"A Really Very Special Tiny Toon Adventures Thanksgiving...I
guess"
Written by: Mike Cote  (E-Mail Mikote@aol.com)
     This document is Copyright 1994 by Mike Cote and may not be
revised from it's original form without express written consent of the
author, so don't even think about it...and besides, my uncle's a
heartless lawyer and would sue your pants off if you tried to.
       TINY TOON ADVENTURES & ANIMANIACS character
names, and all related indicia are Copyright 1993 by Warner Bros.,
Inc., a Time Warner company.
     This story is about finding the right person; that special someone
in your life who you can share those tender moments with. 
Sometimes, that certain person is not easy to find...(On the other
hand, a few of you women out there can't seem to find a good guy
if he's standing right in front of you, and then you go out and tell
your friends how all the good guys on the face of the earth have
already been snatched up, leaving so many of us good guys to live
our lives wondering when WE are going to find anybody!!!!!!!  But I
digress...)
     ON WITH THE STORY...
     It was November in Acme Acres, and all the leaves were turning
from green into their bright fall colors.  Squirrels in local parks were
busily gathering nuts for the harsh winters that can quickly befall in
southern California.  The shopping centers in Acme Acres were
busy gathering Santa beards, Nativity scenes and flashing plastic
Christmas trees, preparing for the harsh onset of the Christmas
shopping season, that can quickly befall in southern California.
     Over at Acme Looniversity, the students were all looking
forward to a nice, four-day weekend come Thanksgiving.  Many
had made plans to visit distant relatives, some prepared for intimate
little dinners with their immediate family, friends, and/or significant
others.
       It was Tuesday morning of Thanksgiving week.  Buster and
Babs were lounging around in the student union building during a
mutual off period.     "Hey, Buster, do you have any plans for
Thanksgiving?"
     "Well..."  Buster thought hard about the consequences of
answering the question truthfully.  "No."
     This, of course, was exactly what Babs wanted to hear.   She sat
up with excitement.  "Great!  Then you can come over to my house
and have Thanksgiving dinner with my parents and grandparents
and aunts and uncles and cousins!"
     Buster slapped himself in the forehead as hard as he could.  "I
KNEW I should have said yes," he said under his breath.
     "I heard that," replied Babs coldly.  "What do you have against
my family, anyway?"
     "Aw, GEEZ, Babs!  Every time I go see your family I always
feel like their judging everything I say and do!"
       "You make it sound like a BAD thing,"  Babs added slyly. 
"You know what your problem is with them, don't you?  My family
only wants the best for me, and you're afraid you don't meet their
standards, right?"
     "No I'm not," Buster snapped back, very defensively.  The
conversation took on a more heated tone.
     "Well, then what's the problem?"
     "No problem!  If anybody's good enough for you, than I am!"
     Babs was less than amused with Buster's presumption.  "Oh
yeah?!  What makes you think you're good enough for me?"
     "Oh, please,"  Buster retorted without thinking,  "remember a
long time ago when you had that crush on Kirk Cameron?  HE was
good enough for you!  And what does he do now?  He's probably
eating a can of Vienna sausages while standing in the unemployment
line!"
       Babs curled up her lip in anger.  "Hey!  You said you were
never going to mention that again!  Do you think that YOU'RE
some big hunka hunka burnin' love, here for me to shower my
affection on?  We'll just see about that!"  Babs stormed out of the
building, and Buster knew enough not to go after her when she was
that upset.
       Buster sat heavily back into his chair in quiet contemplation. 
Just then, Plucky wandered into the student union with his head
sunk low.   The mallard took a seat next to Buster and began
banging his head on the table repeatedly.  Buster, still hung up about
the exchange with Babs, did not even notice.
     Plucky stopped his head banging momentarily.  "I just did
something really, really dumb!  I mean, I've done one or two dumb
things in my life, but this one takes the cake.  I was talking to Shirley
a little while ago, when she asked me what I was doing for
Thanksgiving, and I told her NOTHING!  Now she wants me to
have Thanksgiving dinner with her at that spooky old cottage she
lives in!  I'm probably going to have to listen to her ramble on and
on about all that weird  new-age stuff she's into all night!  She
probably won't let me watch the football games either!  I am NOT
looking forward to it!"  Plucky resumed his skull cracking which still
went totally unnoticed by Buster, who put his chin in his palm.
     Not long afterward, a smiling Hamton skipped over, humming
the title song from "The Sound of Music".   "Hey, guys" said
Hamton brightly, taking a seat at the table and not noticing Plucky's
self-destructive behavior.  Hamton took a brown paper bag out of
his backpack, and removed a meat loaf sandwich.
     Buster and Plucky continued head banging for a couple of
seconds before it sunk in that Hamton was not in a bad mood at all. 
They both stared at him in amazement.
     "What're you so happy about?" asked Plucky vehemently.
     Hamton beamed at Plucky.  "Well, a few minutes ago, I asked
Fifi if she would come over to my house for Thanksgiving and have
dinner with my folks, and she said yes!  Oh boy, I can hardly wait to
introduce her to Uncle Stinky and my grandparents!"
     Plucky looked at Hamton in disbelief, rolled his eyes, and
resumed his head banging on the table...

     Meanwhile, Babs was storming through the halls of the main
building when she ran into Shirley at her locker.      "Like, hi Babs!"
     "GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
     "Like, it didn't go so well with Buster, did it?"
     Babs dropped her shoulders.  "You could say that."
     "Like, I totally know what you mean!  It was like, pulling teeth to
get Plucky to come to my house for Thanksgiving dinner, or some
junk."  Shirley looked at her watch.  "Whoa, Babs, if we don't
hurry, we're going to be, like, totally late for the seminar."  Shirley
levitated and floated off to a special instructional workshop
exclusively for female toons, "Finding and Keeping the Right Guy",
and Babs trudged along behind her.
     Babs and Shirley got to the lecture hall just in time to hear that
the lecture was going to be delayed for a few minutes because the
guest lecturer,  Dot Warner, was running late.  Dot had been put on
this lecture circuit thanks to a cartoon public action group: the
Professional Reformational Order of Zany Animated Characters
(PROZAC for short),  a group which helps oddball characters find
outlets in which to put their unusual talents to use for the betterment
of society.  (The founding members include Screwy Squirrel,
Woody Woodpecker and Bimbo the Dog.)
     Fifi walked in a few minutes late and took a seat near Babs and
Shirley.  She was a nervous wreck.  "Hi, Fif," said Babs.  Fifi
leaped up out of her seat and hit her head on the ceiling.  When she
landed back at her desk, she was in even worse shape.
     "Like, what's wrong with you, Fifi?"
     Fifi turned around toward Babs and Shirl, trembling like a
southern California aftershock.  "H-h-hamton wants me to go to
heez house for Zangsgiving deener to meet heez grandparents!"
     "Oh, don't worry about that," said Babs.  "Hamton's
grandparents are the sweetest people I've ever met!  They're kind of
weird, but they're still sweet."
     "Are you sure about zat?  What if zey don't like me?"
     "Don't worry,"  Babs told her,  "they'll LOVE you!"
     Fifi settled down a bit, feeling more reassured.  She felt good to
have two friends like Babs and Shirley that she could count on for
emotional support.
     "Wow, she must, like, really be paranoid, or some junk,"
whispered Shirley to Babs both of them attempting to talk behind
Fifi's back.
       "Yeah, I know," Babs whispered back.  Suddenly, Babs had a
revelation.  "You know something, I bet Buster and Plucky are
nervous about meeting our families, too!"
     Shirley looked at Babs with amazement.  "Wow, do you, like,
really think so?"
     "I bet that's what it is.  Buster knows that my dad really doesn't
like him very much."
     "How come?"
     "I don't know," said Babs.  "Buster has told me that he wants my
dad to like him, but he always seems to give him wrong impressions. 
Like a few months ago when Buster threw me that birthday party
over at his house..."
     "Oh, wasn't that, like, the one where we all got tired and fell
asleep?"
     "Yep, that's the one.  My dad wasn't too happy when I didn't get
home until the next morning," Babs added flatly.
     "Like, what happened after that?" asked Shirl.
     "Let's just say that Buster's been avoiding my dad like the plague
ever since then."
     Just then the door flew open, and into the room stormed Dot
Warner, very steamed about something.  Dot went up to the front of
the room.  Nothing could be heard but the sound of her heavy,
angered breathing.
     "MEN ARE SCUUUUUUUM!!!!!!!!" yelled a rather unhappy
Warner sister.
     Babs leaned toward Shirley.  "I think she's upset about
something," she whispered to her.
       "What is the big deal about meeting family?!" continued Dot. 
"You invite your boyfriend over for a nice breakfast with your
friendly and loving brothers, and what happens?!  They run out of
the water tower screaming!!"
       Dot stormed down the aisle and stared straight in the face of
Babs, who was taken aback.  "Oh, suuuuuure, you may think you
know your nice, sweet little bunny boyfriend!  But just wait until
you take him to meet your family!  Then you'll find out what kind of
boyfriend he REALLY is!!!"  She changed her tone immediately to
one of friendliness.  "So, how are you and Buster?  I haven't seen
you two in a while."
     "Oh, we're fine," answered Babs, still a little leery of Dot.
     "Well, you two should drop by sometime," said Dot cheerfully. 
"Why don't you two come by the tower this evening for dinner? 
Yakko is going to make burritos, and Wakko is baking some
cookies!"  Dot's face suddenly became more stern, "Unless you have
a problem with my family, too!"
     "No!" Babs answered quickly.  "No problem at all!  We'll be
there!"
     "Great!" Dot said happily.  "Is six o'clock okay for you guys?"
     "Sure," answered Babs, exercising the better part of valor.  A
gleeful Dot skipped off toward the front of the room.
     Shirley leaned over and whispered in Babs's ear.  "Are you and
Buster like, really going to go tonight?"
     "It looks like we have to," Babs whispered back to Shirl.  "The
Warners aren't exactly friendly to people who don't accept their
invitations."
     "But I thought you told me that Buster and Yakko like, totally
don't get along, or some junk."
     "Well, they kind of don't," answered Babs.  "Buster always gets
jealous and defensive because he thinks Yakko is always hitting on
me.  I just hope Buster understands when I tell him...."

