to the door.  Chris walks in the front door, closes it, and
takes off his jacket.  He hangs his jacket on the coat-rack, and then lays
down on the couch with one arm hanging off of the side of the couch, and
one arm draped over his head covering his eyes.
        Chris:  "Just five minutes.  That's all I need."

        The camera pans over to a clock on the wall.  Time speeds up for
five minutes, and then goes back to normal.  The camera pans to Chris who
is still laying on the couch in the same position.  As if to be right on
cue for something to happen, we can hear a deafening scream.  Chris sits
straight up, eyes wide.  He looks at his watch.
        Chris:  "Well, at least I got my five minutes."

        He leaps off of the couch, and snatches his jacket from the
coat-rack as he runs out the door, slamming it (the door) behind him.
Chris stops dead in his tracks about 20 feet away from his home.  He is
looking around startled, as if he expected to see something to the effect
of the whole junkyard being on fire.  He can't see anything wrong until he
notices Babs bound and gagged to a chair outside of Fifis'.  He runs over
to her, and pulls the gag out of her mouth.
        Babs:  "Thanks.  That was beginning to annoy me."

        Chris gets behind Babs, and prepares to get her untied.  He forms a
fist with his right hand, and suddenly three rather long metallic blades
(very slender, and about the same length as his fingers) extend from his
knuckles.  He shreds the ropes that have the distressed rabbit confined to
the chair, as if they were made of paper.  He quickly retracts the blades,
pulls Babs from her seat, and asks her:  "Where's Fifi?"
        Babs:  "They took her!"
        Chris:  "Who!?!"

        Just then we hear an engine roar to life.  Chris drops Babs, who
has a confused look on her face the instant before she falls.  He rushes in
the direction of the noise.  Outside of the junkyard, a long limousine
quickly pulls away from the curb, and begins driving away.  In an instant
Babs is standing next to Chris.
        Babs (tugging at his left arm):  "Come on!  We've gotta get the car
so we can catch them!"
        Chris (pulls his arm from Babs' grasp, and says):  "No time."

        He then pulls what looks like an aspirin bottle from behind his
back.  Close-up on the label.  It reads: ACME LEG MUSCLE PILLS.  Below that
in small letters, it reads:  Twice as effective for only half as long on
amputees'.  He pops the lid off of the jar, pours a bunch of the pills in
his left hand, swallows them dry, and then tosses the bottle away.
        Chris:  "Oh yuck!  Those things taste _horrible_!"

        Suddenly his left leg swells to roughly twice its' normal size in
diameter.  He begins running in place so fast that even Babs appears to be
a bit impressed.  His legs are just a blur.  He reaches into his jacket
pocket, and pulls out a key.
        Chris (handing the key to Babs):  "I don't know how long these
things will last.  Follow me."
        Babs (English accent, and saluting him, as she takes the key):
"Righty-o sur!"

        Chris gets a rather determined look on his face, and in a small
trail of fire and smoke, he is gone.  We look at Babs.  She has a rather
evil sort of grin on her face, and she's chuckling to herself.

Fade out

Fade in

        Int. A red apolstered stretch limousine.  'Brown' is driving.
        Brown:  "What's going on back there?"

        'Tan' climbs through the open privacy window between the front seat
and the back seats.
        Tan:  "I just managed to knock her out with her own scent.  I had
no idea that a skunk could hold its' breath that long!"
        Brown:  "She wasn't harmed, was she?"
        Tan:  "Nope.  She's worthless if she's harmed.  Right?"
        Brown:  "Amazing.  For once, I think you actually fully understood
the plan."
        Tan:  "Oh, ha ha."  (turns to look out the rear-view mirror on the
passengers' side).  "Ha, hu, huh?  What the!?!"  ('Tan' looks at 'Brown').
"Uh, you're not going to like this."
        Brown:  "Don't tell me that you didn't sedate that purple pest enough!"
        Tan:  "No, I have the feeling that this is much worse."
        Brown (glances at the drivers' side rear-view mirror):  "Well, how
bad is it then?"  (doing a double-take looking at the mirror).  "No.  There
is no way that this is even feasibly possible!  How is he doing that!?!"

