A Really Bad Fanfiction by Brooke "Zuzu" Michelle (Zucccini@AOL.com) First off, I would like to say that this is intentionally going to stink. I am purposely combining elements of some of the worse stories I have ever read, so don't expect to recieve Grade-A stuff. This is merely for my enjoyment and so I can take a break from my drama story "Reunion". I left out notorious spelling errors for the most part; it's bad enough as is. Enjoy... if you can... BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! ________________________________________________________________________ Rex Powers vs The Cyborgs -by Rex "Fox" Smith I don't normally talk to people like you, but I suppose I'll lower myself to your level for today, for this story, for my story. My name's Rex. Rex Powers. I'm from a different planet... and I don't always bring peace... But today I do. *Hahahahahahahahah!* (Note: author has put in ** marks and laugh track so you can tell when characters are trying to be funny.) Today was a beautiful day in Acme Acres. I knew it would be perfect because today was the day I was going to attend Acme Loo for the first time. Such a nice school... not like my last one, where my best friend got eaten by the principal *hahahahahahahah*. But that was back on my home planet, 32xMax. An odd name, I realize, but then again, I'm an odd guy *hahahahahahah*. And a very handsome fox! As I was walking to school that day, I saw a beautiful creature skip by me. She had purple fur, a long bushy tail, and a figure to die for. "Bonjour," she said, spotting me. "Yo. 'Sup?" I replied. She giggled. "Wow, you're hot! Will you go out with me?" (Reminder: Fifi has no accent. What are you talking about?) Suddenly, we were under attack! Cyborgs popped up everywhere! "Destroy... Rex... Powers. And... his little... friend, too!" they shouted. "Gasp! We are under attack! And me without my protective lip gloss *hahahahahah*!" shouted Fifi. But she had nothing to fear, really. I was with her. I quickly pulled my laser gun from my backpack and started shooting the bad dudes all at once. They fell like dead flies. "Studly One!" shouted Fifi. "Behind you!" I yawned, turned around, and karate chopped the last cyborg. "Boy, it's a dull day." *hahahahahah* She was so beautiful, I turned and gave her a kiss. She began melting in my grasp. "I'm Fifi," she told me, an hour later when she had finally revived from the kiss *hahahahahah*. "I know. I could tell because I can read minds." She gasped. "Wow! I mean, ooh la la! That's cool!" I told her my name, and I offered to walk her to school. I thought that was the end of the attacks, but I was wrong... School was great, if not a little boring. I upstaged the teachers by proving to them I was better than they, which led them to bowing down to me. By lunchtime, I was known by all as the "Big R". "Wow, Big R," said Buster Bunny. "You sure are cool!" "Yeah! I think you are the coolest thing since my aura *hahahahah*!" said Shirley. Plucky was beside her. She kissed him as they confessed their true love for each other. (Note: Characterization slows a story down.) Babs said,"Wow! A new student and already everyone loves you! You even got Plucky and Shirley together!" Just then, a beautiful rabbit walked into the caffeteria. Buster did a wild take, and I knew there'd be trouble. "There's that Lauren Rabbit character, again!" said Fifi. "Always strutting her stuff." "I don't know, gang," I said. "She looks familiar to me..." Later that day, Buster offered to take Lauren Rabbit home. Babs was in tears. "I thought he loved me!" she sobbed. I put my hand on her shoulder and gave it a soft squeaze. "There, there." She looked up. "Oh, Big R! You are sooo cool!" She jumped up and kissed me on my cheek. "Hot cha cha!" I said. "Hot cha cha cha *hahahahah*!" The next day at school, Buster was in a daze. I asked what was wrong, but he just sighed. Suddenly, Lauren came up and sat next to him. Then it dawned on me. "You! It's you! The evil sorceress from the planet Goami!" She morphed into her true form, and I grabbed my laser gun. She called out and suddenly an army of cyborgs were in the school! I couldn't handle THIS ONE alone. "Toonsters! We must unite as one and fight these devils!" I shouted. From everywhere, toons came out and began karate-chopping the evil bad guys. Fifi did a tail thrash. Buster did a bunny-kick shabang. Plucky flew around and did nose-dives on 'em. Shirley blew stuff up with her powers. Furrball clawed them to death. Babs got out her pom-poms and whacked their heads together while cheering for the school to "Go team!" *hahahahahah*. And finally, I melted them with my big gun. "Wow! You're the coolest, Big R!" sighed Fifi as she did an axe kick to a cyborg fiend. I decided the toonsters didn't need my help. They were, after all, trained in at least 8 different levels of various martial-arts and street fighting techniques all suited to their personalities. So I headed for the big fish; Sorceress Lauren! "You there!" I shouted. "You are going down! Downtown, all the way!" She laughed, obviously underestimating me. I took out my laser and shot her fingernails off. "Gag! I need a manacure *hahahahah*!" she screamed. "This isn't over yet, Rex Powers!" As she left, so did the cyborgs. We were safe... for now. I knew she'd be back. In the meantime, I would date Fifi and Babs and Buster would quarrel about what really went on between Buster and Lauren. Kids will be kids! *hahahahahahahahahahahah* THE END... OR IS IT? _______________________________________________________________________ I figured "Well, gee, I didn't win anything in the 'all time greatest' polls, so why not go for the 'all time worse' elections, aye? -Brooke p.s. Please! Don't anyone write a story like this ever! This is a good example of a bad example!