     "WHAT?!!!"
      "Look, Buster, it wasn't my idea," Babs tried explaining to him
when she saw him in the halls after school had ended.  "Dot told me
that she wanted us over to the water tower for dinner!  What was I
going to do?  Tell them no, so we would become their 'Special
Friends' of the day?"
     Buster, realizing that he was going to have to go through an
excruciating repast with the Warner trio, rolled his eyes skyward. 
"Oh, all right," he said none too enthusiastically.  "But if Yakko so
much as looks at you cross-eyed, I'll..."
     "Buster, I don't want any trouble from you tonight,"  Babs
snapped at him.  "I've just about had it with your immature jealousy
tantrums, especially when Yakko is just trying to be friendly.  Let's
just go to dinner and try to have a good time."  Buster began to walk
away from Babs like a scolded puppy.  Babs sensed that Buster was
worried about more than his encounter with the Warners.
     "Buster," Babs called to him.  Buster stopped, but did not turn
around to face her.  "I'm sorry I got angry at you.  Are you all
right?"
     "Yeah, I'm fine," Buster said quietly.
     "No you're not.  What's the matter?"
     "I don't want to talk about it," answered Buster defensively.  "I'll
meet you at the water tower tonight."  Buster limped off, leaving
Babs to wonder what was troubling him....

     Just after classes had ended, Fifi went directly to the
Looniversity Library.  There, she began looking up books pertaining
to "parents" and "family values".  Fifi managed, with some
difficulty, to track down a few books on the subject of parent/child
relationships.  She took a seat at a nearby table and began reading. 
Fifi read her books for nearly two hours, studying up on the inner
workings of families, birth order and only children, and several
other matters that she felt she needed to know before her encounter
with the Pig family.
       A few minutes later, a walking pile of books was walking by
Fifi's studying area, when one of the webbed feet under them
stubbed it's toe on the leg of her table.  "Ouch!" yelled the duck
inside the pile of books, as he dropped them to the ground.  "Of all
the stupid..."
     "Bonjour, Plucky."
     "Yeah, right back at ya'," said Plucky as he sat down at Fifi's
table, in order to nurse his smarting digit.  "This has been one bad
day."
     "Ah have nehver seen you in ze library before."
     "Yeah, well, I usually wouldn't be caught dead here, but I needed
to come and check out some books about astrology, and rock
formations and all that other weird stuff Shirley's into."  A cold chill
ran down Plucky's spine.
     Fifi tried as delicately as she could to hide her reading material. 
She put her arm on one of the books and began to gently slide it
away from Plucky's line of sight.
       Suddenly, Plucky reached out and swiped the book from under
Fifi's arm.  "So, what are ya' readin' about?"  Plucky looked at the
book's cover, and saw the title:  "Your Children and You".  "Wow,"
said Plucky, somewhat surprised, "are you really this worried over
meeting Hamton's folks?"
     "Oui," responded the skunkette sadly.  "Ah do not know much
about being a part of a famillie."
     Plucky realized that he had a golden opportunity to learn quite a
bit about Fifi's past, of which little was know about in Acme Acres
gossip circles.  "You wanna talk about it?" Plucky asked her as
innocently as he possibly could.
       "All right, but promeese me you weel not tell anyone else."
      "Ohhhhh, you have my word," Plucky told her, holding up his
right hand.  "I won't tell a soul."  Fifi felt reassured, but was
unaware that Plucky's left hand, hidden under the table, was drafting
in a small notebook a letter, which read:  "Dear Acme Looniversity
Times, would you be interested in an exclusive interview with Fifi
La Fume about her family life?"
     "Well," started Fifi, "I came from a very lahge famillie.  I was ze
fifth child in a famillie of nine.  Mah parents and I were never very
close."
     Plucky stopped writing and put his notebook away.  "Gee," he
said quietly, "I didn't know that."
     "Maybe ah am soucieux, ah mean, how you say, worried, about
meeting Hamton's famillie?"
     "Really?  You're worried about meeting Hamton's family?" 
Plucky was tempted to tell her about the trip to Happy World Land,
and the vacation inPalm Springs.
     "Oui, and someone named...Uncle Stinky?"
     While Plucky did feel some sympathy for Fifi, he knew better
than to show it.  "Well, I gotta be goin'," he said as he gathered up
his reading material, "see ya' later..."