        We look into the rear-view mirror and see that Chris is gaining on
the car.

        Brown:  "Well, let's just see how well he can maneuver."

        From a view next Chris, we watch the car slam on its breaks, and
'zip' around a corner to the left.  We watch Chris desperately try to stop,
but instead he trips, and proceeds to 'crash and burn' around the corner.
He sits up in the middle of the street, and shakes his head.  We hear the
sound of a distant motor.  Suddenly, a pair of headlights come around the
corner and appear to be headed straight for the hapless blue skunk.  A car
just barley misses him, and comes to a screeching halt directly beside him.
He reaches over, and pulls the gull-wing door of a DeLorian open.  He
glances down at his leg, as he is busy dragging himself into the car.  It
has shrunk back to its normal size.  As he has finished getting into the
car, he forcefully pulls the door shut.
        Babs:  "Are you okay?"
        Chris (shaking his head a little bit):  "Never mind that now.  Just
drive."

        Babs doesn't say anything.  She just 'throws' the car into gear,
and 'floor-boards' the gas.  Chris manages to recollect himself a little
bit.  He looks over his body quickly, as if taking a damage assessment.  He
notes that he is bleeding a little bit on his left knee from the wreck, and
the covering on his right arm is torn a bit in a couple of places.
        Babs:  "I don't know if we can catch that car.  It must have a lot
more power than this one."
        Chris:  "Remember what Buster always says?  'Never underestimate
the little guy!'  Did you really think that I didn't have another trick up
my sleeve?"
        Babs:  "Well?"
        Chris:  "Just let me put it to you this way Babsie.  Is your seat
belt fastened?"  (He says this as he fastens his own).
        Babs:  "Yeah.  Why?"
        Chris (seeming to ignore her question, he tightens his safety belt
a little bit more):  "What's the fastest you've ever driven Babs?"
        Babs (getting pretty agitated):  "I don't know.  About a hundred.
Now, WHY!?!?!?!?!"

        Chris just smiles at her as he presses a hidden button on the
shifter knob, causing it to 'break' across the center, and reveal a small
red button hidden inside.

        Chris:  "Let's just say that it's a surprise for the car ahead.
All you have to do is keep the wheel steady."  (looking at the rather
distant taillights of the limousine).  "We should _just_ catch them."

        Babs has only a vague clue as of what is about to happen.  A few
beads of sweat roll down her forehead, as he presses the button with his
left thumb and then quickly closes the small cover.  Suddenly, there is a
sound like a jet powering-up as the car rapidly begins gaining speed.  Both
the skunk and the rabbit are thrown back into their seats from the sudden
G-force.  The front of the car picks-up off of the ground a bit, and then
touches pavement about the same way that a plane would land its' front
wheels.
        Babs (barley audible above all of the noise):  "CHRIS!  YOU MANIAC!
WE'RE GOING TO BE KILLED!"
        Chris:  "I TOLD YOU BABSIE!  JUST KEEP IT STEADY!"

        Camera wipe to 'Brown' (who just happened to look in his mirror
again).  He is looking very distressed, as the DeLorian has almost caught
up to him.
        Brown:  "I don't believe this!"
        Tan (still sitting beside him):  "What now?"
        Brown:  "It's that obsessed skunk!  He's _still_ after us!"
        Tan:  "You mean he's STILL running that fast!?!"
        Brown:  "No, now he's in a car with that hyperactive pink rabbit."
        Tan (looking in the passenger side rear-view mirror):  "Babs?  I
didn't think that ANYBODY would EVER let her drive, after that little
incident with her moms' car on the interstate."

        Camera wipe to the outside of the DeLorian.  We can see both cars,
and the DeLorian is almost (but not quite) tailgating the limo.  Camera
wipe to the inside of the DeLorian
        Chris:  "Good, I was right."

        The noise from the car has stopped, and it is slowly beginning to
loose speed.  Chris takes off his seat belt, and opens his door.  The
instant that he does this, he reaches for the emergency rough-road handle
(commonly know to most people as the 'Oh-****' handle), and leans half of
his body out of the speeding car.
        Babs:  "Chris Pew, are you totally INSANE!?!"