     Meanwhile, Babs's mom dropped her gorgeous, gifted, talented
daughter off in front of the Warner Brothers studio lot.  Babs went
inside the gate and waited nearby for Buster.  For the entire two
hours after her talk with Buster, Babs wondered why he seemed so
depressed.  She could think of nothing.
     Babs waited for nearly fifteen minutes before Buster walked in
the gate, still very upset.  "Buster, what's wrong?"
     "Nothing,"  Buster said flatly.
     "Buster," she said in a concerned tone, "please tell me what's
wrong.  Was it something I did?"
     Buster stared at his feet.  "I don't want to talk about it."  Buster
began walking toward the tower.  Babs had no idea what to make of
it, but she knew something was very wrong.
     Buster stood outside the tower door and waited for Babs to
climb up the ladder.  Babs knocked on the door, and a few
moments later the door swung open.  Yakko, wearing a chef's hat,
leaned out of the doorway and smiled at Babs.
       "Hellooooooooooo nurse!"  With that, Yakko kissed Babs on
the cheek and yanked her inside.  Buster's face turned red and was
about to storm inside, but before he could, Yakko slammed the door
into Buster's face.  Buster peeled his face off the door.  In anger,
Buster kicked at the solid steel door, but only managed to crush his
foot.  While he was hopping around in pain, Dot reopened the door
and grabbed Buster's hand.
     "Hello, Buster," she said.  "Come on in!"  Dot pulled Buster
inside the tower.
     Dot tossed Buster onto the living room floor, where he saw
Wakko, holding a plate of burritos, being carded by Pete Wilson and
Mike Huffington.  Wakko showed them his California resident card,
and the two cronies left.  "Wow," said Wakko, "they're serious
about these new anti-immigration laws."
     "Why did they card you, Wakko?" asked Dot.
     Wakko pointed down to his serving tray.  "The burritos."
     Buster sat up and looked around the room, but couldn't find his
squeeze.  "Where's Babs?" he asked. 
      Dot zipped over to Buster and laid his head on her lap.  "Oh,
what do you want with her anyway...when you could have me?"
       Buster quickly got up and began looking around for Babs. 
Wakko pointed over to the kitchen.  "I think they went in there." 
Buster ran off as Wakko dumped the tray's contents into his mouth. 
"Deee-licious!"
     In the kitchen, Babs was helping Yakko toss a salad.  Yakko
walked over behind Babs and proceeded to help her (in as close of
proximity as he could manage).  "So, what is it you see in Buster
anyway?" he asked her just before Buster walked into the room.
     Yakko saw Buster and jumped quickly away from Babs.  "Oh, hi
Buster, heh heh.  Didn't see ya' there!"
      "Oh, hi Buster," Babs said cheerfully.  "I was just helping
Yakko with dinner!"
     Buster was about to say something, but remembered Babs
wanted him to keep himself under control.  He grumbled to himself
and left the kitchen.
     As he went back into the living room and sat on the couch next
to Wakko, Buster noticed the younger of the male Warners staring
in toward the kitchen.  Buster leaned over and tried to see what he
was looking at, to no avail.  Suddenly Wakko turned toward him.
     "Do you mind if I ask you a personal question?" asked the
middle Warner child.
     "Uh, I guess not," Buster answered a bit guardedly.
     "Do you really love Babs?"
     Buster was enraged.  "What's THAT supposed to mean?!  Are
you after Babs too?!"  Buster got right in Wakko's face and stared
him down.  "'Cause if you are, I'm gonna tear you a new..."
     He looked over toward the kitchen, and saw Babs, Dot and
Yakko standing at near the door.  Yakko could not understand what
was happening.  Babs was visibly upset.  She stormed toward
Buster, and pulled him away from Wakko by the collar.  She then
gave the Warners a big, self-conscious smile.
       "Will you excuse us for a minute?"  she said.  Babs dragged
Buster across the floor toward the Warner's front door.  Babs flung
the door open and tossed Buster out onto the tower's scaffolding. 
She followed him out, and slammed the door behind her.  The
Warners raced up to the door and put their ears against it.
       Outside of the tower, Babs stood over her boyfriend, who was
still lying on the ground.  Flames shot up out of the background. 
"BUSTER BUNNY!!  I told you about making trouble tonight!!  I
want an answer and I want it NOW!!!!!!"
       Buster tried to crawl away from Babs, but before he could get
very far, Babs grabbed him by the shirt and threw him against the
wall.  She looked at him eye-to-eye, sneered at him, and asked: 
"WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?!!!"
       Buster began sweating heavily.  He nervously tugged at his
collar.
     "WELL?!!!!"
     No sooner than had Babs said that, water tower door accidentally
flung open.  The Warner brothers and their sister fell outside onto the
scaffolding.  Their eavesdropping had been discovered.
     The Warners looked among them selves and began to assess
blame.
     "YOU were leaning on the door too hard!"
     "Was not!"
     "It wasn't me!"
     "Hey, don't look at me!"
      "It was Dot."
      "It was NOT me!  It was Wakko!"
     "Me?  ME?!!!  It wasn't me!!"
     "QUIET!!!!!!!"  yelled an angry Babs.  "Look, I'm not in the
mood to fight right now.  Why don't we all just go inside and have a
nice, quiet dinner?"
        With that, the Warner clan went indoors.  Babs stared Buster
down and told him: "After dinner, you and I are going to have a
talk."
     A few minutes later, all present company sat down around the
Warners' kitchen table preparing to eat their volatile foodstuffs. 
Yakko made it a point to sit in between Babs and Buster, nudging
Buster aside so he could be closer to the girl bunny.  Babs looked
for Buster to react, but he did nothing.  He was too wrapped up in
his own thoughts to even notice.
     Yakko too realized that Buster was not paying much attention to
anything around him, and decided to make his move.  He slowly put
his arm around Babs's waist and began whispering something in her
ear.
     Meanwhile, Buster was thinking to himself.  "Geez, I HATE
telling Babs things like this!  I never know how she's going to react
to them!  I never know how she'll react to ANYTHING!"  Only
now did Buster notice Yakko's movement into Buster's territory, and
Babs not doing a whole heckuva lot to discourage him.  Buster
looked down at his plate, just as Wakko's fist grabbed his burrito
from his plate.
     "Are you gonna eat yours?" he asked semi-politely.  Buster did
not immediately answer, and Wakko whisked the burrito away.
       The conversation between Yakko and Babs soon engulfed Dot,
and the three of them were yammering away for several minutes,
leaving Buster to listen between them and Wakko's devouring
everything on the table.  Wakko had started sucking up the
tablecloth and candelabra, when he noticed something amiss with
Buster.  He quickly inhaled the remainder of the cover and sat down
next to the sulking rabbit.
     "What's wrong?  Something you want to talk about?"  asked
Wakko.
     Buster was about to say something to Wakko, when he realized
that he might not be the best one to talk to.  "I dunno."
     "Aw, c'mon!  You know you want to get it off your chest!"
     Soon Buster realized that he was going to have to tell someone. 
Why not Wakko?  What could it hurt?"
     Buster whispered something quietly to Wakko.     "Really?  I
didn't know you worried about not being good enough for Babs!" 
Wakko exclaimed.
     A dead silence fell over the tower.  Yakko, Dot and Babs stared
at Buster and Wakko.  Buster buried his face in his palm with
embarrassment.  Wakko smiled sheepishly.  "Oh, you didn't want
me to tell anyone, did you?"
     Babs, sensing overwhelming awkwardness, got up and told
Yakko, Wakko and Dot:  "I'm sorry, but I think Buster and I should
be leaving."
     All three Warner children's faces dropped.  "Awwwww!"  they
said.
     Babs took Buster gently by the hand, and they went off toward
the door.  The Warners followed them out, trying to get them to
stay.
     "Aw, come on!  Don't you want to stay and discuss your
feelings?" asked Yakko.     "We can help!  We're good listeners!"
added Dot.
     "You didn't even try any of my cookies!" protested Wakko, who
was not far from tears.  "I spent ALL DAY on them, too!"
     "I'm sorry, guys," said Babs apologetically, "but I think Buster
and I really need to talk to each other."  The bunnies went out the
front door, and closed it behind them.
     "I have no idea what he sees in her," Dot said as an afterthought. 
"Why doesn't he just find someone else...like me!"
     "Beats the heck outta me, sister sibling," Yakko told her as she
went to the dining area to clean up.  Then, turning to Wakko, he
whispered: "If you ask me, those two would be perfect for each
other."
     Wakko raised the part of his forehead where his eyebrows
should be.  "Why do you say that?"
     "Because that would make Babs available!"  he answered to
Wakko, winking and nudging him with his elbow.  Yakko walked
off, leaving Wakko to think deep thoughts...
     After Buster and Babs left the tower, they both went inside the
now inactive "Tiny Toon Adventures" soundstage on the far end of
the lot.  Babs flipped on some lights, and the two rabbits looked
around the building, which was now being used as a warehouse.
     "I never did like this place," said Buster, "but I really do miss
it."
     "Yeah, we had a lot of fun here," Babs added.
     The two rabbits took a seat on a small wooden crate sitting in the
middle of the floor.  Babs gently took a hold of Buster's hand.
       "Why didn't you tell me, Buster?"
     Buster couldn't even look Babs in the eyes.  Babs put her hand
under Buster's chin and turned his head toward her.
     "Buster, I love you," she said softly.  "I know you and I have had
our troubles, but we've overcome them.  Do you know why we
have?"
       "No," Buster whispered to her, barely audible.
     "Everytime we've had a problem, we've talked to each other. 
That's all we've had to do."
     Buster immediately realized Babs was saying something far more
important than resolving his problem.  Babs was asking him to
finally break out of his shell, and trust her, unconditionally.  Buster
tried hard to look Babs in the eyes.  He wanted to tell her his
feelings about Thanksgiving, about their relationship, and most
importantly, how he felt about her  He could not manage to tell her
anything.
     Babs waited for Buster to tell her something...anything, but he
remained silent.  She leaned over and kissed him on the cheek, then
pulled his head onto her shoulders.  The two bunnies sat there in
silence for nearly two hours until Babs's mom came to pick her up. 
Buster walked her out to the car, which was waiting in front of the
gate.  They kissed each other goodbye, and Buster started down the
sidewalk.  It was already dark, and Babs did not want Buster being
alone.
     "Buster," she called to him, "do you want a ride?"
     "Okay," he said, and walked back.
     Before Buster got into the car, Babs took his hand and said to
him:  "Buster, I really want us to be close.  I want us to be able to
talk to each other when we need to.  Please say you'll try."
     Buster climbed into the backseat, without saying a word.  Babs
felt herself die a little bit inside.
     "Hi mom," said Babs as she opened the front door.
     "Mom?" Babs's dad answered, searching under the seat for
something.  "You're mom went over to a friend's house
to....YOU?!!!!!!!"  Dad's fur stood on end as he saw Buster in the
backseat.  He expanded his barrel chest to full extension.  "What are
YOU doing here?!"
     "Whoops," said Babs quietly.
     Dad began rolling up his sleeves.  Buster sunk low in the
backseat, trying to put as much distance between himself and Babs's
father as possible.  "H-h-hi, M-m-mister Bunny!"
     "It's not bad enough I have to spend my Thanksgiving with you,
is it?!  Oh, no!  Now I have to be you chauffeur too?!!  His face
turned a fiery red and became distorted.  
"MMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!"
     Buster flung his door open and shot out of the car.  Babs looked
out the back window, and could only see a red and blue blur race
out of sight....

     The familiar tune of "Pop Goes the Weasel" could be heard
throughout the house as Wade and Winnie spent their Tuesday night
as they always do...scrubbing out the kitchen.  Young Hamton was
in the living room with his best friend Plucky, who had invited
himself over to watch "Melrose Place" on Hamton's big-screen TV. 
As Plucky drank his third of Hamton's sodas, a commercial came on
TV for "The Psychic Hotline".
     "Oom," chanted the spokeswoman for the Psychic Hotline,
"have you ever wondered what's really out there?  Then call the
Psychic Hotline and find out everything from the zodiac to why the
Republicans have just taken over Congress.  Call me at 1-900-FAR-
OUTT."
     An announcer added:
"Callcostsnineninetyfiveperminuteminimum-twentyminutecharge. 
Visa, Mastercard, and Acme Express accepted."
     "Oh, brother," commented Plucky.  "Everywhere I go,
something is right there to remind me that I have to go over to
Shirley's house for Thanksgiving dinner!"  Plucky sat back in his
easy chair.  "This is going to be one bad week."  Plucky began
chugging his cola.
     "Aw, cheer up, buddy," said Hamton cheerfully.  "My
grandparents will be here any minute!"
     Plucky spit out his drink.  "Your grandparents!  Uh, I gotta get
home, right now!"  Plucky raced toward the door.  As he got there,
the door swung open and smacked him right in the face.
       "Halloo, everybody," yelled gramps.
     "We're here," yelled grandma.
     Hamton ran to the door to greet them.  "Bubby!  Pappy!  You're
here!"
     "Right you are, Hamp'n," said Pappy.
     Hamton helped his grandparents bring their bags inside from the
porch,  and Gramps shut the door.  "Well, if it isn't Mister Plucky
Duck!"  Pappy exclaimed as he picked up Plucky by the bill.
     "You're looking a little thin, Hamp'n's friend Plucky," said
Bubby, "but we'll fix you up good before we go.  I got a special liver
and onion recipe to put some meat on those bones of yours."
     Plucky extricated himself from Pappy's grasp.  "Uh, hello, nice
to see you again, but I just remembered I have to go...uh, shut off
the iron!"  Plucky rushed outside the door toward the street, when
Pappy's outstretched arm grabbed him by the back of his shirt.
      "Hold on there, Mister Plucky Duck," the mallard heard as he
was yanked back inside the house.
     "And just where do you think you're skipping off too, Plucky?" 
asked Mrs. Pig when he was indoors again.  "Why, you haven't even
had a piece of my special coffee cake!"  With that, the Pig family
and Plucky went into the dining room, where they were served
coffee cake and milk.
       "Stinky ought to be in by tomorrow, Dad," said Mr. Pig.
     "Good.  You know, we haven't seen your brother Stinky in
almost three years."
     "What luck," Plucky grumbled to himself.  "I'd give
ANYTHING not to see either one of them for three years!"
     "What's with this picking at your coffee cake, Hamp'n's friend
Plucky?"inquired Bubby.  "Maybe that's why your thin like a
starving coyote."
     Bubby walked around the table, took Plucky's fork off of his
plate, and started a game of "airplane".
     "Here comes the plane in for a landing, Hamp'n's friend Plucky! 
ZOOM!"
       Plucky watched in disbelief at what was going on.  He hung his
mouth open momentarily, when Bubby shoved a large piece of
coffee cake into his mouth.  Plucky looked around the table. 
Everybody sitting around it began to giggle.
     "There, that wasn't so bad, was it, Hamp'n's friend Plucky?" 
Bubby pinched his cheek, and sat back down.
     "So, how have your grades been, Hamp'n?" asked Pappy.
     "Great!  On my last report card, I had all A's!"
     "Well, aren't you the smart little piglet," said Bubby, as Hamton
turned red with embarrassment.
     "And what about your grades, Mister Plucky Duck?"
     Plucky wasn't sure what to say.  "Uh...that is...I...uh..."
     "Well, Plucky just doesn't like school that much," Hamton said.
     "Doesn't like school?!  Let me tell you something, Mister Plucky
Duck,knowledge is the most important thing..."
     Plucky put his head down on the table and hoped that this
evening was just a nightmare.  When Pappy had finished his speech
on the importance of education, Plucky looked up.  It was not a
dream but, fortunately, Mrs. Pig changed the subject.
     "We're going to be having a special guest with us for
Thanksgiving dinner, right Hamton?"
     Hamton blushed further.  "Uh-huh.  My girlfriend is coming
over!"
     His grandparents' faces lit up.  "Oh, Hamp'n, that's wonderful!" 
said Pappy.
     "I bet our little Hamp'n's quite the lady-killer," Bubby said to him
with a nudge.  Hamton giggled nervously.  "So, what's she like?"
     "Well, her name's Fifi, and she's a skunk."
     "Okay," Plucky thought to himself, "they're busy talking to
Hamton.  If I sneak out right now, they'll never notice in time."
     The conversation about Fifi continued.  No one noticed Plucky
slide down underneath the table.  In covert fashion, Plucky crawled
out from under the table and looked out toward the front door.  It
was about twenty feet across the living room, but it might as well
have been twenty miles.  He quickly surmised a escape plan. 
"Okay, I'll jump behind the couch, crawl on my belly to the
Ottoman, somersault to the loveseat, swing across the light fixture to
the door, and I'M OUTTA HERE!"
     The Pigs were well into their conversation about Fifi, when
Plucky made his break.  His plan was going well until he reached the
loveseat.  "Wow, that ceiling's a lot higher than I thought." 
     Suddenly Plucky heard "Now where did that Mister Plucky
Duck run off to?"  Plucky knew it was now or never.  With a cry of
"BANZAI!", Plucky jumped toward the light fixture, and missed it
completely.
     "Oh, there you are, Hamp'n's friend Plucky!  My but your a
frisky one!"  Mr.  Pig walked over and dragged the duck back to the
table.
     "You really should relax Plucky," he said, just before breaking
out into a haunting rendition of "Pop Goes the Weasel"...