        Ignoring her, he reaches into the inside-pocket of his jacket, and
reveals a shiny handgun.  With careful aim, he shoots at the limos' bumper.
He then puts the gun away, gets his whole body back into the car, and
shuts the door.
        Babs:  "What were you doing!?!  You could have hurt somebody with
that thing, or killed yourself!"
        Chris:  "Just calm down Babs.  I wasn't shooting bullets."
        Babs:  "Okay wise guy.  Then what _were_ you shooting?  Foam darts?"
        Chris:  "No,  it's a small homing devise that I've been working on
in case somebody stole my car."  (He reaches into his jacket and reveals a
small console, about the size of a Gameboy).  "Now we just have to follow
this homing signal."
        Babs:  "It's a good thing, because I don't see them."

        Sure enough, we look out the windshield of the car, and the
limousine has completely vanished from view.

Fade out

Fade in

        Ext.  A small clearing, near the edge of the Acme forest.  About
100 yards from the road sits the limo.  It has been abandoned.  We watch a
pair of headlights swerve off of the highway, and come to a stop behind the
limo.  The doors of the car lift up, as Chris (grabbing his backpack out of
the backseat) and Babs both exit the car, closing the doors behind them.
Chris takes another look at the small radar screen in his hand, and then
puts it away.
        Chris:  "Well, this is just fabulous.  _Now_  how do we find them?"

        Babs runs past Chris and kneels down to look at something laying in
the grass, about ten feet away from the limo.
        Babs:  "Hey, get a load of this!  Isn't this the bow that's always
in Fifis' hair?"

        Chris runs over to see what she's talking about.  Just as he sees
it, she picks it up causing a trap door to open beneath them.
        Chris (just before falling down the trap):  "I hadda ask."

Fade out

Fade in

        Int.  A dreary looking dungeon.  Miss Fifi La Fume is sitting on
the lower mattress of a bunk bed.  She is just gazing at the moss covered
wall, lost in a daydream.  Much to her surprise she hears a faint sound,
like someone falling.  She stands up, and looks up to the ceiling (about
twenty feet high).  The sound begins growing louder, and louder.  The next
thing she knows, a trap door in the ceiling opens as Chris and Babs come
tumbling into the room, landing at her feet.  The bewildered skunk and
rabbit both stand up, shaking their heads, and dusting themselves off.
        Fifi:  "HOORAY!!!"

        Chris abruptly stops brushing himself off, and looks at her wide
eyed.  Suddenly, he vanishes.  Seconds later, we hear a  *WHUMP*.  Camera
pan over to a nearby wall.  Fifi is kneeling on Chris' lap, as half of his
body is propped against the wall.  He looks like he has just been hit by a
freight train.
        Fifi (smothering him in an arsenal of kisses and affection):  "Mon
'ero!  Ah am rescued!"

        Babs walks over to Fifi, who promptly gets off of the poor battered
blue skunk.
        Fifi:  "Babsie!  How did vous get here?"
        Babs (putting an arm over Fifis' shoulder):  "It's a LONG story."

        Begin fade out on Chris, who only has one thing to say.
        Chris (slowly, and kind of slurred):  "Just five minutes.  That's
all I ask.  Just five more minutes."

Fade out

Fade in
        Int.  We're still in the dungeon, about an hour later.  Fifi and
Babs are both asleep on the beds.  Fifi got the lower bunk, because Babs
started complaining about how Fifis' tail would probably gas her to death
in her sleep, if she (Babs) didn't get the upper bunk.  Fifi thought about
gassing her just a little bit in her sleep (only enough to wake Babs up),
just for that comment.  However, she fell asleep while thinking about it.
Chris on the other hand is resting across the room on the floor, using his
backpack as a pillow, and his jacket as a blanket.  Presently, he wakes up.
He sits up, stretches out his arms, and yawns.  After getting up and
putting his coat on, he opens the top of his backpack and begins rummaging
through it.
        Chris (half of his body in the bag, and still rummaging):  "Now
what did I do with it?  Aha!  Here it is!"