     The next morning, Babs went over to Fifi's house so they could
walk to school.  Fifi stepped out of her junked car.  They both saw
that the other hadn't gotten much sleep that night.
     "What happened last night?  You look terrible!" said Babs.
     "Well, you don't look zat much better!"
     The two girls started on their way to school.  On the way, Fifi
began telling Babs how she had stayed up all night reading about
family relationships.  "I hope zat heez grandparents like me."
     "Oh, of course they (yawwwwwn) will!  Don't worry about it!"
     "Ah no zat I should not worry, but I've been reading in zese
book, and zay say zat ze grandmother of ze family is always zah
hardest one to please."
     "Really, Fif, don't worry about it!  There's nothing they won't
like about (yawwwwwn) you."
     "So, why have you been up all night?"
     Babs paused.  "Uh, it's between Buster and I.  I'm not sure he'd
want me talking about it.  I think Buster's also a little scared about
going to my house for Thanksgiving."
     Just then, the two girls passed the hill, on which stood Shirley's
home.  Shirley dragged herself outside, and met up with Babs and
Fifi.
     "Good morning, Shirley," Fifi said politely.
     "Like, I was totally looking forward to Thanksgiving, but now
I'm like, not."
     "Welcome to the club," Babs said sourly.
     The girls got to the Looniversity a few minutes later.  Fifi
stopped by her locker to pick up some books.  From across the hall,
they could see Bugs Bunny stepping out of the prinicipal's office. 
He looked inside and said: "Well, I'm soitanily glad to see new
students taking advantage of everyting we have to offer here.  You
could have gone anywhere, but you decided to go straight to da
Loo.  Welcome aboard!"
     Babs's curiosity began to rise.  "I'll be back in a minute, I just
want to see who the new students are!"
       Babs trotted over to the office.  "Hey, Bugs!  Who are the new
students?"
     "Eh, I tink dey're acquaintances of yours."
      Babs stepped into the office, and was surprised to see who was
standing in front of her.  "Oh, hi," she said, a bit taken aback. 
"What are you guys doing here?"
     "We've decided to enroll!"
     "Correction, YOU decided to enroll!"
     "I don't want to be here!"
     "Wow, that's....great," Babs told them.
     Meanwhile, Buster walked into the building and saw Shirley and
Fifi looking down the hall toward the principal's office.
     "Hey, girls."
     "Like, hello Buster."
     "Salut."
         "Well, salut to you too, Fif," answered Buster.  "Have you
seen Babs around anywhere?  I really have to talk to her."
     "Yeah," answered Shirley.  "She went over to the prinicipal's
office to meet some new students.  Is, like, anything wrong?"
     "Yes, there's a lot that's wrong, and it's all my fault.  I really
need
to talk to her about it."
     Buster walked over to the prinicipal's office.  Bugs was still
standing near the doorway looking inside.
     "Hi ya', Bugs.  Is Babs still in here?"
     Bugs looked at him with trepidation.  "Eh, yeah, but I don't tink
you want to go in dere right..."
     "Thanks," said Buster as he went inside.
     He reached the doorway, and was taken aback by what he saw. 
Babs was standing inside a large, smothering embrace.
     "Why don't you just get rid of Buster?  He's no good for you
anyway!" the new student whispered in her ear.  Babs looked very
uncomfortable the embrace, and tried to get out of it as gently as she
could.
     "Really, I'm very flattered, but..."
     "Oh, come on Babs.  Buster doesn't even trust you enough to tell
you his problems!  How can you two stay together like that?"
     Buster had seen and heard enough.  He stormed off down the
hall, without anybody's notice.
       "Yeah, but Yakko, Buster and I..." Babs started to tell him,
when she stopped suddenly.  "Look, I've got to go."  Babs left in a
hurry out of the office.  Yakko watched her leave, then had a seat
between Wakko and Dot, who were sitting in nearby chairs.  He
grinned in satisfaction.
     "Yep, I think she wants me."
     Dot looked at him suspiciously.  "Just what color is the sky in
that world of yours, dear brother?  She's never going to leave Buster
for you!"
     "Oh, don't be too sure, sister sibling," Yakko said slyly to Dot. 
"I think that little remark about them not being able to communicate
might just have done it!"  He let out a wide smile at Dot, and then
turned to Wakko.  Wakko appeared oddly offended by Yakko's
comments, and turned away."What's with you?"  Yakko asked his
brother, to which he received no reply.Yakko shrugged his
shoulders and sat back quietly, wondering what size ring Babs
wore...

     After Babs's first class, she went by Buster's locker to go with
him to their next class, but Buster was nowhere to be seen.  Just
then, Fifi was passing by.
     "Hey, Fif, have you seen Buster?"
     "Oui, I saw him before class zis morning."
     "You saw him this morning?"
     "Oui," answered the skunkette, "just after you went into ze
prinicipal's office.  He was looking for vous."
     "Uh-oh," Babs said to herself quietly.  "Did you tell him I was in
there?"
     "Non," answered Fifi.
     Babs wiped her brow in relief.  "Whew!"
     "...But Shirley deed," Fifi added.
     Babs cringed in pain, and rushed off down the hall to class.  As
she flew down the hall, several thoughts raced through her mind. 
"Oh no, what did he see?  Maybe he didn't see anything.  Maybe he
didn't want to talk to me right then.  But maybe he did!  I have to
talk to him before anything happens!"
       She reached Professor Fudd's class just in time to see him
introduce the two new pupils.  "Evewybody, I'd wike you to give a
nice, warm wewcome to Yakko and Dot Warner!"
     A bunch of benumbed groans were let out.
     "Aww wight, you two can sit down now."  Yakko and Dot went
to take their seats.  Fudd turned toward the door and saw Babs
come in late.  "Babs, where have you been?  You know I don't wike
people coming in wate to my cwass!  I'm vewy, vewwwy,
disappointed!"
     "Sorry," said Babs as she took her seat next to Buster.  Sitting
right behind her was Yakko, and seated behind Buster was Dot. 
Buster was shifting around uncomfortably.  Babs looked over and
saw Dot's feet firmly placed through the hole in the back of Buster's
chair.  Buster gave her a dirty look, and Dot decided to move them.
     "Now then, cwass," started Fudd, "today we are going to talk
about the cwassic poems of the gweat Word Bywon..."
     Taking out a piece of paper and pencil, Babs started to write
Buster a note.  "Buster, we really need to talk."  She folded the note
up several times and threw it onto Buster's desk.  The exact same
moment her note hit Buster's desk, an identically folded note hit her
desk.  Babs looked back  and saw Yakko staring dreamy-eyed at
her.  Babs looked over to Buster, who opened and read her note,
crumpled it up into a ball, and tossed it aside.  Babs felt her blood
boil.  She glared at him, and then opened up Yakko's note.
     The note read: "See!  He just ignored your note!  Get rid of him
and start going out with me!"
     Babs looked back at Yakko, who looked at her longingly.  She
could hardly believe what was happening.  The more she tried to get
closer to Buster, the more he backed away.  The more she tried to
back away from Yakko, the closer he tried to get.  Yakko's behavior
might have been just because he was Yakko, but she could not
understand Buster's attitude.  He was just too worried, it seemed,
about something he shouldn't be worried about.  Of course Babs
didn't think she was too good for Buster.  Why didn't he see that?  "I
love you, Buster," she thought to herself as she looked toward him. 
"We're going to get married someday.  Why don't you trust me?"
     Her train of thought was interrupted by: "Babs, would you wead
the sewection fwom Don Juan?"
     Babs quickly opened her book and found the poem.  Fifi turned
back to her and pointed out where they were.  She cleared her
throat, and began.
     " 'Tis melancholy, and a fearful sign of human frailty, folly also
crime, that love and marriage...um, rarely can combine.  Although
they both are born in the same clime; a sad, sour, sober
beverage...by time - is sharpened from its high celestial flavor, down
to a very homely household savor'."
     "Thank you, Babs," said Professor Fudd.
     Almost immediately, another note dropped onto Babs's desk. 
She opened it, and it read: "Even Byron knows you two shouldn't
be together!  Get rid of him!  Come with me, and we'll live happily
ever after!"
     When she finished reading the note, she was struck with several
thoughts about her and Buster's relationship.  "Maybe Yakko's right. 
Our relationship is NOT going anywhere.  I want us to be close, but
Buster doesn't seem to want to get closer to me."  Another note hit
her desk, reading:  "You're darn right you're relationship isn't going
anywhere!"
     Buster looked over at Babs, and saw that she was hurt.  He
wasn't sure what to do, then decided to write her an apologetic note. 
"Babs," he wrote, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to ignore your letter.  I'm
just angry.  I want to talk about this with you.  I need you to
understand how I feel, and I want to know how you feel.  I need
you, Babs."
     Buster folded the letter up and was waiting for an opportune
moment to toss it over to Babs.  Unfortunately, Fudd had started
asking her about the section she had just read.
     "And what was your weaction, Babs?"
     Babs tried to hide her overwhelming sadness.  "He was saying
how love rarely becomes marriage....and when it does...it just goes
bad anyway!!"  Babs, overcome by emotion, burst into tears, and
ran out of the classroom.
      Buster watched, both in horror, and fascination at the
impeccable timing at which it had occurred.  He tossed the letter
aside, just as one landed on his desk.  It read: "See, it's over between
you two!  Tell ya' what, I'll take Babs, and you can go out with
Dot!"  Buster slammed his head against his desk...
     Babs had to go somewhere she knew she couldn't be found.  She
ran into the library's basement, and into the film vault.  It seemed
deserted.  It would be a good enough place to sit and cry.  Babs
went into one of the two viewing rooms and took a seat in the dark. 
After a few minutes, she had managed to cry herself to sleep.
     Her conscious thoughts appeared in her dreams.  She saw herself
in the future, desperately clinging to Buster for emotional support,
something he could not provide for her.  Despite being sound
asleep, she knew that Buster and her were coming close to the end. 
They could not move forward without mutual trust and respect,
something Buster was trying to avoid.  "If he can't trust me to be
there for him," she said to herself in her dream, "how can we stay
together?"
      Some time later, she was awakened by the clanking of a film
canister, and the motor of a running projector in the next room. 
Babs looked at her watch.  "Three-thirty!  I've slept through the
entire day!  But, nobody should be down here now.  No one ever
comes in here after school, especially on the day before a vacation!"
     Babs walked into the next projection room.  On the screen was
one of the final sequences from "thirteensomething".  Buster and
Babs were staring into one another's eyes.  Said Buster: "I'm nothing
without you.  You're my better half!"  "Yeah, but my better half's
nothing without your half."  Babs caught herself mouthing the line
to herself as she watched it.  Suddenly, whoever was watching the
film burst out into tears.  Babs sniffed the air, which smelled faintly
of wet acrylic and polyester (among other things).  "Buster?" she
asked to the person watching the film.
     Babs shut off the projector and flipped the lights on.  "Is that
you, Buster?"  Sitting in the front row amid several canisters of
"Tiny Toons" episodes and crying his eyes out....was Wakko. 
"Wakko?  What are you doing here?"
     Wakko looked up at Babs, and wiped his eyes.  Babs went over
and took a seat next to him.
     "Are you all right, Wakko?"  she asked.
     Wakko sniffed, and Babs put her arm around him.  "I'm sorry,
Babs.  I'm taking this just as hard as you are."
     "I know you are," she said.  "How long have I known you,
now?"
     "Since 1988."
     Babs held the sobbing Warner in her arms.  "That's a long time. 
Then, remembering the occurrence at dinner the night before, she
said: "Thanks for letting me know what he told you, and don't even
try to tell me it was an accident."
     Wakko stiffened his upper lip, and tried his hardest to smile. 
"Babs, if you need me, I'm here for you."
     Babs kissed him on the forehead.  "I know.  You've always been
there for me when I've needed you."  Babs saw that Wakko was
saddened by the thought of her losing her one true love.  "I still love
him, Wakko.  I always will.  Yakko's not going to change that. 
Nothing will."
     "I only want the best for you, Babs," he said, trying desperately
to hold back his tears, "promise me you won't give up on him."
     She was suddenly silenced.  "I can't promise you that, Wakko. 
Buster just can't seem to understand that he and I need to be able to
communicate with one another.  He's hasn't learned that, and I'm
not sure he ever will."  She looked at Wakko, who could only look
back at her, and hung his head.  Babs reached over and wiped a tear
that rolled down his cheek, and did her best not to cry too.
     They kissed each other, and Babs told him: "You know, Buster's
really lucky I didn't meet you first."  Babs rewound the film, turned
the lights off, and they sat down and watched cartoons far into the
evening...

     The phone rang.  Buster turned over and looked at the clock on
his nightstand, sitting right beside the picture of Babs.  It was two
o'clock in the morning.  Buster grabbed his cordless phone and
turned it on.  "Hello?"
     "Buster, it's me."
     "Babs?!  Where have you been?!  I've been trying to call you all
night!"
     "I was watching cartoons at the Looniversity with...a friend of
mine."
     "Babs, what's..."
     "Buster, listen to me."  Buster noticed an overwhelming sadness
in her voice.  "I can't go on like this.  I've tried as hard as I can, but
I
just can't go on anymore.  Please try to understand."
     Buster didn't want to believe what he was hearing was real. 
"Babs?  Are we..."
     "I'm sorry, Buster," she said just before bursting into tears.  She
calmed down enough to say:  "You can still come over tonight for
dinner."
     "Okay," he said quietly.  "I'll be there."  He shut the phone off,
and sat quietly on his bed for several minutes in total disbelief.  "I've
lost her," he said to himself...

      Shirley woke up at five on Thanksgiving Day morning to water
her herb garden.  She went outside in her robe, and looked over the
outlying area.  Much of Acme Acres was still asleep.  The only
visible light, other than the slowly arising sun, was coming from
Hamton's house.  Shirley knew that his family always got up early
Thanksgiving morning to watch the Macy's Thanksgiving Day
parade.  She took a deep breath of morning air, and began watering
her plants.  Looking down over the other side of the cliff, she
noticed another light on in the town.  She could not tell exactly
where it was coming from, but it was in the general direction of the
Acme Acres Junkyard.
     She got dressed, and made her way down to the wreckage yard,
and confirmed her suspicions.  She knocked on Fifi's rusted door,
and it fell off it's hinges.  Shirley poked her head inside the door,
and she saw Fifi, totally exhausted, reading another book.
     "Guy, Fifi!  You look horrible!  What have you been doing?!"
     "Oh, I have been up night and day reading zese books."
     "Whoa, Fifi, you totally need to sleep, or some junk!"
       Fifi looked at herself in the rearview mirror and saw huge bags
under her eyes.  "I am a, how you say, mess!  And I have to be over
at Hamton's at trois!"
     "Don't worry about anything, Fif!  I know a hypnotic thingy
that'll help you like, totally help you fall asleep!  Just lie down." 
Fifi
did as she was told.  Shirley raised her arms high in the air and
began a karmic chant.  "Oh whataloon Iam!  Oh whataloon Iam!"
     Fifi felt her eyes begin to get heavy.  In no time she was sound
asleep.  Shirley set Fifi's alarm clock to go off at one-thirty.  "There,
she should like, be asleep for a while..."

     Buster had been tossing and turning all night.  It was only nine
o'clock in the morning, and he was already wide awake.  "Darn," he
said to himself, "I haven't been up this early in along time."  He
reached over to his nightstand, and removed a picture of Babs from
it.  He looked at it for several seconds.  "She loves me," he thought
to himself.  "Babs, you've tried as hard as you could, I know you
have.  This is all my fault.  I had all of these doubts, and I never
gave you a fair chance to help me get rid of them.  Just give me one
more chance, Babs. I need you.  Just don't leave me for...Yakko." 
He could barely get himself to say it.
     Almost immediately afterward, the phone rang.  "Hello?" said
Buster, wondering who would be calling him this early in the
morning.
     "Buster?  This is Yakko."
     Buster's voice was filled with malice.  "What do you want?!"
     "Listen, this stuff with Babs...I'm sorry.  I don't want to stand in
between you two.  I'll leave her alone."
     Buster couldn't understand the change of heart that had so
quickly befallen Yakko.  "Huh?"
     "Look, don't ask why.  Just take care of her," and Yakko hung
up.
     Wakko took the phone from his brother's ear and put it down. 
"Okay, I did what you wanted," Yakko told him, "now will you
please untie me from the stake before those flames get much
higher!"  Wakko obliged with eagerness...

     A quiet night came to an abrupt end, as the doorbell sounded. 
Plucky got up out of bed and went to the door.  "Yeah, yeah, I'm
comin'!"  Plucky shook off the cobwebs as he got to the door,
seeing a smiling, happy Hamton standing at the door, holding a
covered serving tray.
     "Happy Thanksgiving, Plucky!" shouted Hammy.  "I brought
you something my grandma made!"
     "If there's a turkey under that thing..."
     "Oh, don't be silly, Plucky," said Hamton as he lifted the tray's
cover.  "It's a special cinnamon coffee cake!"
     Plucky less than graciously took the cake from Hamton, removed
one slice, and shoved the rest of it in Hamton's face, Plucky's little
way of saying "thanks for the wonderful evening the other night". 
Hammy fell to the ground as Plucky shut the door on him.
     From inside, Plucky took a bite of his piece of the cake.  "You
know," he said to nobody in particular, "this coffee cake isn't half-
bad...."