        His top half emerges from the bag.  He is holding his percolator in
one hand, and a small black bag in the other.  He walks over to a nearby
dripping faucet, and puts the small bag on the ground.  He proceeds to make
a pot of coffee for himself.  He then walks back over to his backpack, and
drops the small black bag (which we now know is coffee) into it.  Grabbing
the coffee pot, he searches for an electrical outlet.  He finds one hidden
behind the bed that the girls are asleep on.  Ever so gently, he picks up
the bed with his right hand, and sets it about three feet away from the
wall.  He then plugs in the coffee pot, and sets it down.  He sits down
next to the coffee machine, and begins thinking.
        Chris:  "Now, how to get out of here."

        He stands up, and walks over to a large steel door.  It's about
seven feet tall, by four feet wide.  He looks at the door, and taps it with
his index finger a couple of times.

        *PING*  *PING*  *PING*

        Chris (rubbing his chin):  "Hmm.  Probably solid steel.  Well, it's
worth a shot."

        He stands in front of the door, like he's ready to be tackled by a
football player.  He draws back with his right fist, and punches the door
as hard as he can.  Instead of the door falling down, Chris' arm begins
shaking.  Soon, the shaking travels from his arm into his body, and then
from his body to his tail.  The shaking dissipates at the tip of his tail.

        Chris:  "Well, scratch that idea."

        He turns around, and goes over to his backpack.  He caries the bag
over to the coffee pot, where Babs and Fifi are both at.  The sound of his
hitting the door has obviously woke them both.  Babs is sitting up in the
bed, and looking around.  Fifi is hiding under her blanket, and shivering.
        Babs:  "Whowhatwherewhenwhyhow.  What happened?  Who got blown up?"

        Wile Babs was talking,  Chris has gotten a mug from out of his bag,
poured himself a cup of coffee, and began drinking it.
        Chris (between sips):  "Nothing happened Babs.  I just tried
knocking the door down.  Believe me, it didn't work."
        Fifi (peeking from under the covers):  "Zat was _vous_?  Ah sought
zat we were being _bombed_!"
        Chris:  "That door appears to be our only way out.  Trouble is, how
to get it opened?"

        Babs and Fifi both get out of bed.  Babs pulls a mirror from behind
her back, and looks at herself.  After primping herself for a few minutes,
she gives it to Fifi.  Fifi straightens her hair a bit, and gives the
mirror to Babs, who puts it away.
        Babs:  "So Chris, any ideas?"

        A light bulb appears above Chris' head.  He finishes his coffee,
puts down the mug and walks over to the beds.  He begins pulling the
mattresses off of the beds.
        Chris:  "I've got one.  It's a slim chance, but it still just might
work."

        Chris walks over to the bunk bed, and pulls the mattresses off of
it.  He props the two mattresses in a far corner, and then walks over to
the coffee pot again.  He pours another cup of the black sludge into his
mug, and walks over to the two girls.
        Chris (handing the mug to Babs):  "Here Babs.  This might help wake
you up a bit."
        Babs:  "But I feel fine."
        Chris:  "Trust me Babs.  This'll help you feel a lot better."
        Babs:  "I'm tellin' you," Fifi nudges Babs with her elbow, and
winks at her.

        Not being one to start a fight, Babs gives-in, and takes the cup
from Chris.
        Babs:  "Now that you mention it, I guess I am a _little_ bit thirsty."

        Babs 'downs' the whole cup of coffee.  Chris grabs Fifi, and both
skunks hide behind the mattress that he propped against the wall.
        Fifi (rather annoyed):  "How ees _zees_ supposed to get us out of 'ere?"
        Chris:  "You'll see."

        Chris and Fifi peek around the side of the mattresses, to see Babs
still standing in the middle of the room.  She drops the coffee mug, and
begins twitching.  Soon her whole body begins shaking madly.  She has a
psychotic look on her face.  Her teeth begin chattering uncontrollably.
Fifi and Chris both duck their heads behind the mattresses again.
        Fifi:  "What deed vous give her?"
        Chris:  "Some really high test stuff.  Turkish coffee.  And you
know what happens when somebody as hyperactive as Babs gets that much
caffeine in their system, don't you?"
        Fifi:  "Uh-oh."

        Camera wipe back to Babs.  By now, she looks like a candidate for a
local insane asylum.  Finally, she can't hold on any longer.  She blasts
straight up into the air, ricochets off of the ceiling , and then begins
ricocheting off of every wall in the room, except for the door.  She looks
a lot like a pink, unguided, bottle-rocket.  Camera wipe to outside of the
door.  From about seven and a half feet away, we hear a loud *THUNK*, and
watch the large door collapse right in front of us.  This creates a large
dust-cloud, which envelops everything around the door.  When the dust
clears, we can see Babs laying on the door, on her back, and out of breath.
Chris and Fifi both get out from behind the mattresses, and walk over to
Babs.
        Fifi:  "Babsie!  Are vous going to be, how you say, all right?"
        Babs:  "Pant, pant, pant, pant, yeah Feef.  I'll be okay"
        Chris (helping Babs up):  "Enjoy our little marathon, did we?"
        Babs (regaining her breath):  "Quite."
        Chris:  "Then lets get outta here."

        Chris walks over to where his backpack and coffee pot are both at,
grabbing his coffee mug off of the stone floor on his way.
        Chris (as he picks up his mug):  "Good thing this mug didn't break.
I didn't wanna go buy another one."

        Chris gathers his things together (empties his coffee pot down the
drain in the middle of the floor), puts everything back into his bag, puts
it over his right shoulder, and then walks to the center of the room.
        Chris (looking at us):  "Finally, one scene in this story, where I
don't get hit by something.  It's about time."  (looking around).
"However, I can't shake this feeling that I've forgotten something."

        Just as he has finished saying this, the trap door above his head
opens, and Buster, Plucky and Shirley land on top of him.  Chris sticks his
head out from underneath them, and looks at us.
        Chris:  "Me and my big, fat, mouth."

        The three toons get off of him, and dust themselfs off.
        Babs:  "Hey!  What're _you_ guys doing here?"
        Buster:  "Your mom called my house two hours ago looking for you.
I thought if anybody could find you it was Shirley.  I called her house,
but nobody answered the phone, so I called Fifi.  When she didn't answer, I
_knew_ there was something wrong, so I called Plucky.  The duck said he
didn't know where anybody was, so we went out looking for you.  Shirley
ended up being at Fifis'."
        Fifi (to Shirley):  "What were vous doeeng at mon house?"
        Shirley:  "Like, I woke up with this vision that you had been
totally kidnapped, er sum junk.  So, when I like called your house and you
didn't answer, I just totally walked over."
        Chris:  "That's all well and good, but how did you find us?"
        Shirley:  "I like meditated for a few minutes."
        Plucky (grumbling):  "Try thirty."

        Shirley gives Plucky a look that could possibly kill, and then
continues.
        Shirley:  "Like I was saying, I just totally meditated on Fifi, and
had this vision of where we had to go, er sum junk."
        Plucky:  Well, now that everybody is found, lets all go home.  I'm
tired."
        Chris:  "Not so fast Duck.  I still want to know who caused this
whole mess."

        Suddenly, the toons hear something.
        *THUMP*  *THUMP*  *THUMP*
        Babs:  "Well blue boy, it looks like you got your wish."
        Fifi (a terrified look on her face):  "What are we going to do?
What eef zay try to _keel_us?"
        Chris:  "Relax Feef. I've got a plan."

        Chris motions for everyone into a huddle.  There is a lot of
whispering.  Plucky sticks his head out of the huddle for a moment and
looks around, but Shirley pulls his head back into the huddle.  After about
a minute, the huddle 'breaks'.
        Chris:  "Okay everybody, get yourselfs ready.  _I'll_ take care of
the rest!"

Fade out

Fade in
        Int.  A very large, and long corridor.  Two familiar figures are
walking side by side.  It's 'Brown', and 'Tan'.  The corridor is dimly lit
by the kerosene lamp that 'Brown' is carrying.  Suddenly, we hear a loud
explosion that sounds so powerful, it shakes the lamp in 'Brown's' hand.
        Tan:  "What was _that_!?!"
        Brown:  "I don't know.  But whatever it was, I didn't like it.  Not
at all."