     "Wakko, what are you doing here?" asked Babs.
     "Listen, I think I've finally convinced Yakko to leave you alone."
     Babs was somewhat surprised.  "Really?  You did that?  How in
the world did you manage to do that?"
     "It wasn't easy," Wakko told her, "but it sure was fun!  Listen,
Babs, I know that you and Buster have been having your problems,
but please, don't throw it all away."
     "I called him last night.  It's over."  She waited for a reply, but
it
didn't come.  "Wakko, tell me something, why are you so concerned
about me andBuster?  He doesn't even like you, and I'm not so sure
the feeling isn't mutual."
     "Yes, it's true, he's not my best friend in the world...but it's not
him I'm worried about, it's you.  I want you to be happy, Babs, and I
know he makes you happy.  I....really do care about you, Babs."
     Babs saw in Wakko's face and heard in his voice what he didn't
have the courage to say.  She put her arms gently around him.  "I
know you do.  I care about you too, Wakko."  She started to feel a
warm attachment toward him,  something she had never felt for
anyone other than Buster... or maybe it had been there for sometime
without her noticing it.  Wakko returned her embrace.  Babs began
to notice how relaxed she felt in his arms.  She stared deeply into his
eyes, and said: "Wakko, would you like to go for a walk with
me?"...

     Plucky pushed the doorbell, and a harmonic rendition of
"Kumbya" was heard throughout Shirley's house.  "I hope I'm not
too early," Plucky said, looking at his watch, "I don't wanna spend
anymore time here than I have to."
     The door creaked open by itself.  Plucky cautiously stepped in
and took a look around the long entrance hall.  He saw no one.    
Plucky walked further into the hallway, and flinched as he saw
something floating by him.  He sniffed the air, which reeked of
incense and potpourri.  The house's interior was made entirely up of
bare stone.  Plucky felt the cobblestone floor beneath his feet as he
crept slowly toward Shirley's living room.
     Suddenly, Plucky saw a bookcase on one of the walls begin to
turn around.  He felt his heart begin to race.  Out from behind the
bookcase walked Shirley.  "Like, hiya Plucky!"
     "Shirley!  You almost gave me a heart attack!"
     "Oh, don't worry about that!  If you have one, I can like, call you
back from the dead, or some junk!"  Plucky frowned at her.
     "This is a pretty...weird place you've got here."
     "Do you like it?" she asked hopefully.  "It like, used to belong to
Nostradamus!"  She whispered into his ear: "Sometimes, if you're
like, listening real close, you can like, totally here his voice!"
     That was all Plucky needed to hear.  He dashed off toward the
door and struggled to open it.  No luck.
     He looked back at Shirley, and a deep purple aura began glowing
around her.  "Like, what's going on?" she asked.  Suddenly, in a
flash of light, a floating spirit overtook her body.  "Ah," said the
poltergeist, "a young male duck!  You're form is just what I need to
reenter this earth!  HA HA HA!"  With that, Shirley yanked a large
hacksaw out from behind her back.  "But first, I'll have to remove
your brain!"
     Plucky backed up into a wall, as Shirley's poltergeist approached
him.  "Uh, Shirl..."
     "SILENCE!"
     The duck was paralyzed with fear as Shirley continued to
advance toward him slowly.  "Just relax, this shouldn't
hurt...MUCH!!!!"  Shirley began to laugh maniacally as she poised
the saw on his forehead.  Just before she began to saw, another
purple aura surrounded her.  As quickly as the supernatural form
had entered her body, it left.
     "Whoa," she said, a bit befuzzled, "like, that hasn't happened to
me for a while now!"  Then, changing the subject, she asked
Plucky:  "So, do you like, want to help me make some tofu
casserole?"  Plucky lost consciousness, and fell backward to the
ground...

     The alarm went off, and Fifi awoke.  She looked at the clock,
and said: "Sacre bleu!  I must get ready to go to Hamton's!"
     For the next hour and one-half, Fifi showered put on makeup,
picked out ribbons for her hair, showered, reapplied makeup, picked
out different ribbons for her hair, showered yet again...and repeated
the process several times.  It was time for her to leave.  She took a
last minute peek at herself in the mirror, then was off to Hamton's.
     In a few minutes, Fifi found herself standing outside Hamton's
yard.  She watched Bubby and Winnie through the kitchen window.
     "Hi, Fifi!" Hamton yelled over to her as he opened the front
door.  He eagerly ran across the yard, and politely opened the front
gate for her.
     "Zank you, Hamton," she said as she entered the yard.
     Hamton walked her up to the door.  "I'm really glad you came.  I
hope you like my family."
     "Oh, Ahm sure I weel," she told him as she entered the house.
     In the den, Wade, Pappy and Uncle Stinky were sitting around
the big screen watching highlights of the great Macy's Thanksgiving
Parades.  Bubby and Winnie were just taking the turkey out of the
oven.  Fifi began to feel self conscious even before she had met
anyone.
     "Hey, everybody!  This is my girlfriend Fifi!"
     Everybody in the house, in unison, turned to her, smiled and
yelled: "Hi ya', Fifi!"
     Fifi smiled weakly, and subtly waved to everyone.  "Come on in,
Fifi," said Mr. Pig.  "You want to watch this parade highlight film?"
     "Don't by shy," Hamton told her as he led her into the living
room.  The two sat down on the couch.  Fifi found herself squeezed
in between her piggy companion, and Uncle Stinky.
      Pappy arose slowly from his ergonomically designed easy chair,
shuffled his feet over toward her, and shook her hand.  "It is very
nice to meet you, what is your name again?"
     "Fifi," she said politely.
     "Fifi, this is my grandfather," Hamton told her.
     "How do you do?" she asked him.
     "Well, my arthritis is acting up a little today, and I ate a little
too
much of my Bubby's delicious coffee cake, so, I'm a little irregular."
     Pappy went slowly back to his chair and sat down.  Fifi tried as
best she could to dismiss his comments, and feel more comfortable
with her situation.  She put her arm on an armrest for a while, until
she realized that there was no armrests in the middle of the couch. 
She looked over and saw her arm on a roll of flab hanging over
Uncle Stinky's belt.  Fifi quickly took her arm away, and scooted a
little nearer to Hamton's side of the couch.
     "I wonder what ever happened to that balloon of Babe Ruth they
used to have on this parade," Pappy thought out loud to himself.
     "I don't know.  I haven't seen it for a while," answered Mr. Pig.
     "Boy, they just don't make balloons like those anymore."
     Just then, a call of "Hamton" was heard from the kitchen. 
Hamton got up and ran inside, leaving Fifi alone on the couch with
Uncle Stinky.  The sound of the flies perpetually encircling Uncle
Stinky filled her head.  She scooted further toward the other side of
the couch.  Fifi stuck two fingers in her ears, trying to escape that
incessant buzzing sound.
     A few moments later, Hamton came back.  "Fifi, my mom wants
to know if you'd like to help them in the kitchen?"
     Fifi would have opted to wade through an open sewer than
spend anymore time next to Uncle Stinky watching old
Thanksgiving Day parades.  "Okay," she told him.  Hamton led her
into the kitchen.
     Inside, Bubby and Mrs. Pig were chopping up some vegetables. 
"Hello, Fifi," said Mrs. Pig.  "Have you met my mother-in-law,
dear?"
     "No, madam Pig."
      Bubby looked down at her.  "Oh, Hamton, she is the cutest
thing I've ever seen!  Just a minute, let me go get my camera!  Don't
go anywhere!"
     Bubby left the room, and returned with her 35 millimeter, auto-
focus, high speed, Polaroid instant color camera.  She looked
through the lens and prepared to take a photograph of the happy
couple.  "Now, you two stand a little closer together."  Hamton put
his arm around Fifi, and Bubby took the picture.  A blinding flash
of light sent Fifi reeling...