        The two hooded figures run down the hallway, to find the room where
they left their prisoners.  The door looks like it has been blown off of
its hinges by a high powered explosive.  The two figures run to the
entrance of the room, and look inside.  Three lifeless bodies lay next to
the overturned bunk bed.  'Brown' sets down the lamp, as he and 'Tan'
cautiously approach the bodies of Chris, Babs, and Fifi.
        Tan (standing a ways back from 'Brown', and the three bodies):
"Are they, (gulp) dead?"
        'Brown' reaches out, and feels Chris' right wrist for a pulse.
Naturally, he doesn't find one.
        Brown (backing away from the bodies, and then standing next to
'Tan'):  "(Gulp).  I I think so!  They must have been trying to blow their
way out, and stayed too close to the dynamite!"

        Just then, three figures that look like ghosts jump out from behind
the bed, and start floating towards the two figures.  'Brown' and 'Tan'
jump back in surprise, causing their hoods to fall off of their heads, and
hang from the backs of their robes.  The two faces belong to none other
than (you probably guessed it) Rodderick, and Rubella Rat (bumm, bumm,
bumm!!!)!

        Ghosts:  "Rodderick!  Rubella!  You'll pay!  Yoou'll paayy!"
        Roddy (shaking his hands at the ghosts):  "Hey!  It was a joke!
Come on!  Lets' talk this over!"
        Chris peeks though his partly closed eyes, to see who their captors
have been.  Now he's enraged!  He stands up, and helps Fifi and Babs up.
        Babs (whispering):  "_What're_ you_ doing_!?!"
        Chris (whispering):  "Just follow my lead."

        The three toons begin walking towards the two rats, along with the
ghosts.
        Chris (monotone voice):  "Rodderick!  Rubella!  You killed us!  Now
you must PAY!!!"
        Babs (monotone voice):  "We prefer cash!"

        Fifi gently 'elbows' Babs in the ribs.  The rats didn't notice her
comment, however.  They are now backed up against the corridor wall with
the three undead corpses, and the three ghosts still closing in on them.
Rodderick and Rubella get down on their knees, and begin begging.
        Rubella:  "You don't wanna kill _me_, it was all _Roddy's_ idea!"
        Rodderick:  "Look.  I'll do anything.  You hear?  ANYTHING!  Just
PLEASE don't kill me!"
        The six 'dead' toons stop, about a foot away from the two cowering
rats.
        Chris (close-up on his face):  "You have only one choice."
Close-up on his eyes.  He has a small fire burning in each of them.  He
says very quietly, "Run!"

        With this said, both rats look at each other.
        Roddy:  "Shall we, Ruby dear?"
        Ruby:  "Let's shall, Roddy darling!"

        In a flash, both rats leap into the air, their legs spinning
pinwheel style, as they rocket down the corridor, to make their escape.
Buster, Shirley, and Plucky pull the sheets off of themselfs.
        Buster:  "Now _that_ was funny!"
        Babs:  "Hey Buster, one things' got me confused.  Why did they
kidnap Fifi, anyway?"
        Chris:  "I believe that I can answer that question Babs.  I've been
thinking about enrolling at Acme Loo, when the school year starts.  Since I
didn't know anything about it, I did some checking up, and found several
references to Perfecto, and Roddy Rat.  I found out about a little game
called the Acme Bowl?  Is that right Buster?"
        Buster:  "You mean, that this whole thing was about the _Acme_Bowl_!?!"
        Chris:  "Well, when Roddy saw, or rather felt my strength at work,
he probably thought that I would be an unstoppable football player.  So, if
he and Rubella kidnap Fifi, and hold her ransom as my leaving Acme Acres
never to return."
        Buster:  "Then they wouldn't have to worry about losing the Acme
Bowl again!"
        Chris:  "Wait, it gets better.  After they would get rid of me,
Perfecto would bet half of everything it owns on itself.  Then when it won,
The only way to pay them off, would be to give them total ownership of Acme
Acres, and the surrounding areas.  Land rights, water rights, mineral
rights, you name it."
        Babs:  "Excuse me, but am I to understand that we went through all
this, for a lousy FOOTBALL GAME, THAT ISN'T EVEN SUPPOSED
TO HAPPEN FOR ANOTHER THREE AND A HALF MONTHS!?!?!?!?!?!?!"
        Buster:  "Sure Babsie!  Why, Chris here would be unstoppable!"
        Chris:  "Not quite Buster."
        Buster:  "Eh?  What do ya mean?"
        Chris (almost whispering, everybody leans close to hear what he's
saying):  "Ya see, I don't play football."

        Buster looks at him dumbfounded.
        Shirley:  "Like, I hate to be rude, er sum junk, but how do we get
out of here?"
        Fifi:  "Easy!  We just follow zee rats!"

Fade out

Fade in
        Ext.  We are back where we left off outside.  About 100 feet from
the DeLorian, we notice something that we missed earlier.  A couple of
wooden doors, laying on the ground (like a cellar).  From about two feet
away, we can hear some muffled talking.
        Babs:  "Some exit.  Fifi, are you _sure_ this is the way they went?"
        Fifi:  "Eef ah were more sure..."
        Chris:  "Hey, hey, hey you two!  Do I have to play 'den mother'
here, or what?  Just hold on a sec."

        Suddenly, the doors fly open.  The wooden bar that was keeping the
door shut is shattered.  Pieces of wood go flying everywhere, as the doors
'slam' against the ground, their hinges squealing.  Buster and Babs hop out
of the cellar, followed by Plucky and the floating Shirley the Loon.  Chris
emerges next, and then reaches back inside, helping Fifi 'out'.
        Plucky:  "Well, at least we're out of there."
        Fifi:  "Et joost een time, too.  Look!"

        The six toons turn to see what Fifi is looking at.  There, in the
eastern sky, the sun is just beginning to rise.  Buster and Babs, holding
hands, look deeply into each others eyes, their ears entwining.  Fifi and
Chris' tails are tightly winding around each others bodies, as they embrace
in a long, and passionate kiss.  Plucky is standing next to the hovering
Loon, and turns to her.
        Plucky:  "Hey Shirl, give ya any ideas?"

        Shirley turns to see what the two couples are doing, and then looks
at the hopeful Duck.
        Shirley:  "Like, just one, er sum junk."

        She closes her eyes, and hovers near Plucky.  She gives him a quick
'peck' on the cheek, and then flys backward a couple of feet quickly..  She
snaps her fingers, and, (you guessed it) the Duck gets a two ton anvil on
the head.  With only his beak showing, a rather agitated Plucky speaks
rather slowly.
        Plucky:  "Gee Shirl.  Thanks for the, oomph, mixed emotions (groan)."

_______________________________________________________

Epilogue

        It happened a while back, and made me wonder (mostly about my own
sanity).  A rather upset Plucky Duck, and Fifi La Fume drove up to my house
in Fifis' car (which my neighbors are still asking about).  They walked
into my home, and down to the basement where I work on my computer, in a
small room.
        HellCat (not believing my eyes as they walk in):  "Plucky!  Fifi!
Come in!  Come in!  Sit down!  What can I do you for?"

        Plucky, being the well, individual that he is, hops up and sits on
the desk, next to the computer.  Fifi, on the other hand, sits down on a
pillow, sitting on a small milk-crate, next to my 'bananna-chair'.
        Fifi:  "Bonjour monsieur, 'ellCat.  We have come to talk zee, how
you say, business avec vous."
        HellCat:  "Oui!"
        Fifi:  "Whether or not eef vous noteeced eet, vous left zee
plot-'ole in your last storee."
        HellCat:  "Skunknapped?"
        Fifi:  "Non, To Travel."
        HellCat:  "Ah yes!  I received an E-mail comment about that."
        Fifi:  "So, are vous goeeng to tell zem about eet?"
        HellCat:  "Them?  Who them?"
        Fifi (a little frustrated):  "Zee readers!"
        HellCat:  "I know Feef.  I was just giving ya a hard time.  I guess
I'll just tell the story to them, via telling it to you.  That okay?"
        Fifi:  "Fine weeth me."
        HellCat:  "Allrighty then, it all started when Chris was first in
Acme Acres."

        Flashback to Weenie Burgers.  We see Chris Pew standing at the
counter, talking to Slappy Squirrel.  Fifi, Babs, and Shirley are sitting
at a booth.  We notice something, that we didn't see before.  Sitting in a
booth behind the three girls, is Montana Max, eating.  Monty turns his
head, and listens closely to the girls' conversation.
        Monty (quietly):  Huh?  So, that skunk's trying to snare another
boyfriend eh?  Heh, heh, heh.  Not after I get _this _ spread-around!"