     "Why didn't you ever tell me you felt this way about me before?"
     Wakko paused.  "Well, I mean, I knew how you felt, I mean,
how you feel about Buster.  I didn't want to come in between you
and him."
     Babs kissed him again.  "You're very thoughtful, Wakko.  If I
didn't know you as well as I do, I never would have guessed that
about you."     Babs turned on her portable stereo.  "You want to
dance?"  she asked.
     Babs put her arms around Wakko, and he did the same.  K-
ACME started playing a slow tune by REO Speedwagon.
     Babs looked into his eyes.  He looked back at her.  "I can't fight
this feeling any longer, and yet I'm still afraid to let it flow..."
     They danced close.  Wakko noticed Babs inching closer and
closer to him with each passing minute.  "What started out as
friendship has grown stronger.  I only wish I had the strength to let it
show..."
     Wakko felt his hands getting sweatier as the moments passed. 
He felt himself getting more and more uncomfortable with the
situation.  "I tell myself that I can't hold out forever...I said there is
no reason for my fear, 'Cause I feel so secure when we're together. 
You give my life direction, you make everything so clear."
     Suddenly, a thought began to evolve in Wakko's head, as Babs
stopped dancing.  She leaned in closer to him, and gave him a long,
passionate kiss." 'Cause I can't fight this feeling anymore...I've
forgotten what I started fighting for.  And if I have to crawl upon
the floor, come crashing through your door, baby, I can't fight this
feeling anymore."
     Their lips separated.  Wakko had never experienced anything like
it, but he knew it wasn't meant for him.  He stared into Babs's eyes
and gave her the message without saying a word.
     "You're right, Wakko," she said to him softly.  "I can't give up on
Buster.  I tried to convince myself that I could, but I can't."
     "I know," he said.  "Ever since I met you, I've known."
     Babs took him by the hand and told him: "Buster is really, really
lucky I didn't meet you first."  Babs kissed him on the cheek, and
they walked back to her house...
     "Okay, I think we can discuss this calmly," Plucky said as he
backed into the wall.  "Look, Miss...Borden,  just put down the ax!"
     "Lizzie Borden took an ax and gave her mother forty
whacks...when she had seen what she had done, she gave her father
forty-one!  HA HA HA!"  Shirley inched closer and closer, her ax
ready to strike.  Suddenly Lizzie Borden's spirit exited her body, and
she was back to her normal self. 
     "What's going on?!"  Plucky asked, exasperated.
     "Like, I don't know, but something must be like totally wrong!" 
Shirley whipped out her "Dionne Warwick Pocket Astrology Chart"
and looked it over.  "Hmm, nothing strange here."
     "Don't be too sure," grumbled Plucky.
     Shirley held her crystal necklace up to the light of the window,
and closely observed the spectrum.  "Nothing.  This is like, really
strange, or some junk."  She rubbed her chin, then had an idea.  "I
know how I can figure out what's happening!  We need to have a
seance!"
     "Whoa, no, I don't want any part of one of those," Plucky
protested.  Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed that the Jeffrey
Dahmer spirit was making its way toward Shirley.  "On second
though, let's go have that seance!"
     Shirley led Plucky into a dark room she had made up especially
for recalling spirits.  She threw Plucky into one of the chairs around
the table, and took his hand.  Shirley went into a deep meditation.
     She started levitating, then began to speak unintelligibly for
several seconds.  Plucky tried hard to listen, and he soon began to
make out some of the words.  "(Mumble mumble mumble) non-
believer!  (Mumble mumble) Heretic!  Degrader!  (Mumble)
Dishonorable one!  PLUCKY!"  Shirley opened her eyes slowly. 
"Is that what you really think about me?"
     "No!  It's a lie!" yelled the duck, having no idea what he was
denying.
     "Do you really think that I'm...spooky?"
     "That's not what I meant at all!  I just think that all this weird
stuff you're into is..."  He looked over at Shirley, who hung her
head.
     "That is like, what you think, isn't it?"
     "I...uh...that is to say..."
     Mrs. Pig gazed into the bowl, followed soon after by Bubby. 
Fifi turned red with embarrassment.  "Boy, you are a cute girl," said
Bubby flatly, "but you sure can't toss a salad."
     "That's all right, honey," Mrs. Pig told her, as they left to finish
up the mashed potatoes and gravy.
     While Fifi knew she might have to help in the kitchen when she
came, she had severely overestimated her culinary ability.  She
looked into the bowl.  What she saw was not a salad, but a disaster. 
The only reason they had her tossing the salad was to atone for the
hard roll fiasco which had taken place only a few minutes before.
     Hamton walked into the kitchen.  "When is dinner going to be
ready, mom?"
     "In just a while, Hamton.  Why don't you just go and watch the
rest of the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, 1984?"
     "Okay," said Hamton.  "Do you want to come, Fifi?"
     "No, thank you," she said.
     Mrs. Pig took out a large stack of plates from the cabinet.  "Fifi,
would you mind setting the table for me, dear?"
     Fifi saw this as a desperate attempt to get her out of the kitchen,
but accepted graciously.  As she put the plates on the table, she
heard the shuffling of pig feet coming into the dining room.  Pappy
walked into the kitchen, holding an empty can of soda.
     "Ah, I gotta go to the bathroom," he said.  On his way through,
he stopped, and turned back to Fifi.  "My Bubby doesn't want you
in the kitchen, does she?"
     "Non, I do not theenk so."
     "Ah, don't worry about that," he said, "you know, she used to be
a worse cook than you.  I could tell you stories about what she used
to do to our Thanksgiving dinners."  With that, he picked up his
pace to the bathroom.Fifi felt a lot better.  With her new found
assurance, she picked up the remainder of the plates, and promptly
dropped them on the floor, breaking every last one...

      "Who wants to say grace this year?"
     "I do!  I do!"
     "You said it last year!"
     "No I didn't!"
     "All right, all right!  That's enough!  Dot gets to say grace this
year!"
     Dot stuck her tongue out at Wakko.
     "I NEVER get to say grace," pouted the middle Warner sibling.
     The Warners all bowed their heads in prayer.  Sitting on the
table was a huge layout of food.  Dot begun her prayer for the
bounty.
     "Rub-a-dub-dub, thanks for the grub..."
     All three of them jumped up out of their chairs, and "high-fived"
one another, shouting: "Yeeeeah, God!"  As soon as they landed,
the kids began piling turkey, mashed potatoes, rolls, stuffing,
cranberry sauce, and everything else on the table onto their plates.
     Wakko was about to chow down, when Yakko grabbed his plate
away from him.  "Not so fast!"
     "What's wrong?"
     Yakko looked at him sternly.  "You still haven't told us where
you went to this afternoon!  You know we Warners have a tradition
of playing 'Twister' just before dinner!"
     Wakko began to fidget.  Yakko leaned in closer to him.  "This
doesn't have anything to do with that little Joan of Arc you pulled on
me this morning, does it?"  Wakko remained silent.  "AH-HA!  It
does!  You went to see her this afternoon, didn't you?!  You just
wanted me out of the way so you could have Babs all to yourself,
didn't you?!  Don't try to deny it!"  Yakko melodramatically put his
hand on his forehead.  "Oh, how sharper than a serpent's tooth it is
to have a backstabbing younger brother!"
     Yakko saw Wakko make a slow move toward his mallet, lying
next to him on the floor.  Before he could grab it, Yakko picked it
up, tossed it to Dot, and said: "Cover him, Dot!  I've got to put back
right what once went wrong...and hope that my next leap will be the
leap home!"  With that, Yakko marched out of the tower toward
Babs's house.
     Wakko made a move toward the door.  "Go ahead," growled
Dot,  wielding the mallet like an ax, "MAKE MY DAY!"
     "Dot?!  Why don't you want me going after him?"
     "If this means that Buster's going to be available, I'll stop anyone
that tries to stand in our way!"  She started laughing maniacally...

     "Come on in, Buster," Babs said as she opened the door for him. 
"Dinner will be ready in a few minutes."
     "Thanks," he said quietly.
     The two rabbits sat together on the couch.  Buster looked
around, and was surprised that he didn't see any of Babs's family
around anywhere.  "Gee Babs, where is everybody?"
     "They're in the dining room."
     Buster felt a sudden awkwardness.  "I don't know what I should
do here," he said to himself.
     "Buster," she said quietly to him, "if you want to tell me
something, I'll listen."
     "Well, it's now or never,"  Buster thought.  "But...I'm not sure if
I can."  Buster looked at Babs, who stared longinly in his eyes.
     "Buster..."
     "Babs, I know I haven't been everything that you've wanted me
to be.  I haven't been able to just come out and tell you things.  But I
want, I need you Babs.  If you'll give me one more chance, I
promise...I'll change."
     "You just did, Buster," she said to him with a smile.  The two
bunnies embraced warmly.
     "Does this mean we're back together?" he asked hopefully.
     "Does this answer you're question?" Babs asked him as she put
him on her lap and gave him a kiss.
     The two rabbits were so involved in their kiss, neither one of
them noticed Babs's father walk into the room.  "BABS, WHAT
ARE YOU DOING?!  I THOUGHT YOU GOT RID OF THAT
LOSER!!!!!!"
     Babs was about to say something, but Buster, filled with natural
instinct to protect what was his, jumped up off of the couch and
confronted him face-to-face, something he had not possessed the
courage to do before now.
     "Listen, Mr. Bunny, I know you don't like me, but I'm in love
with Babs!  I want to be with her for the rest of my life!  If you
don't like it, I'm sorry, but that's the way it's going to be!"
     Mr. Bunny looked at him, rather confused.  "Well, why the heck
didn't you just say so in the first place?  Geez!"  With that, Mr.
Bunny left the room.
     "See," Babs said slyly, "good things happen when you come
right out and say things."  Babs grabbed him by the hand.  "Come
on, let's go into my room."
     "Duh...duh...duh," said Buster all the way down the hall...

     Plucky and Shirley sat quietly around the dinner table picking at
their tofu casserole and bean curds.  "I KNEW something like this
was going to happen!"  he grumbled to himself.
     "Could you like, pass the teriyaki sauce, please?"  Shirley said
quietly.
     Plucky reached over and picked up the condiment.  As he
handed it to her, he felt a pit in his stomach.  "I probably should say
something," he thought to himself.  "I mean, not because I WANT
to, but I really should."
     Plucky reached across the table, and took the smallest leaf of
boiled cabbage in the bowl.  "You know, this is the best boiled
cabbage I've had in a while," he told her.  "Of course, this is the
ONLY boiled cabbage I've had in a while," he thought to himself.
      "Really?" she said with a glimmer of hope.
     "Oh, sure,  and these bean curds...Mm-MMMM!"     Shirley
beamed proudly.  "Wow!  Like, I had no idea you liked this stuff,
Plucky?  Why didn't you tell me?"
     "Oh, well, I um...I didn't realize how good they were until now!" 
He smiled at her, and faked a little chuckle.  "In fact," he was about
to go on...
     Suddenly, another purple aura started to form around Shirley. 
Only this time, she noticed it to.  "Shirl, what's happening?"
     "Like, I don't know.  But the aura is like, purple, and in the
ancient Ming Dynasty, purple was like the color of anger!  One of
the spirits in the house must be like, totally mad at something!"
     Plucky quickly looked around the room, and saw the Angel of
Death approaching Shirley, in order to take over her body.
     "No, wait!  I was lying!  I can't stand this stuff!!"
     Just as quickly as it had appeared, the spirit left.  Plucky wiped
his brow, not realizing he had a far worse fate in store for him.
     "You mean, you don't like this either?"  Shirley asked him.
     Plucky knew there was nothing left to do but come clean.  "No, I
don't," he said matter-of-factly.  "But Shirl, listen, I didn't come here
today because I like all of that creepy stuff you're into."
     "Then why did you come?"
     "Ah....well.  I came because...um...because..."
     "Did you, like, want to spend time with me, or some junk?  Is
that why?"
     "Uh...um...I, uh...Shirl, I don't know why."
     Shirley didn't want to resort to trickery, but she knew Plucky
wouldn't tell her otherwise.  She quickly went into a trancient state,
and began reading Plucky's thoughts.  "I knew it.  You love me."
     "It's a LIE!  I do not!"
     "Yes you do, Plucky."
     Plucky couldn't believe it.  His own thoughts had betrayed him. 
"All right, that's why I came."
     Up until now, Shirley had always seen Plucky as a selfish,
egotistical, obnoxious duck.  She now saw him in an entirely
different light.  She now saw a selfish, egotistical, obnoxious
duck...with a heart.  A largely unused heart, but a heart nonetheless.
     "Plucky, I had no idea you that you weren't a complete
sociopath.  You actually have like, feelings."
     "All right, I admit it...I've got 'em.  Just don't tell anyone,
okay?"
     The two waterfowl spent the next several hours conversing about
their true inner feelings.  Shirley taught Plucky how to get in touch
with his inner self.  Plucky then made some comment about getting
in touch with Shirley, which got him booted out of the house.
     "I told you, I'm waiting until marriage!"  Shirley tossed him out
on the porch.  He shrugged his shoulders, and said: "Well, it was
worth a shot...

"     "But, Dot!  Listen..."
     "Not one more word, unless you want to be mincemeat!"  Dot
waved the mallet toward Wakko.
     "But, you don't know what happened to me when I went over to
her this afternoon!"  Wakko preceeded to tell the story to his sister
of the encounter in the forest with Babs.  Dot's eyes began to tear
up.
     "Oh, that's so BEAUTIFUL!!!!"  Overcome by emotion, she
dropped the mallet onto the ground.  "Hurry up and get out of here
before I change my mind!"  Wakko wasted no time in scurrying out
of the tower...

     "I'll get the towel," said Mrs. Pig as she got up from the dinner
table.
     Fifi trembled nervously.  This evening was going worse than she
had feared it would.  Okay, maybe burning the biscuits could have
been excused, dropping Mrs. Pig's best porcilean dishes might be
overlooked.  But she had knocked over her water glass three times
in about ten minutes.  It wasn't going well at all, and Fifi sensed the
Pigs were becoming incresingly tired of her presence.  Bubby shook
her head.  Fifi waited for her to say "You're a very sweet girl,
but...", but she did not.
     "Ah am sorry, Madam Pig," she said, very embarrassed.
     "That's all right, dear, you don't need to apologize."
     "You know, this turkey reminds me of the one we had that one
Thanksgiving where we got the big snowfall.  Do you remeber
which one that was, Wade?"  asked Pappy.
     "That was 1958, wasn't it?"
     "Yeah, that sounds about right.  That was one good turkey."
     "I remember that Thanksgiving.  The first balloon in the Macy's
Thanksgiving Day parade was the one of Tom and Jerry, wasn't it? 
Oh well, we'll just have to watch that one later.  I've got it on tape."
     Hamton whispered to Fifi: "Are you all right?"
     "Oui, ah am fine," she said, trying to sound sincere.  She took a
small bite of turkey, and began to choke on it.  She started coughing
violently, but managed to dislodge the turkey from her throat.  It
flew out of her mouth, through the air, and onto Uncle Stinky's
plate.
     Everyone of the Pig family, except for Uncle Stinky, who was
too busy eating to notice, stared at her.
     "Have a drink of water, dear," Winnie told her.  Taking her
advice, Fifi reached for her water glass, and knocked it over again.
     After a few minutes, dinner ended.  The Pigs made it a point not
to allow Fifi to help clear off the table.  Fifi walked out into the yard
and sat down on the porch.  Hamton saw her leave, and went out
after her.
     Hamton saw her sitting on the Pig's swinging porch chair.  He
took a seat beside her.  "Don't worry, Fifi, everyone knows you're
nervous."
     "Zat's not all, Hamton," she told him.  "Ah have never been
accepted as mon of ze family.  Zat is what I was trying to do
tonight!"
     The front door opened, and Bubby walked out, carrying a book
under her arm.  "There's some pumpkin pie ready, Hamp'n.  Why
don't you go get yourself some?"
     Forgetting all about Fifi, Hamton shouted "Oh boy!", and ran
inside.
     "Uh oh, here it comes," Fifi said to herself as Bubby took a seat
next to her.
     "You are the sweetest girl I've ever met, Fifi," Bubby told her. 
"You and Hamp'n are good together."
     Fifi looked at her with surprise.  "But, I zought you didn't like
me," she told her.
     "Of course I like you," she said, "you're a very nice girl.  I always
wanted a daughter like you, not so clumsy, but just like you."
     Fifi hung her mouth open.  Bubby took the large book out from
under her arm and opened it.  "I didn't show you these yet, did I?" 
The book turned out to be a large photo album.  "All these pictures
are of Hamton."
     Fifi chuckled a little bit as Bubby showed her Hamton's naked
baby pictures.  "Oh, look at hiz cute little derriere!"
     The two sat out on the porch for nearly an hour going over
Hamton's photographs.  When she reached the last page, Fifi
noticed that there was only room for one more picture.  "Do you
know what I'm going to put here, Fifi?"  Fifi shook her head. 
Bubby removed from her handbag the picture of Hamton and her
she had took earlier.  "There," Bubby said as she slid the picture
into place, "now you're in here, too."
     Hamton ran out of the house with excitement.  "Hey, Bubby,
Fifi, we're going to watch slides of our vacation in 1991!  You want
to come watch?"
     "Sure thing, Hamp'n," said Bubby.  "Are you coming, dear?"
     Fifi had heard stories of the Pig family slideshows.  But she
knew she could suffer through one, for she now had in her
possesion something that was worth far more than a few hours of
boredom:  she had acceptance...

     The bunnies had just finished dinner.  Neither Buster or Babs ate
much.  They were too busy playing "footsie" under the table.  The
two rabbits retreated back into Babs's room as soon as they could
get away.  Babs shut the door and locked it behind them.
     Buster had a seat on her bed, and Babs sat down next to him. 
"Buster, I never realized how much I love you until we broke up."
     "Really?  Is that when you found out?"
     "Well, not RIGHT after."
     "When was it then?"
     "I think it was when I was in the forest this after...oh, don't
worry about it!"  The two rabbits moved closer together and started
to kiss.  Little did they know that they were not alone in the room. 
For, hiding udnerneath the bed was Yakko.  He slid out from
underneath, and pushed the  two rabbits away from each other.    
"All right, that's enough!"  he told them.
       "What are YOU doing in here?!" Buster demanded.
      He stared vehemently at Buster.  "I've come to bring Babs back
to her senses! I'M the one who loves her around here!"
     "Oh YEAH?!!!!  What do you think I'M doing here?!!!!"
     "Kissing Babs, and rather badly, I might add!"  Both of them
turned toward Babs.
     "Eh," she said as she srugged her shoulders, "he's getting better
at it."
     Yakko and Buster stared at each other, froth dripping out of
each of their mouths.  They both turned as Wakko burst into the
room.
     "What are YOU doing here?!!!!" they both demanded.
     "I've come to put this to an end!"  He turned to Babs, and said
quietly, "I love you, Babs, and I know you feel something for me
too, but I know who your one true love is!"
     "You too?!" yelled Buster.  "Geez, is there anyone else out in the
hall?!"
     The three lovesmitten toons stared wide-eyed at each other,
waiting for one of the other two to make a move.
     Babs sat back on the bed, took out a box of popcorn, and said:
"Oh, please, fellas, don't fight over me!"  She smiled and said to
herself:  "My my, Babs Bunny, guys just fall for you right and left!"
     Soon, all three realized that their fighting would resolve nothing. 
Yakko turned toward Babs and said: "All right, Babs, it's time to
choose!"
     "Oh, if I must," she said as she hopped off the bed.  She went
and stood over in front of Yakko.  "Look, Yakko, I think you're
very charming, and a lot of fun to be around, but we just wouldn't
be right together.  I like to be the funny one in the relationship."
     Buster frowned a bit at Babs as she walked over toward Wakko. 
"You're right, Wakko.  I do feel something for you," she then
added, leaning a bit closer to Buster "and if SOMEONE doesn't
watch out, you and I might just be together in the future!  But I
think that you both know I could never leave Buster."  Then putting
her arms around him, she said: "I love you, Buster, and I always
will."  They kissed, and the two Warners knew their ships had been
collectively sunk.
     When the two rabbits were finished, Yakko offered Buster a
congratulatory handshake.  "Hey, no hard feelings?"
     Buster was slow to take it, but he eventually did.  "No hard
feelings."(Babs was tempted to say something, but she chose not
to.)
     "Come on, Wakko, we have other women to harrass."
     "Right," Wakko answered as they went out the door.  Wakko
poked his head back in momentarily to say: "By the way, do you
guys want to come over for dinner tomorrow?  I'm making turkey
hash!"
     "No," the rabbits answered in unison.  When the Warner boys
had left, Buster looked Babs straight in the eyes and said.  "I love
you, Babs.
     "I love you too, Buster."
THE END
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS:
The author wishes to thank the following two people for their
contributions to this story:
     John Friedrich (aka Nefaria@aol.com) for putting the idea in my
head that there was something to Wakko's and Babs's relationship
other than what was on the surface.
     And a big hefty thanks to Lisa Marie Anderson, my former
girlfriend.  I was having a hard time with this story until she called
me two weeks ago.  After that, this story was a breeze to write! 
(P.S.  Lisa, if you happen to read this story...I would like my heart
back.  Just FedEx it to me once you're done stomping on it.)
     My sincerest apologies go to Kevin Mickel (aka
HKUria@aol.com) for choosing to completely ignore his brilliant
Tiny Toon Adventures trilogy:"Buster and Babs: No Relation?",
"What's in a Name?", and "And That's A Wrap!" in the writing of
this story.
     "Parting is such sweet sorrow!"