        We watch Monty leave his seat, and casually saunter out the door
whistling to himself.  Chris is now seated with the girls, and they are all
busy eating.  All but Babs.  She notices the way that Monty leaves Weenie
Burgers, and that he left half of a burger at his table (not typical for
Montana Max).
        Babs (getting up):  "Could you excuse me for a moment?"
        Chris (swallows hard on what he is eating, and then answers her):
"Sure Babs."

        Babs rushes out of the door, in the same direction that Monty left
in.  Babs runs for about half a block, before skidding to a halt, and
running down an alley toward Monty.  He is talking to Plucky.
        Plucky:  "Yeah, right Max.  And I'm the tooth fairy."
        Monty:  "I'm serious Duck.  He's..."

        Monty suddenly notices the very unhappy pink rabbit glaring at him,
with her arms crossed.  She appears to get more unhappy by the minute.
        Monty:  "What do _you_ want, hair for brains?"
        Babs:  "Plucky, I think you'd better leave."
        Plucky:  "Fine with me." (talking to himself as he walks away).  "I
can't believe that I just paid Max five bucks, so he could tell me some
crazy lie about Fifi going out with a robot.  Sheesh!"
        Monty (turning to Babs):  "So, whadda ya want?"
        Babs:  "Your mouth shut would be a good start!  I can't _believe_,
no, wait.  I guess I actually _can_ believe that you'd do something like
this."
        Monty (becoming impatient):  "Yeah, so.  What're ya gonna do about it?"

        Babs motions for him to lean close.  He leans his head in, to hear
what she has to say.  She whispers something into his ear.  As she does
this, his eyes grow wide with fear.  He then takes a step backward.
        Monty:  "You wouldn't dare!  I've got lawyers!  I'll sue!  I'll...
I'll..."  (noticing that Babs isn't joking)  "I think I'll leave now."

        Strangely enough, Monty does just this.  He puts his hands in his
pocks, turns, and leaves.  Babs just smiles to herself, knowing that her
job here is finished.  We can hear Chris talking to somebody in the
distance.
        Chris:  "Maybe he's seen her.  Hey pal!  Have you seen a pink..."
        Monty:  "AAAAUUUUUUGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!  Help!  Police!
MAD SKUNK!!!

        We look at Babs.  She is laughing to herself.

        Flash forward to where we left off in my basement.
        HellCat:  "And that's how Babs told _me_ it happened."
        Fifi (looking happier than when she first arrived):  "Merci
monsieur.  At least now zee plot-'ole eez, how you say, feeneeshed."
        HellCat:  "Quite."  (I then turn to Plucky).  "And I'm sure that
you wanted something too."
        Plucky:  "You're darn right!  About your last story."
        HellCat:  "To Travel?"
        Plucky:  "No, Skunknapped.  How come Chris gets Fifi, Buster gets
Babs, and all I get is an anvil."
        HellCat:  "If you're complaining about Shirley giving you a quick
kiss Plucky, I could always just edit that out, and have her hit you with
the anvil, and forget the kiss all together."
        Plucky:  "NO!!!!"
        HellCat:  "Then what's your complaint?"
        Plucky:  "Uh, I forgot."
        HellCat:  "Good."

_________________________________________________________

        All characters used in this story (with the exception of Chris Pew,
of course), are used without permission from Warner Bros.  Warner Bros.
owns copyrights to all of the toons, Acme Acres, Tiny Toon Adventures, and
whatever else you can think of that pertains to this story (besides my
character, Kodak, and other companies / other companies products).  I
personally hold all rights to Chris Pew.  I would prefer to know if you are
going to use him in a story.  If you are, then all that I request is that
you allow me to give script approval, _BEFORE_ publishing the story.
Thanks all!  Also, a special thanks to Kevin, for posting this on his web
site.  If you have any compliments, complaints, or criticism for me, then
write to - cneu@trib.com - .

                -HellCat

(Without laughter, there would be no true meaning in life).
        [personal observation]